to think that asking a visitor to take of their shoes in my house, is an OK thing to do

[fluffybutt]

I don't have many rules at home, just shoes on if outside and off if you are inside. Just had a friend and her DCs over, and asked them if they would mind taking their shoes off - well apparently thats really rude and made my visitors feel uncomfortable. FFS, it's not like I asked them to walk through an antiseptic food bath or anything.

I've always thought it was rather....well...common

Wouldn't refuse though as my feet are the only small and cute thing about me

Strtangerintheday what a lovely attitude - some bloke with a foot odour problem didn't want to take his shoes off, you insist, and then spend the evening hating the smell. Bet he's glad he's not been back either.

I love the idea of just breezily saying "No, actually, I won't take my shoes off as I find that uncomfortable"

If that is so Blooferlady, Hello my name is Fluffybutt and I am very common :)

I am in the camp of finding it a bit unwelcoming, bossy and overbearing. Why have light coloured carpets that stain easily or fragile floor surfaces in your hallway and reception room anyway? If you want to welcome guests? Its called a reception room for a reason - its where you recieve your guests! I can't imagine being asked to take off my shoes at a large, formal dinner and have never been asked to do so in a proper country house, so it seems a little pretentious and showing offy - "oh, look at me, I'm so clever, I've got such a smart house that you have to take your shoes off to walk on the carpets".

Its also rude because people select their outfit to wear when you invite them - asking them to remove part of it is bizarre.

There is something revolting about wearing shoes in a house IMO

I have never had anybody question my request and I wasn't aware some may take such an offence.

I never question it-wouldn't take offence, but I hate it! I have to at my brother's house and after walking over their stone floor I spend the time rubbing my feet to get them warm, and trying not to let them see.

Luckily in RL they are the only people the rest assume that I would take them off if dirty.

There is only one thing worse than asking them to take them off-and that is giving 'house' slippers-utterly vile-DON'T.

I can stand bare feet (although why anyone wants my bare feet I don't know) but I can't stand someone else's slippers.

:)

I think a bit of being common is essential to a well-rounded character. I for instance have just eaten four Dairylea cheese triangles and celebrated their calcium deliciousness with a giant belch.

On the shoe thing - I had a pal growing up whose parents, looking back, were hilariously prim about their home. They had had a piano for several years, and the pedals were still carefully wrapped in plastic despite both their children playing. They had a special living room you couldn't go in unless it was Christmas, or someone had died. Appearances were tres important - you know, you can judge someone's moral fibre by the gleaminess of their nets. The shoe-off rule always makes me think of them, somehow . I do realise that's a bit of a leap!!

It would be a waste of time buying nice shoes-all you need is walking shoes or wellies if you have to take them off. I can't imagine dressing for dinner and you all sitting around in bare feet or socks.

I think its rude to ask but also rude for the guest not to offer to remove them.

nijinsky, I have never been to a proper country house, so can't comment on that one. I have been to a couple of formal dinners, mainly in hotels, restaurants etc. Public places, not someones home. I really don't think I have a smart house, or that I am clever, or that I am showing off. I just don't want outside dirt on my carpets where we like to play, lay or whatever, it just isn't nice for me and my family.

igggi i bet he threw away his old smelly shoes full of fungi, went to chiropodist to treat whatever he had and started changing his socks daily. about time too.

Terribly common IMO - very Hyacinth Buckett.

The rules are slightly different if it is a formal dinner or entertainment evening. If its just a visit, offering is polite. Its the custom in sweden and also the norm where Im from

I think I am swedish, that sounds about right to me Whiteglove :)

One of my favourite pairs of shoes has awkward buckles, being of ample proportions means that getting in and out of them is (preferably) not a public activity
Part of my work is delivering goods into people's homes. After carrying a heavy box through to wherever they want it, I have sometimes wondered on exiting whether I should have offered to remove footwear (again, that would involve faff, I'd be wearing lace up boots for working, practicality and health and safety reasons.)
I wouldn't go into someone's home with muddy footwear, common sense would prevail but for those who prefer a no-shoes-indoors policy, how do you deal with the above situations and other visitors who may be in an official capacity, like a health visitor or police officer?
I'm not trying to be difficult, really would like to know, so your answers are appreciated and will take them on board.
Our household has lots of doormats outside the door and in the hallways, but personally I am with the shoes-on lot unless they are obviously dirty.

Why would I offer? I think that people are more important than floors. If they are muddy of course I say so and take them off. If I have clean dry summer sandals I think they are much better than my sweaty feet -and if I have dressed up to go out they have most likely done my drive to the car.

I get annoyed with people who offer at my house and then insist when I say 'please keepthem on'.

I think that you have to go with what people ask-you can't mind read whether they are good hosts or a Hyacinth Bucket -houseproud above all else!

In Sweden its also the custom to have wooden floors where shoes go clacekty clack. And a lot of small houses/apartments, except summer houses, which funnily enough tend to be used in the warmer months when taking your shoes off might not be so bad.

I find myself not wanting to go back to a house when asked to remove my shoes.

I went for lunch in a very large country house a few weeks ago. After riding. I asked if they wanted me to change - answer no, not at all, remain comfortable. We all sat down for an otherwise formal lunch in riding gear, boots and all, walking over some quite valuable carpets on the way. Absolutely charming and made me feel so at ease and welcome in what could have been quite intimidating surroundings.

That's a point. Do you/would you ask police or meter readers to remove their lace-ups?

Stranger, I see now you were performing a public health service!
Being a Sunday, how about this - aibu that my hosts who ask me to take my shoes off, do not offer me a bowl to wash my feet in?

Stranger, I see now you were performing a public health service!
Being a Sunday, how about this - aibu that my hosts who ask me to take my shoes off, do not offer me a bowl to wash my feet in?

nijinsky I have wooden floors that go clickety clack lol

We're a shoes off house. We love in a mixed area and it's the same rule for half the street. All DS's teen mates assume it's the norm. It's nothing to do with the look of my floors I just don't want the dog muck from the street in my home.

I don't think its fair to assume that if someone doesn't like shoes on indoors, that they are a bad host. Like I said earlier, If I was a sophisticated grown up who held dinner parties, of course I wouldn't ask you to take off your Jimmy Choos. But I am not, my lifestyle is more, impromptu take away and bottle of wine or 2. But either way I am a good, attentive, generous host, and certainly no Hyacinth.