To dislike the culture of alcohol worship on MN?

[MumblingRagDoll]

I know it's all lighthearted....but I find it icky. Not people saying ..have a to cheer someone up so much...but all the "Just waiting till' wine o clock statements get to me.
I think it's because a close relative is an acoholic and I have seen the damage.

Alcohol is such a damaging thing...and I'm genuinely surprised (and yes...judgey) about how many parents seem to rely on it every night.

Maybe 'defensive' isn't the word... some are a little bit aggressive though.

I don't know why... drink what you want, nobody's watching - only YOU.

jesuswhatnext

Right off to make tea and find some

Well life's about more than getting twatted Expat. For some people.

Mumbling, I've had some personal involvement with the damage that alcoholism does. I also think there's a real problem in this country with social drinking, drinking and crime, drinking in the home etc.

I suppose being teetotal the issue is magnified because I do get painted as somehow 'abnormal' and having worked in universities for years before becoming a sahm, the daily tales of 'I was so wasted that...' or the culture of drinking to get drunk that seemed so prevalent did leave me quite saddened.

And I think when you see all that, it's easy for what are usually throwaway comments on an Internet forum to bring up the same feelings.

I'll go out on a limb and say that the vast, vast majority of MNers are safe, social drinkers. But I bet as a reflection of the culture we have now there are a few MNers who are dependent. Some might admit it, I bet a few don't.

I often ponder this on 'how much is your weekly shop' threads where people give two figures. One with, one without alcohol. It's a norm isn't it but I'm not sure it should be. I genuinely don't know though. But I understand where you're coming from.

As far as I was aware, and I might be wrong, alcoholism isn't just about quantity. Its more about dependance. So if you need that single glass of wine every night then you have a problem.

I'm 25 but I still find people around my age think a good time means going out and getting as drunk as possible. I just dont understand that mentality.

I have/had 2 alcoholic parents. Up until the age of 21 I drank, but didnt know my limits AT ALL. I stopped drinking when I got pregnant with my 3 yo DD and haven't drank since because I'm aware I could easily become an alcoholic.

expatinscotland I don't understand you're statement regarding the US having a food and drug problem. How does that relate to the comment you quoted? I think the poster you quoted has a valid point though.

Come to Germany folks, it makes the UK look like Saudi Arabia...

'Well life's about more than getting twatted Expat. For some people.'

Not everyone who drinks gets twatted.

And Special, sorry, but I'm really not interested in you or what you understand or don't.

Well thanks SOH. I too have seen the shocking effects. Violence and illness....but you're right. The majority of people here are probably healthy balanced drinkers....I just feel that alchol is dangerous in a way and shouldn't be made so light of perhaps.

Calling me names...as some have done is just silly....if people are happy with their habits then fine. But I DO have the right to question the way it's portayed on here....the way ipeople make out it's great, lovely, normal, a crutch...and the saddest... something which makes life bearable...it bloody awful really.

I don't drink, FWIW. It costs too much, too.

But I don't really give a rat's arse about what everyone else drinks or how they refer to it.

I am not a drinker and I come from a family where drinking was rare and I think when you come from that position it can seem weird drinking every night. And it feels a bit like I don't need it to relax/have fun etc so why does everyone else.

However it doesn't make everyone else alcoholics. It isn't one extreme or the other.

I do drink sometimes and I have been drunk many many times - its just not something that appeals on a daily basis and I think it would probably make it more difficult to get up in the morning. TBH I much preferred weed as my drug of choice.

My dh on the other hand does have a drink most nights (beer or cider in his case) and I don't think he has a problem. It's just a bit alien to me.

But I don't think people realise how much its mentioned - from the comments about wine o' clock to offering a virtual drink everytime something stressful happens. When its an alien concept to you then it stands out. And it is a country thing rather than being MN specific.

There are some people for who a glass of wine in an evening actually means a bottle or two but they are not the norm and you can't assume a poster on here having a glass of an evening is one.

And btw saying everyone who doesn't drink is dull and a killjoy is as fucking rude as saying anyone who drinks regularly is practically an alcoholic. And about as true.

Well Expat if we all didn't give a rats arse about other people or question how they think about things.... then the world would be a pretty grim place.

But if you dont give a rats then why are you still here on the thread?

But it is 'great, lovely and normal' to me OP.

It's not to you...and that's also great.

I disagree SpecialFriedRice, I'm dependent on it to give me a bit of escapism and take the edge of life for a couple of hours a day, but that doesn't cause me any problems at all.

And that's not me in denial, I see it as self medicating with a legal drug.

Thanks Armadillo....I didnt want to go down the defending my personality to those people who said non-drinkers were boring....I do have a drink...when I go out for dinner or to a party or something.

I enjoy a drink. Most days I don't drink at all, one or two days a week I have a couple and sometimes I drink a whole bottle of wine to myself! Sometimes I drink even more. Sometimes I drink irresponsibly, I slur and turn my music up too loud and talk over others.

As I get older, the hangovers get worse and responsibilities get greater, so get very drunk less and less. The paranoia the next day also gets also worse, so I'm now very careful about who I get pissed with

But then, some of my favourite memories are of times spent squiffy with good friends. And, to be frank, some of the best sex I've ever had with DP has happened when we've had a few.

I'm no idiot and have seen first hand the negative impact of alcohol misuse. But I am a grown up and I resent being 'told off' for enjoying getting pissed now and then.

