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Original poster

To dislike the culture of alcohol worship on MN?

320 replies

MumblingRagDoll · 07/06/2011 17:45

I know it's all lighthearted....but I find it icky. Not people saying ..have a Wine to cheer someone up so much...but all the "Just waiting till' wine o clock statements get to me.
I think it's because a close relative is an acoholic and I have seen the damage.

Alcohol is such a damaging thing...and I'm genuinely surprised (and yes...judgey) about how many parents seem to rely on it every night.

OP posts:
Riveninside · 08/06/2011 09:51

What LRD said. I do dislike the attitude that if you dont drink you must be boring or unable to have fun. Tis not true

TheBigJessie · 08/06/2011 09:52

I'm teetotal. I don't make a big thing about it. I really, really don't. My take on it is: if I don't want people criticising my life, I'm not going to criticise other people's first. But when people realise (generally after they've clocked that I've got J2O/apple juice/whatever juice on the menu that I thought sounded nice), I note how forceful they tend to be in their attempt to get me to buy something alcoholic and how much pressure they try to exert.

It makes me wonder at what kind of culture we have, where this kind of rudeness over alcohol is acceptable to so many people. People who would never dream of behaving the same way over any comestible.

Primalscream · 08/06/2011 11:07

I'm always a bit suspicious of people who don't drink at all - they must be doing something else I reckon -

TheBigJessie · 08/06/2011 11:25

You're right. I've spent the money I save with having apple juice on a great big f* off HD flatscreen tv. It's so big you can see it from the MOON!

Overthinking cap on More seriously, I think maybe your innocent joke might sum up the topic. Why do you wonder, even slightly, if teetotal people are taking some narcotic substance as substitute for alcohol? Why is the assumption that normal UK existence is so miserable, that one must be consuming something?

catwhiskers10 · 08/06/2011 11:30

I used to drink regularly before falling pregnant with DD,(sometimes copious amounts :) ) she's now 15 months and still BF so I have only had the odd drink since her birth and I realised that I just dont enjoy drinking any more so am now teetotal.
I hate the view that if you don't drink it's like something is wrong with you and people will try to force you to have a drink you don't want.
As for the idea that if you don't drink you must be "doing something else" (like what exactly?) that is a ridiculous assumption to make.

Primalscream · 08/06/2011 11:32

Are you talking to me ?

TheBigJessie · 08/06/2011 11:32

Yes.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/06/2011 11:33

I'm always a bit suspicious of people who don't drink at all - they must be doing something else I reckon

This sums up for me everything that's wrong with the drinking culture in the UK. Why can't people be as free not to drink alcohol if they don't want to, without the stigma? :(

Primalscream · 08/06/2011 11:45

Ok - I didn't mean they must be on drugs or anything - but they must be getting their 'buzz' from something - that could be eating too much chocolate, shopping when you can't really afford to, having sex with someone who isn't your partner, arguing with strangers on the Internet, moaning about everything that moves ( victor meldrew types )
No one is perfect - we all do something we probably shouldn't be doing.

babybarrister · 08/06/2011 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Primalscream · 08/06/2011 11:47

And at one time or another - I've done the lot.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/06/2011 11:51

PrimalScream... I really disagree with your view that one needs to be doing something to 'excess' in order to feel good. Many, many people live their lives quite happily doing this, doing that, without thinking of it.

Perhaps you didn't mean it to come over the way it did but it sounds as if you feel you have to defend your position on alcohol... you think perhaps that other people care how much you drink and therefore you have to remind them of their own foibles (real and imagined) so that they too know they're not perfect. Confused

Can we just agree that nobody's perfect and that this has nothing to do with whether you drink a little, a lot or not at all?

BigTuna · 08/06/2011 11:55

Maybe if someone is having a fruit juice the ones drinking alcohol view it as some kind of comment on their drinking as if the non-drinker is saying 'I don't need to drink. I wonder why you do?' Which is ridiculous obviously.

FWIW, I don't drink because I never go out and it's a social thing for me. It just never occurs to me to drink in the house or have wine with a meal at home. If I have a bad day or want to celebrate something or relax because DS is in bed it's food I turn to but I'm obviously a foodaholic because I always have too much rather than something as a treat. Is why I'm fat. I suppose that's the difference between a glass of wine to relax and a bottle or two every night. Some are just better at moderation than others.

