to think that asking a visitor to take of their shoes in my house, is an OK thing to do

[fluffybutt]

I don't have many rules at home, just shoes on if outside and off if you are inside. Just had a friend and her DCs over, and asked them if they would mind taking their shoes off - well apparently thats really rude and made my visitors feel uncomfortable. FFS, it's not like I asked them to walk through an antiseptic food bath or anything.

Yar, the country houses I've stayed in have been VERY relaxed, with people not giving a toss about sitting in piles of dog hair, never mind panicking about their carpets. (I'm not posh myself btw, just seem to have haphazardly accumulated some posh pals).

I actually don't think I could bring myself to ask - it would feel so rude!

I don't enjoy visiting if we have to be on constant tenderhooks about the carpet!

YANBU we, our children and their friends always took their shoes off when little and still do a few years ago we got new carpets a sandy colour [DH's choice] my brother visited not long after with his girls now his house is a tip and he doesn't care, but he and his girls just walked in before I got a chance to say anything they left dirty footprints all over it.We are getting wood flooring this year saves the hassle.

I think it stems from the days when people had a parlour that they sat in on Sundays, high days and holidays.

"I am a good, attentive, generous host", how is that compatabile with making your guests feel uncomfortable?

iv just had a new carpet fitted in my living room and to get to the kitchen from front door so yes i ask people to remove their shoes. Why not, its my house, my rules, if people dont like it they can stand in the little hall.

unfitmother - I didn't know I was making my guest feel uncomfortable, it was only my wellie boot wearing visitor that mentioned it yesterday. As far as I am aware all my other guests are fine with it. Like I say it had never crossed my mind until yesterday.

I don't understand why some people feel uncomfortable without shoes. Just don't get it. It's normal in lots of countries where they find the idea of shoes in the house disgusting.

Its a class thing.

God - I hate 'my house my rules'.

Its not only a class thing. Its a cultural thing in some instances

...and let's face it, Rupert Campbell Black's wife is going to know about class. It is common isn't it, Mrs Rupert?

Cultural reasons aside - its a class thing.

It is common - Jilly would definitely say so

"I don't understand why some people feel uncomfortable without shoes. Just don't get it. It's normal in lots of countries where they find the idea of shoes in the house disgusting." But surely the reverse is true here so what's not to get? - "I don't understand why some people feel comfortable without shoes. Just don't get it. It's normal in lots of countries where they don't find the idea of shoes in the house disgusting."

I thought so. Alongside such things as using faux shot-silk table runners at dinner parties. I knew I was right

Oh well, I am common. I can live with that.

I do understand why people do like shoes off but for me I wouldn't have carpets downstairs especially not light coloured ones as would rather floors easy to keep clean and people feel welcome.

But as with many things - different courses etc.

Oh you know what I mean - horses for courses or some such thing.

Wow, I've learned a lot from this thread. Mostly that some people are incredibly intolerant, and I suspect if they're as intolerant about taking their shoes off ("I'm offended if someone offers to take off their shoes" ) - they're probably intolerant about lots of other things.

A polite person would never walk into someone else's house wearing shoes when it's clearly not the done thing in that home. It's so rude. It's common enough that you really should be prepared if visiting for the first time. Wear posh socks if it makes you feel better/ keeps your verucas off their floor.

Also, if it's clear that your host wears their shoes inside, don't take yours off, whatever you do in your own home.

Just. Do. What. Your. Host. Does.

Not that common then, don't need faux shot silk table runners, when eating dinner in front of TV :o

shoes are a part of my outfit. I wouldnt remove my top or trousers or underwear, so why would i remove my shoes? I think being asked to do so is incredibly rude and have never bothered going back to the houses where people have made me do this.

that said, i wont bring muddy shoes into the house and will either remove them if feasible, or just not go inside.

as for people who think the carpet thye have is more important than their guests, well, go ahead and enjoy it, but it will be without my company.

In that case OP I suppose the answer to your original post is YANBU. if you know it's common, but you don't mind being common, then ask away :)

a well bred person would surely sooner die than betray their reluctance to do as they're told asked, so everyone's happy.

LOL at Fluffy.

I think for a lot of people it just doesn't occur to take shoes off to be honest.

But I bet if it were a dinner party or whatever you wouldn't expect people to take their shoes off would you?

Funny
I attended finishing school in the early 80's and the shoes issue was never discussed.
Must complain to that school.