to think that if a man said"I can't drive on motorways" or"I never answer the door if I'm home alone" or "I don' t know where the trip switch is" or "I can't update the operating system on my computer

[seeker]

... or any other basic life skill people would point and laugh?

So why doesn't the same apply to women? Why are women still expected and encouraged to being pathetic, and applauded when they are?

And why are women who aren't often regarded with suspicion?

Why are people saying this is a feminist OP?

Singling out women as being pathetic when they can't or won't do traditionally male stuff, while not having a word to say about men who can't or won't do traditionally female stuff is about as un-feminist as you can get

I do see what you mean, Seeker (although I am racking my brains as to the trip switch, and I absolutely loathe driving on motorways); but think the infantilising of men, which works to men's advantage and in which a lot of us collude, is far worse. Because day to day, cooking and housework and childcare are the wearing stuff, IMO.

And if that's what i was saying, sardinequeen, i would agree with you. But I'm not.

never mind feminism
its just WET to not do these things

which is A Bad Thing

So what are you saying seeker? Your op talks about women who can't do stuff being pathetic.

Yup

I haven't quite recovered from seeing Seeker described as 'invading' (how many years has she been here?) or 'half educated'. But I will pull myself together (a v valuable life skill of mine) and join the thread.

I am often astounded by posts on MN which go something like 'oh I do all the cooking and cleaning and childcare, but he puts the bins out and gets the cars seen to' as an equal share of household duties. Right - so that's bins out once a week (once a fortnight since the cuts), and car seen to a couple of times a year? I wouldn't necessarily categorise Seeker's fairly random selection of tasks as gender specific, that will vary in different households and generations) but I think it's still often true that routine tasks habitually done by men are seen as somehow more onerous, difficult, dangerous, technical or valuable than routine tasks done by women.

I think a lot of women are brought up to be fearful and believe they cannot do certain things, have had their cnfidence undermined, whilst some men have been brought up to think they can do anybloodything, even when they can't.

My Mum (now 80) has been a sahm (nee 'housewife') for most of her life, before we grew up, traditional in every way in division of labour - but she always drove on motorways - I never grew up thinking that it was remotely dangerous, nor heard of any reported attacks! I find motorways more dangerous now that they are so much more crowded, so many drivers of big huge cars right on your tail harrassing you to pull into a tiny gap so that they can proceed at 110mph, etc etc! But I do it...partly because DP can't drive!

How many MN-ers always share the driving equally with their dp/dh?

Pharoah - yes, 'wet' is a good description - I find myself as exasperated at women (and men) being wet as I do at men (and women) being macho.

But I have to exclude any computer related tasks from the definition of wet

lol gavel

Agree with Blu.

There are still very traditional roles being played out and this assumption that if you are a woman you are incapable of certain things. I remember when we had a power cut, I was using the laptop plugged into a plug board at the time and I thought that perhaps the fuse had gone, so I changed the fuse, still didn't work and only then did it occur to me to check the other electrics! I went round to next door to ask if they were off too, they were and when they heard I had changed the fuse they acted proper surprised, almost as if I said I'd changed the car engine!

The majority of people on the school run are mothers. Women may have full time jobs but it is largely them who run the kids back and forth from school and it is them who the schools ring when the kids are ill.

We may be striving for more equality but we need to do more for attitude to change. And I'm as guilty as the next person as my dh does the majority of driving and I'm happy to sit back and let him!

The 'he always takes the bins out' winds me up. I don't know why.

What is the 'trip switch' ??

why are there so many threads like this at the moment?

Laquitar - it's in your electric box. If you are about to be frazzled by a dodgy iron then your electrics will flip the trip switch to turn everything off. You have to go into your electrics (probably in your kitchen or hall) and find the big, usually red, switch that says 'main switch' to turn it back on.

Rhubarb0, thank you.

I can't hoover

Laquitar: the trip switch is a fuse in your electrical fusebox. There will be one for each circuit in your house - e.g 'downstairs lights' 'upstairs plug sockets'. If any one circuit gets over loaded, that fuse will pop out (or 'trip'). You can usually switch it back again and all will be OK. Or lese it will trip again whihc means you may have to unplug something (loads of electric heaters on at the same time ) are a typical cause, or get the wiring checked.

sorry - x-posted with Rhubarb.

People who can't drive in all situations should have their licenses revoked
If you can't drive at night
Parallel park
Park
Drive on motorways
Check a blindspot you should have your license taken away

Oh, that switch. Ahem.

I do not share driving equally. Blu, you have met Mr Inferior, who is one of four brothers obsessed by cars. Motorway driving with him tutting next to me brings out the Valerie Solanas in me .

i think i agree. although if oyu arent going to drive at night it might not matter

christ almighty i'll come out and say it I DON'T LIKE DRIVING ON MOTORWAYS

you're in a metal box travelling at a high speed you are surrounded by a load of other metal boxes travelling at similarly high speeds, it only takes a second for something REALLY bad to happen and smash you and all your loved ones to bits

really, why would i enjoy that?

Thank you too Blu

I have put up an Ikea wardrobe and bedside cabinet all by myself (preen) and I've painted all of our new house and put up a curtain rail, which dh took down and then put up again "properly"

He does most of the DIY jobs because he's good (ish) at it, which is why we are currently pissing in a bucket because the toilet he started on this last weekend is not plumbed in yet (wrong type of pipe, apparently).

I can change a plug however, I manage the finances and pay the bills and when we moved in there was just me and him lugging heavy furniture into the house. So I'd say that he treats me as equal pretty much. No wusses here!

I do fully accept that I am pathetic about driving, actually. But living with car obsessives doesn't help.

And I do think it is even wetter to say 'oh my poor penis-holder cannot cope with such things as the washing machine or the cooker' or 'just isn't very good with children'...

Motorways are safer than the country roads round here and you are all going in the same direction.
Night driving is easier because you can see the car headlights coming before you see the car, which is handy on corners and at junctions.
The only time I will refuse to drive is in icy conditions because when we lived in France I was taking the kids to school and as I tried to brake our van just kept on going, sliding down the hill and towards the brick wall at the bottom as other drivers looked on. Luckily the handbrake swung us round facing the other way and stopped us, but it's left me a bit wussyish of driving in ice now.