Cheers.

to be honest living with someone who drinks too much is pretty miserable

sometimes i fancy a glass of wine or a G&T, sometimes I go for weeks without. Really its up to the individual/

I don't drink. Please don't chuck me out...

Far more people rely on alcohol than will admit. Indeed I believe a lot of people do not know they rely on it.

Alcohol causes more deaths yearly than any other substance and that is through moderate regular consumption, not just excessive consumption.

I know a well respected addictions psychiatrist who is astonished by the number of people who unintentionally and gradually become addicted to alcohol. It takes a smaller amount of alcohol than most people would imagine to constitute a binge drinking session - 2 pints for ladies!

YANBU the effects on SOME peoples lives is dreadful. Alcohol is a drug. It affects the mind and body as soon as you drink it.

I enjoy a glass of wine occasionally but only usually when I'm eating.

And anyone who says drinking whilst pregnant is ok must be barmy. Speak to any paediatrician about foetal alcohol syndrome and the physical, psychological and emotional impact this can have on child and through adulthood and you will be amazed as to how much more common this is than thought. There are large numbers of undiagnosed people with this. It can take only one drink to cause this. I was shocked but people ignore it and think they know best.

Also not a good impression to give to children - regular boozer.

I sound like the angel of doom but that's life!

Mumbling, it's taken me years to get to a point where I can see/hear people talking about alcohol with such a nonchalant attitude for me not to react very badly. I understand perfectly well where you're coming from (and there is a huge problem in this country, particularly with drinking in the home as a matter of routine/habit) but I had to- for my own sanity- adopt a healthier attitude towards it.

Too many people drink too much and the seemingly acceptable face of alcoholism is dependence within the home when it's painted as a glass of two of wine every day just to unwind. But feeling sad about it is probably patronising of me and reacting to jokey comments on here is a waste of my time. I try and volunteer as much as I can instead, with charities that can and do make a difference. And now I sounds like the sanctimonious teetotal prig I fear I am.

I have never had personal experience of alcoholism - nobody in my family has ever suffered from it, and none of us seem to drink very often anyway (very often in my world equates to any time other than weekends or nights out....).

But now and again I do 'need' a drink. Ok I don't 'need' one, but want one to help de-stress me. I haven't had a drink since the weekend when I shared a bottle of wine with a friend on a night out then switched to cokes because I'm a lightweight. But today I got home from work, stressed out as hell from a crap day, during which I found out a close friend has just been diagnosed with a v serious illness. And then I had to negotiate three grumpy and overtired children into bed.

I have just sat down in front of the tv and, on the way, poured myself a large glass of wine, which I am now sipping and is doing a lovely job of numbing my stress. One is all I will have because anymore will give me a headache. As I said, I am a lightweight.

So is that such a bad thing?

MumblingRagDoll I think this is a really thought provoking discussion about social drinking and the culture in the UK.

It is difficult to express any opinion on MN without someone taking it personally and feeling critiicised- just the nature of big forums.

As other posters have said, I assume the majority of MNetters (just like the UK) will drink socially and have no issues with it. I also find it helpful to listen to people who have a history of alcohol misuse in themselves or their families and to respect their concerns and stories. I do think it is helpful to have a range of relaxation options as opposed to just drinking to relax.

Moderation does not = joylessness imo (god, that sounds sanctimonious! )

Haven't read all of the thread but I predict you will have been torn to shreds due to the culture on here you mentioned in your title. I also have an alcoholic parent and don't drink. When I tell people I don't drink in real life most people look at me with a mixture of shock, horror and sympathy and I'm not quite sure why. Presumably because I don't need to tip poison down my throat to relax/have a good time. Most people I know (who aren't alcoholics or heavy drinkers) drink to relax and it's a really unhealthy habit imo and one that can easily spiral out of control at times of high stress.
So YANBU OP but the culture that drinking = normal and not drinking = abnormal isn't confined to mn.

I love a good drink - really love it. That feeling of release, the fuzzyness, the way in which my stress levels really go down...mmm!
I have to say it's saved me a few times - it really has. It helps me to let go and be more free, which is lovely. I get my chatty head on, I talk, I get my feelings out, I wash my soul clean and start again the next day feeling less stressed.

I love a cracking night out where everyone lets loose and drinks loads and gets silly - some of the greatest times I've had have been those kinds of nights. The stories we tell in our circle of friends (who all grew up together) are brilliant, and mainly alcohol fuelled.

I can see how easy it would be to get hooked and to want more. ALcohol has it's place, just as caffeine and sugar does in the making you feel good factor. But it's when it comes to be a detriment to the way in which you function or your health...that's when there should be cause for concern.

A lot of women on here lead extremely hectic and stressful lives for various reasons. I've had days where I'm so stressed I'm all ' I need a fucking beer!' RAAA!!!'

There is a line, as with everything.
I suppose it comes down to being aware and watching what you are doing. Being aware of your feelings about alcohol, being aware of the effect it's having long-term, if any.

MooMoo, sounds normal to me. Some days I need a slab of gingerbread and an earl grey. It helps me unwind. I'm certainly not addicted to either. Well, actually that's up for debate. Having things that help you relax, glass of wine, bath, chocolate, good dvd, sex, running whatever is a good thing. It's good that you know how to unwind. It's when you have no other avenue to comfort that it's a problem. I'm sorry about your friend.