...to smoke cannabis while breastfeeding

[SemiCharmedWife]

I don't know where to begin.

Actually I do, I'm not a troll, I'm not a regular poster who has namechanged, I'm a lurker who reads the reviews and reads the forums when the baby is having a day of eating and I am stuck to the sofa. This is probably a one-shot username and as it is, I am a little worried someone will trace my IP because what I'm doing is illegal and probably a bit wrong, but I can't be bothered with the SWIM (Someone Who Isn't Me) games. Please be aware I am not taking this lightly, but I don't know who else to come clean to.

I realise by saying 'I'm not a troll', 95% of people will nod and think 'that's what a troll would say'.

I'm procrastinating.

I still smoke weed while breastfeeding DD (4 months) and I was still toking while pregnant. I found out I was pregnant when I was over 20 weeks gone last autumn - if it had been all nicely planned, I tell myself I would have given up. I had an easy pregnancy, a natural labour and DD was a week overdue and perfectly healthy. I am aware that I potentially have dodged a bullet and I would have been devastated if there had been something wrong with her. I think I'm an average mum. I love her (although it wasn't instant, she makes me melt now when she smiles and laughs), I am patient 97% of the time, most housework gets done and I take her out of the house every other day at least.

But I never managed to stop smoking cannabis.

I was going to stop at the new year, then I was going to stop when the baby was born, then I was only going to smoke when the baby was in bed and we tried... but right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed. One of us stays with DD and we take turns if she's being grumpy, otherwise we go outside and keep an eye on her if she's downstairs/take the monitor if she's in bed. I don't get so stoned that I couldn't react if there was an emergency, I just relax and chat with DH.

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula? I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because it's working for us and I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again, but I can't help but think I am drugging my DD sometimes. Are there actually plenty of mums who still smoke and it's a big, well-kept secret? Am I worrying too much and me and DH will grow out of it (I make us sound like teenagers, we're both mid-20s)? It has to be said that while I would quite like to stop sometimes, my DH will apply pressure to spend money on weed, is very pro-smoking and doesn't think I'm doing/have done anything wrong and even voiced the opinion that I had such an easy pregnancy because I was smoking (not in spite of!). What will the police/SS actually do if someone reports me? Do I deserve to have my baby taken away from me?

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this, but I'm too scared to be honest with the Health Visitor or the Doctor and I'm even lying to most of my friends (who knew I smoked but presumed I gave up when I was pregnant/had DD). Maybe I need to have my arse kicked and my face rubbed into cold hard facts that prove what I am doing is DISGUSTING and WRONG. Maybe people will surprise me and admit a lot of parents (especially with littl'uns who don't understand) still smoke cannabis, my DH is right and I should just stop worrying. Maybe people will empathise and have ideas on how to say no while DH is outside the back door smoking.

And let the judging commence.

My younger brother has cannabis induced psychosis. If I could show you the devastating effect it has had on his life you would stop it for yourself never mind your poor baby. Your child didn't ask for this. I am not hugey anti drugs at all but it is a choice and you aren't giving your baby that courtesy. You are playing with fire smoking cannabis with a know mental health problem and the cannabis and tobacco are harmful. Get some help for this.

You know what you need to do.

Really, you do.

Get help and stop.

Btw, one of the big issues with smoking week is the smoking. Your DD is exposed to second hand smoke every day of her life . And has a mother who is at risk of premature death.

Stop, with support in place just in case your MH goes off - as Reality said, it is far more likely that it'll improve in the longrun.

The fact that you have posted here proves that you know you need to stop.
And WTF somebody stopping breathing on your sofa - I presume they did not just have an entirely sober episode of breathholding ?? I'd be worried having my daughter grow up with these kind of examples TBH...

Thank Christ someone talking sense at last. I thought I'd stumbled into some strange parallel universe where it was ok to be a dickhead and not give two tosses about the welfare of your children.

Wow. some of the reactions on here are pretty Daily Mail influenced. They also seem to come from people with little to no knowledge of what they are talking about. However, I think you definitely need to cut down from smoking 3 a day. As a former heavy smoker I know it can be done and fortunately I didn't suffer any withdrawal symptoms physically. Psychologically was tougher, but much like giving up fags. I have no idea what effect it will have on your baby long-term ingesting through BF but I would imagine it is definitely putting your DD in a less advantageous position than she could be. You really need to talk to your husband and cut down together asit sounds as though you both enable each other. If the thought of giving up entirely is toomuch then if you can start by going to 1 a day then that is a start. It is doable but you have to have some willpower. Good luck.

I think it would be a very good idea for you to see your GP and get help with stopping. Whilst I am not convinced that there is evidence of damage to children exposed to THC, I am concerned that the effect on your mental health and motivation could have a negative impact on your child.

