to think that if a man said"I can't drive on motorways" or"I never answer the door if I'm home alone" or "I don' t know where the trip switch is" or "I can't update the operating system on my computer

[seeker]

... or any other basic life skill people would point and laugh?

So why doesn't the same apply to women? Why are women still expected and encouraged to being pathetic, and applauded when they are?

And why are women who aren't often regarded with suspicion?

I know a couple of men who don't do those things. I don't point and laugh.

It's cos of patriarchy, innit.

Sorry seeker in my world woman are not pathetic where you got that useless info from fuck knows

I'm sure there are plenty of men who can't/won't do those things.

My dh is rubbish at anything DIY for example.

no, I would point and laugh if a woman said any of these things to me.

Although I'm not sure if updating your computer is a life skill...

katvond - I agree with that, I don't know any pathetic women.

is it feminism for dummies weekend or something on MN?

I do when women say this sort of thing as I just don't understand it.

But dh tells me that apparently some men like women to be all dependant on them.

If a woman was to say those things, I would wonder why she was so pathetic actually.

I agree Seeker. I'm always amazed at the number of posts from women who wont let in meter readers even though they have I.D etc.

If I had a daughter i'd like her to grow up independant and not be afraid to live alone or change a plug.

I don't know any pathetic women either. Although I know a very pathetic man.....

My husband doesn't drive at all.

I don't know if he knows where the the trip switch is. Trip switch for what, exactly?

I do all the computer maintenance.

He does answer the door. But so do I.

What, exactly, is your point?

That he's less of a man or I'm more of a woman? That it makes one iota of difference either way?

When are we going to stop judging each other and start supporting each other, no matter what we can or cannot do?

totally agree OP.

The idea of women as dependent appeals to many, both those who like to be in charge, and the women themselves who choose to be dependent.
My mother taught me a lot of 'man-skills' because my father was in the forces and often posted elsewhere unaccompanied. 9 months is a long time to sit in the dark, or wait for 'someone else' to do a simple job.

sorry seeker but i dont know any woman who was applaueded for not knowing where the trip switch is in her house.

and i know quite a few men who dont own any tools of any sort. all sewing in my house was given to my father. my mother just couldn't get the hang of it. neither was applauded for it.

Pah, I've told Mummy Dearest she's being a bit soft when she refuses to drive on motorways. How she would cope sans Dad is beyond me.

I can safely say that, although I can't drive, I can do, and DO do, all of those things in the OP. Hell, last week, I even went outside on my own...

I agree wholeheartedly, there have been a number of posts today that have challenged gender stereotypes and this is to be encouraged. To try to be fair through gritted teeth there are some examples that apply in reverse, such as, men who can't operate the washing machine, cooker, change nappies, remember birthdays, etc.

It is a mystery why some people feel so threatened by competent, capable women.

Perhaps because women don't have to put on a 'macho' front they can be honest.

Who decided what constitutes being pathetic?

When did driving on a motorway become compulsory or even a 'basic life skill'? Humans all over the world are surviving without mastering it.

I agree with the not driving on motorways being pathetic but the answering the door thing, I'm not so sure about. I wouldn't chide a woman for feeling uneasy answering the door at night if she were alone. We can be equal to men in most things but I'm afraid that in most cases, stature and strength isn't one of those things. Most men can overpower most women.

There is so much woman bashing on here at the moment it's making me

Some women can't drive, so what!

I can't update the OS on my phone my DH does it but if we need something fixing or building or planning it's usually me that does it.

DH manages the money because he's better at it than I am.. I am better at the gardening, cooking and so I do it.. He is better at the ironing and organising the kids lunch boxes and doing school runs. I'm a whizz at decorating.

In life people have strengths and weaknesses, equality is letting people do what they want to without prejustice.

Calling woman pathetic because they cant drive is PATHETIC.

My dh doesn't even know how to switch the central heating on. Which became apparent when I was on the point of giving birth at home to my DD in November and the midwife told him to go and turn on the heating. Cue a 5 minute absence, sheepish return and having to ask me which button to press...didn't go down well as I was in transition.

And yes I laughed and pointed afterwards.

But generally I agree with your point

The home alone thing - women are, physically, more vulnerable. And of course that's not right or fair but they still are. That's self-preservation, not laughable (although I always answer the door).

The others - you have to remember it's only the generation of my ILs (mid-70s) where, for example, many women have never written a cheque or done any DIY or been expected to have a job or any of that stuff. It's not really all that long ago that that attitude was the norm - we haven't come far enough, but we have come a long way quite quickly, and we've changed an attitude that was entrenched since time began. So of course there are still going to be throwbacks - there's still going to be that instinctive "I can't do that" approach. We need a couple more generations for it to vanish completely.

is it feminism for dummies weekend or something on MN?

I suspect it is, TFO...

skiving I've never met anyone who was threatened by competent women.

Dh has several male colleagues who won't drive at all.

Me, I find it more pathetic when somebody who clearly shouldn't be driving on motorways, or indeed anywhere at all, insists that they simply can't cope without it so keep burying their head in the sand about obvious physical facts.

Like dd's taxi driver, who only got taken off the job after he had rammed the school gates 4 times and then gone straight into the head teacher's car.

Not sure I am over-impressed by the previous owner of db's house who thought he could do DIY and electrics either.

I think it's cleverer to recognise your limitations.