...to smoke cannabis while breastfeeding

[SemiCharmedWife]

I don't know where to begin.

Actually I do, I'm not a troll, I'm not a regular poster who has namechanged, I'm a lurker who reads the reviews and reads the forums when the baby is having a day of eating and I am stuck to the sofa. This is probably a one-shot username and as it is, I am a little worried someone will trace my IP because what I'm doing is illegal and probably a bit wrong, but I can't be bothered with the SWIM (Someone Who Isn't Me) games. Please be aware I am not taking this lightly, but I don't know who else to come clean to.

I realise by saying 'I'm not a troll', 95% of people will nod and think 'that's what a troll would say'.

I'm procrastinating.

I still smoke weed while breastfeeding DD (4 months) and I was still toking while pregnant. I found out I was pregnant when I was over 20 weeks gone last autumn - if it had been all nicely planned, I tell myself I would have given up. I had an easy pregnancy, a natural labour and DD was a week overdue and perfectly healthy. I am aware that I potentially have dodged a bullet and I would have been devastated if there had been something wrong with her. I think I'm an average mum. I love her (although it wasn't instant, she makes me melt now when she smiles and laughs), I am patient 97% of the time, most housework gets done and I take her out of the house every other day at least.

But I never managed to stop smoking cannabis.

I was going to stop at the new year, then I was going to stop when the baby was born, then I was only going to smoke when the baby was in bed and we tried... but right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed. One of us stays with DD and we take turns if she's being grumpy, otherwise we go outside and keep an eye on her if she's downstairs/take the monitor if she's in bed. I don't get so stoned that I couldn't react if there was an emergency, I just relax and chat with DH.

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula? I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because it's working for us and I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again, but I can't help but think I am drugging my DD sometimes. Are there actually plenty of mums who still smoke and it's a big, well-kept secret? Am I worrying too much and me and DH will grow out of it (I make us sound like teenagers, we're both mid-20s)? It has to be said that while I would quite like to stop sometimes, my DH will apply pressure to spend money on weed, is very pro-smoking and doesn't think I'm doing/have done anything wrong and even voiced the opinion that I had such an easy pregnancy because I was smoking (not in spite of!). What will the police/SS actually do if someone reports me? Do I deserve to have my baby taken away from me?

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this, but I'm too scared to be honest with the Health Visitor or the Doctor and I'm even lying to most of my friends (who knew I smoked but presumed I gave up when I was pregnant/had DD). Maybe I need to have my arse kicked and my face rubbed into cold hard facts that prove what I am doing is DISGUSTING and WRONG. Maybe people will surprise me and admit a lot of parents (especially with littl'uns who don't understand) still smoke cannabis, my DH is right and I should just stop worrying. Maybe people will empathise and have ideas on how to say no while DH is outside the back door smoking.

And let the judging commence.

Oh and also why do people get this image of parents sat in the cloudy living room blowing smoke in their childrens faces??

Give up the tobbacco if you can.. I used to have some good info on cannabis and breast milk... will look them up if i can. Please dont give up BF though.

i have just reread your posts and what strikes me most is that you seem unhappy with your weed smoking particularly given it is regular and probably could be described as heavy useage. would it be possible for you to cut down and still get the benefits you speak of (you say that your mental health issues flared when you stopped completely). i did see a bbc doco where a doctor was talking of some new research suggesting that with specific types of mental illness it can help.

its a shame there isn't more research into this but its not very politically popular. you only have to read the replies to this OP to see that.

This is more than about just breastfeeding though peanut, it's about bringing up a child in a household where (a) one parents mental health issues are not being addressed and (b) where both parents are smoking dope habitually.

It could be perceived as a CP issue, not now maybe...but in a couple of years time when the breastfed 4 month old is a demanding toddler or later when she's a school child/teenager.

And as someone said, has the OP not connected her own issues with the fact that her mother is a habitual dope smoker.

'After all, if anyone posted "I am on XXXX drug, should I breastfeed?", everyone would say check with your doctor to see if it is safe. Surely the advice here should be "Ask your doctor" not "Carry on breastfeeding"'

Maryz, doctors often know very little about drugs and breastfeeding. Some women on here have been wrongly informed by them. dr. hale is a more reliable authority.

Peanutdream: 'OP absolutely DO NOT give up breastfeeding for formula just because you smoke a few joints'

Jesus H Christ, now I've heard everything

i agree alistron, this is more complicated due to the mental health issues. however, we don't know the mother of the OP - she may be like those many rastafarians that smoke it and never have a problem, quite the opposite in fact, or those many professionals that never have a problem etc etc. also, if the OP is only smoking it when the toddler is in bed then that wouldn't be a problem on its own, surely. much like having a glass of wine when the toddler is in bed which is entirely socially acceptable.

this thread is as much an exposure of our culture. it depends entirely on whether the smoking weed is a problem or not. that sounds simplistic, but for many responsible adults around the globe, it really isn't.

dreamingbohemian what evidence do you have, or on whose authority are you depending for your reaction to what i said?

