to think that if a man said"I can't drive on motorways" or"I never answer the door if I'm home alone" or "I don' t know where the trip switch is" or "I can't update the operating system on my computer

[seeker]

... or any other basic life skill people would point and laugh?

So why doesn't the same apply to women? Why are women still expected and encouraged to being pathetic, and applauded when they are?

And why are women who aren't often regarded with suspicion?

OP-re that some people don´t always answer the door-let it go!

Add message | Report | Message poster Laquitar Mon 06-Jun-11 12:54:01
Personally i think that everybody -man or woman- should live on his/her own for at least a couple of years. Some people have never lived on their own.

I would love to live alone. But when i left home i moved into a shared house as renting a flat was too expensive. Then met dh. Then saddled with noisy kids. Now dd who will never leave home.
Argh
Imagine the peace and quiet.....

Theres loads of men that cant do those things and openly admit it. I know men with fears of spiders, moths, driving at night etc. Its no big deal everyone is scared of something.

Also about the vast majority of older people (50+) that I know cant even turn a computer on or send a text message there is no way they could update an operating system!

Oh, bloody hell - older people 50+!.

I will return to my knitting and leave the field open to people who are young enough to be allowed an opinion!

What about things you can do but can't be arsed because they are hassley you don't enjoy them and someone else will do it. Surely you aren't all martyrs?

It's Gransnet for you, seeker!

(Don't forget to take your knitting)

I have a Masters degree, I am an accomplished artist, dancer, athlete (coulda been a contenderrrrr ). I work full-time, study, am a published writer, volunteer with serious and persistent young offenders, am politically active. I bring up two kids, including one with SN, with a cheerful outlook and a can-do attitude. I am physically fit. I can play the piano. I can put up a tent. I can decorate a whole house in the summer holidays.

Would I be 'stronger' or more of a feminist if I added motorway driving and shelf-fixing to that list? Fuck off would I.

Weak / pathetic my arse. I just don't like driving on the motorway and would rather pay someone handsomely than ever waste a single moment of my life looking at a furniture self assembly instruction manual.

Zumba exactly! I was told to accentuate the positive too. Can I change a typre? Nope. Can I do a million other things that a lot of people can't? yep.

There are a tiny, tiny percentage of women who play the Little Me card but its such a tiny percentage that I think the OP is tarring loads of us with the same brush.

There are enough forces in the world trying to make women feel inadequate about themselves. I didn't realise we'd turn on each other in this way!

The point is not whether you choose not to drive on a motorway or prefer not to or don;t like doing it or would rather pay someone to do it - the point is whether or not if you had to, you would.

Orr would you, like an acquaintance of mine, simperingly insisingt that someone else, at great personal inconvenience, drive her and her car home "because I don;t drive on the motorway"

Dispite the fact that she has been driving for years and driving loads of miles every year on country roads and A roads.

What I find objectionable about your friend seeker, is that she inconvenienced someone instead of finding a solution. That's just rude!

The day I killed a zoo sized house 8 legged thingy in front of my DS was the day I knew I wasn't pathetic. I have a phobia the size of a planet but I just had to grow a pair and get the hoover out. Can't drive, can't rewire a plug, but I can overcome a fear when I have to.

That was my motorway, that was my Kilimanjaro.

(when I said "grow a pair" I would like to add that I am NOT perpetuating a gender stereoytpe and implying that I had to become like a man in order to be brave!)

I would like my children to have as many practical skills as possible. Whether they use them or not later in life, i dont care. If they make lots of money and they pay people to fix something or to iron a shirt thats ok. But they will still know how to iron a shirt, it wont be a mystery to them.

It is any degree of simpering and 'little me' pleading that is the problem, not the actual task.

And as for over 50s not being able to turn on a computer, don't be so silly. Someone now 55 has been using computers for the majority of their working life. And longer than a 25 year old.

"Someone now 55 has been using computers for the majority of their working life."

That rather depends on their job, doesn't it? My mum is not yet 50 and has only very recently had to deal with computer. My dad chooses to use computers at home but has never had to use one at work.

Maybe a little Douglas Adams would come in handy here :)

1. everything that?s already in the world when you?re born is just normal;

2. anything that gets invented between then and before you turn thirty is incredibly exciting and creative and with any luck you can make a career out of it;

3. anything that gets invented after you?re thirty is against the natural order of things and the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it until it?s been around for about ten years when it gradually turns out to be alright really.

EmmaBemma, for me, driving on a motorway is a basic life skill. I would not be able to do my job or visit my family if I couldn't / wouldn't so for me it is

I am crap at anything DIYish and, partly because I find it boring, prefer not to do it. Since being a SP though, I have had to get on with it if DP is working away

I do think a lot of women, sadly, underestimated their abilities (maybe conditioned to?) I've just taken the kids away for a week and about 10 women said to me "Oo you're brave taking the kids on a plane yourself" - why? The only problem was 3 cases and only one adult being a logistical nightmare :o

Who, who, are these Very Old Ladies of - gasp - 50 or thereabouts who never use computers?

Blu - I was talking about the over 50s I know, which I wrote in the original message

I'm not saying that anyone over 50 is old, simply that they could easily be unfamiliar with computers if they have not been actively persuaded that being familiar with computers is good.

But in what parallel universe are you living where you've not had to be dealing with computers? They've been a bit of a, you know, workplace standard for the past two decades. Even when I was under 30 I had to use computers.

Disclaimer: I do not work in computing. Actually I am bit of a simpering Luddite.

You could work behind a bar or in a shop (tills are not computers) or you could build things or be an artist or make things out of wood or metal or plastic or be a teaching assistant or dinner lady or look after elderly people or drive buses or vans or trucks or lorries or be a cleaner or a gardener or teach paragliding or be a driving instructor or be a binman(person) or you could be in a factory putting the cherries on top of bakewell tarts...

Hang on - remind me how old Steve Jobs is?

And that is why I disagree that "Someone now 55 has been using computers for the majority of their working life.""

Someone now 25 could easily have a job where they do not use a computer, so there is no reason why someone now 55 should necessarily use one at all, let alone most of their working life.

But surely you'd have to have to deal with them at home/kids? I can't find the age profile of computer users in the UK at the moment, but I suspect you'd have to be looking a good decade or so over 50 to find a large number of people who're not familiar with them.

I open the door - (I live alone - who else is going to do it?)

but I don't drive on motorways. That said, I fully accept this is completely and utterly pathetic on my part and I shuold really just man the fuck up and deal with it.