However, I think some of the opinions on this thread are extreme.
I know weed smokers with children. They have good jobs, bright, healthy children and nice houses.
It is possible to smoke and still be a great parent imo.

'Your poor poor daughter. If I knew who you were I would call SS this afternoon and get her the help she is going to need growing up with a couple of drug addict parents at least one of whom is mentally ill.'

What a fucking unhelpful post.
And mental illness does not prevent someone from being a good parent. I'm sure you are just perfect, Wafflepuss, but not everybody is.

Mine is not daily mail influenced in any way! My brother was a heroin addict for 6 years but the doctors said the cannabis had damaged him more!

YABU

don't have anything else to add.

And I agree with Porcamiseria, lots of Daily Mail style gasps of horror and 'call SS' screeching, but very little stats or evidence.

Winnybella's link is completely inconclusive, and I am trying to locate some research on the benefits of BF outweighing any risk posed by THC in BM. Not sure there is much evidence either way, tbh.

Noddy - that comment wasn't directed at you in particular and I am very sorry for your brother, and you, for that experience. I would state however that no study has ever shown any causal link between cannabis and mental illness. Cannabis use and mental health have been shown to correlate. My personal belief is that yes it can exacerbate underlying/pre-existent mental issues, but that is purely subjective empirical hypothesis. As I imagine was the Doctors reaction given the lack of any literature to support their claim.

I would also add that I know of many people who have smoked it for years with no seeming ill effects and who have brought up/are bringing up their kids in an exemplary fashion. Full of love, care and everything else a child could wish for.

Anyway, I don't really want to get bogged down in that - it was more the people screeching "addict" and wanting to call social services that wound me up. Especially as the woman (bravely) came on here looking for some constructive advice.

As I said, though I feel sympathy for those posting who have had bad experiences with family member's drug use, anecdotes are not reliable as evidence.
I know recreational drug users with very good jobs that manage their use sensibly, in the same way lots of people drink alcohol in moderation.

So you have given up taking drug for your schizophrenia but your still smoking weed which will make your psychosis even worse.
Get off the stuff and get back on your meds as it sounds like you'll be heading for trouble start taking the quetiapine. You seriously need to seek professional help on this one.
I wish you and your DC well

I think that breastmilk from a mother who smokes weed is still better for your baby than formula milk is.

however, you know that this is not ideal, not by a long way... and you do need to stop

i'd recommend getting your partner to stop too... because it will be much, much easier if both of you are giving up. how can you stop when it is something you do together? it just makes it that bit harder doesn't it?

your dh is not right, and you shouldn't stop worrying. he is merely saying this because he likes smoking weed with you and doesn't want to stop

passive smoking is also bad for your child, and unless your husband is changing his clothes as soon as he comes into the house he is also passing on smoke/drugs to his daughter.

I disagree thisis formula milk is much better than breast milk laced in cannabis.

IMO you need to chose between your dd and your dh. If you stay with your dh you will continue to smoke and put your dd's life at risk. If you leave him, you might be able to stop and give your dd the start she deserves.

I fail to see unless I see established research, how feeding your child with breastmilk with toxic drugs in is better than formula .

My brother has been part of a huge and ongoing study. He started smoking wed aged 14 and was diagnosed with psychosis when 36. In between he did heroin which he gave up in his 20s. Before I saw what happened to him and others like him I thought the same as a lot of people here.

surely drug taking takes away all the good that bf does.

it's hardly "laced" in cannabis

the amounts of the drug in the milk are (from what i've read from Hale who is the god of all things medical in breastmilk) really very small and "insignificant"

and the baby will of course gain all the "benefits" of breastmilk which it would not have with formula

drug-addicted mothers, including those with heroin etc etc are advised to breastfeed their babies when they are born too

if you can point me in the direction of some evidence that large quantities of cannabis is found in breastmilk then i'd love to see it

Just came back to this and realised you had posted about having a mental health issue already. I did not read that post before.

In that case can I PLEASE PLEASE urge you to stop smoking even one spliff a day. If one day you could stop completely that would be amazing, but obviously it is a step at a time that will get you there.

People who smoke with mental health issues can spiral into complete psychosis. My relative works as a case worker for people of all ages and backgrounds with mental health issues, when you see a 20 year old with paranoia that has spiralled into schizophrenia it is heartbreaking.

When you see a son start to believe his mother is a demon and actually thinking she is sent by the devil to destroy him, and the effect this has on the poor mother trying to help him back to health, it is heartbreaking.

There are many more examples I can give but I don't want to be so alarmist.

I do think it is not just your daughters health you should worry about now, but also the effects your mental health issues may have on her life in the future if smoking weed causes them to become enhanced and/ or severe.

But I still think weed is not as harmful as alcohol when consumed in moderation and people need to relax about it. The examples I have given are of over consumers of weed who have been intense regular smokers.