'you could get stoned and drop her' oh deary me! ROFL.

How could you not drop her. Some of the people who walk around my estate stoned dont look capable of looking pushing a baby in a pram never mind breast feeding.

So ff's worse than drugs, christ ive heard it all and poisoned my kids, shame on me

And by the way op i would mention it to the HV and see what she says. I know of numerous kids taken into care for their mothers drug habit including 2 of my cousins.

Peanutdream, you're a bit of a numpty aren't you?

why the name calling alistron?? you're cheating - not part of a reasonable discussion to name call.

Well, trying to derail this into a discussion about weed smoking in culture. It's not the time or the place. You have an agenda re weed...and I may or may not agree with you. But now is not the time or place for that conversation.

Apologies for calling you a numpty

Maybe I need something to calm my fingers down

There is no way of knowing though if it is a problem as my poor brother found. He had no problem either until much later. She is risking it imo

Peanut, look at it this way:

For all the reasons mentioned previously, there are no reliable studies that show that smoking weed while BF is not harmful. Maybe it's not. Or, maybe it has a serious impact on a growing baby's brain development, we don't know. (The OP's DD is 4 months, not a toddler as you said.)

On the other hand, there are plenty of studies showing that FF is not harmful for babies. Not as good as BF, but not actually harmful.

So if you have a choice between something that could be really harmful, and something that is probably not at all harmful, which do you choose?

I don't care if people smoke weed but FFS why take a chance on exposing your kid to it? It's just so unnecessary.

I'm with dreamingbohemian.........

OP, you write: "right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed."

Never mind your child: how interesting is it to smoke so much?

Apology accepted alistron1.

I don't have a particular agenda. The strength of the some of the replies and some of the ignorance on this thread caused me to react. As to whether it is the time or the place... well I would have thought it was, but perhaps not.

dreamingbohemian, to be honest, if it was harmful, we would have seen it by now, given that it has been around, and used, for centuries by pregnant and breastfeeding women.

There are no studies on breastmilk! How would we have seen it by now? No one knows so if you want to take risks with your own health and mental health fine but it is not ok to take risks with anothers who can't speak for him/herself

Regardless of FF vs BF and what research may exist, surely it's going to be really important that you get some help with your underlying mental health issues and work on how you will change your lifestyle longer term. How will you manage once your dd is old enough to understand what is going on?
I think you've posted this because you know that you need to talk to your GP or someone else who can get you some help.

But I am amazed by your attitude wrt to how you dealt with medical professionals whilst pregnant:

Then no one thought to ask if I was still smoking cannabis specifically, only smoking in general so I got 'lucky' and slipped past a lot of awkward questions.

I am pregnant and have some issues to discuss with my midwife, like you I would rather not say anything. However under no circumstances have I seen it as 'getting lucky and slipping past the questions' instead I have felt only shame that I couldn't be more honest.

I think you are very brave to post this and don't think you are a bad mother but do think you should try to stop.

I smoked a bit when I was breastfeeding (although didn't exclusively breastfeed) ds2 and I have to say at the time I knew it was wrong but I just couldn't say no when it was around. It makes a massive difference if your DH smokes too (they don't adapt to parenthood as quickly as women esp if you're just in your mid-twenties... i was too).

You're expected to give up so much stuff for such a long period of time - I'm talking about eating pate and going on rollercoasters here - it's rubbish, having a child means you have to sacrifice your whole existence for at least pregnancy and bfing and whilst you know its worth it and you want to do everything right and enjoy it like everyone expects you to it doesn't make it easy. BUT your body WILL be yours again to do with as you choose and it goes so fast.

The reason I think you should stop is that you will one day look back on the time you have now with your baby and wish you could remember it more, wish you didn't feel guilty about the things you did wrong. Just do one day at a time.

Ignore all the people saying you are selfish - you're not, just human.

Good luck

OP, try to ignore the hysterical cries of "put her in care". Do not let these posters put you off getting help. Children are only taken into care when they are being severely neglected or abused.

Give up stuff for a long period of time its rubbish!
Are you serious? 9 months for another human beings life and the gift that is

Sorry, not read all post, but I can't believe you have delude yourself into thinking it's not that bad and that loads of people do it but don't admit it - or that the risks of formula outweigh the risks of doing what you're doing. You clearly have a serious problem if you can't even stop when it is putting you child at risk. GET HELP. Your health visitor will be able to help you, and I don't think it will mean your dc will be taken away if you ask for help, however if you continue to bring up a child in that kind of environment it becomes more of a strong possibility.

Cannabis used has been linked to increased mental health problems if it is taken by a teenager as their brains are still developing. Just imagine what it could do to a poor baby. Especially daily use. I couldn't live with myself personally. Well you wanted honesty...