I was watching '24 Hours in A&E' the other day and there was a couple of blokes on there who'd hurt themselves through being so habitually pissed. I commented to my daughter (tongue firmly in cheek) that at least fat people just sit quietly at home with a few pizzas rather than falling over drunk and causing trouble in hospital but alcholism is acknowledged to be an illness for the most part. Fat people are just disgusting with no self-control.

Primalscream · 08/06/2011 11:57

I just don't trust 'perfect' people - they're probably selling monkeys over the Internet or something - illegal animal traffickers.

TheBigJessie · 08/06/2011 11:58

Sure, I do unhealthful as well as healthful things sometimes. But not to get a buzz of any sort. I do things because I like them, for themselves.

Life simply isn't that bad, that I need that.

catwhiskers10 · 08/06/2011 12:01

primalscream everyone gets a "buzz" out of different things in life whether they drink or not. I can certainly identify with eating too much chocolate :o
Nobody is saying drinking is something you shouldn't be doing but likewise, if you don't drink, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you and it is something you should be doing.

TheBigJessie · 08/06/2011 12:04

BigTuna Maybe if someone is having a fruit juice the ones drinking alcohol view it as some kind of comment on their drinking as if the non-drinker is saying 'I don't need to drink. I wonder why you do?' Which is ridiculous obviously.

Which reminds me of Maryz 's posts on defensiveness, actually. Perhaps I shouldn't feel offended at their pushiness, and should be... More supportive in some fashion? But that seems pretty patronising, even in my head.

jesuswhatnext · 08/06/2011 13:41

who are these people 'forcing' drinks on to other people? - during this last sober year i have never come across judgement, or been pushed to have a drink - the people who know i have a problem would NEVER be so crass as to have a dig at me and have been nothing but supportive - the people who dont know have just simply accepted that i dont want an alcoholic drink! i dont know who these people are that care so much about what other people may or may not be drinking!

as to how much is too much - i think if your consuption levels worry you then you have a problem - dosent matter if its a glass a week or a bottle a night. if you are unhappy with your drinking then its a problem only you can solve.

btw, i have absloutly no problem with other people having a drink, my dh still drinks, i have it in the house etc. but i can honestly tell you, having observed it from the 'other side' that there is a very fine line between having a couple of drinks and being fun and chatty and pleasent to be with before you become boring, talk the same old shit, get a bit bolshy and generally just piss people off! might be worth remembering ladies! Grin

Riveninside · 08/06/2011 13:45

I'm always a bit suspicious of people who don't drink at all - they must be doing something else I reckon"

What a stupid thing to say. I dont drink. This does not mean i club kittens to death in my spare time. Ffs

WhatGoodIsThis · 08/06/2011 13:50

It is not a MN thing. In the UK, it is socially acceptable to drink frequently and to drink copious amounts. If you go to pretty much anywhere else in the world (with a few notable exceptions), such a culture doesn't exist.

When we have oversees visitors, they invariably all comment on how much Brits drink.

Drinking has become normalised here.

HeadfirstForHalos · 08/06/2011 13:52

I gave you a Biscuit on the first page, then forgot about this thread :)

You said "see how defensive people get about it", and I just wanted to point out that I rarely drink, so I have nothing to be defensive about.

Everyone has something they enjoy, be it a bit of choc, a nice bubble bath with luxury smellies, or a glass of wine or preferably all 3 at the same time and I just don't think it's fair to say that if you enjoy something, that you rely on it, or that there is something wrong with it.

WhatGoodIsThis · 08/06/2011 13:53

oops, should have read the thread more closely.

Morloth has already said what i wanted to say, and eloquently too.

TheBigJessie · 08/06/2011 15:00

jesuswhatnext

I'm really pleased that you have such good friends.

I think a lot of it has to do with what circles you keep. You obviously have good taste in friends. Unfortunately for me, the main source of aggravation regarding not drinking is my FIL. I'm stuck with him. Grin

megapixels · 08/06/2011 15:14

I'm always a bit suspicious of people who don't drink at all - they must be doing something else I reckon

You're right though, I do something else in the time that I could be drinking. 100% of the time it is something healthier.

JamieAgain · 08/06/2011 18:02

I agree with Maryz.

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