to think that asking a visitor to take of their shoes in my house, is an OK thing to do

[fluffybutt]

I don't have many rules at home, just shoes on if outside and off if you are inside. Just had a friend and her DCs over, and asked them if they would mind taking their shoes off - well apparently thats really rude and made my visitors feel uncomfortable. FFS, it's not like I asked them to walk through an antiseptic food bath or anything.

I think the idea of a party with all the guests in bare feet is ridiculous

I suspect the whole class suggestion stems from the fact that anyone who was wearing soiled or working boots was likely to use the workman's or back entrance anyway. Other, non working, visitors would have been door to door and less likely to have dirty shoes, so no need to ask. Even coming in from a walk or a ride would suggest a different entrance to the house.
These days I suppose those rules dont apply.

I'm going to the usual's party - we can wear shoes, smoke (maybe even cannabis), drink as much as we want.

Yes, expat, most have (in fairness, some haven't...). My point being that you shouldn't put your host in a position where they feel they have to ask. A guest should ask or simply notice what is the done thing in that home.

These threads turn up once a month at least once a month and I doubt whether a single person has changed their mind. I think people might get like someone I know who doesn't let their grandchildren past the kitchen!!
(when they are grown up she might realise that she doesn't have a good relationship-but nevermind-her carpets are clean!)

I think downstairs carpets are common...but thats me now getting my coat

A guest should ask or simply notice what is the done thing in that home.

I would just assume that they were getting comfortable in their own home-not that I was supposed to copy. If people want shoes off they need to ask.

All round to mine expat

I can imagine that half my drunken guests would go home in the wrong shoes if I insisted they took them off

I just really really could not imagine being at a party wearing a lovely dress and good shoes and having to take my shoes off - I would really think the hosts were bonkers in that scenario.

Bloofer - no, I haven't made an error, you've got lost in my post. I meant the difference between classy and being from a particular social class. And of course one can be very rich and still be working class, or be upper class and still be very poor.
I just think that if someone is extremely bothered about being asked to take their shoes off, then that person has to ask whether they really value their host's friendship or do they feel the world resolves around them and their preferences all the time. I would take off my shoes if someone had cheap (but clean) floors that they wanted to keep clean. Or if my host expected people to keep their shoes on even on a very hot day, I would do it too. There are bigger things to worry about!
By the way, it is very rare to get veruccas from dry floors. You get it more from wet floors and being in close skin contact with someone who has the wart/verucca virus. Again, if anyone's worried about catching anything from taking their shoes off, wear socks....who is so cruel as to make their friends do more hoovering/mopping because they are too lazy to wear socks?! (even if they have a cleaner - well, the cleaner could be doing other chores in the house too).
Re: the dinner party issue - it's so funny, but the things people worry about! People took their shoes off at the dinner parties I mentioned earlier and had a great time, because they were there for the company, nobody cared what outfit or shoes people did or didn't have on!

I have not exactly changed my view, I have however been very enlightened and am now of the opinion that if a guest thinks my house rule is rude or common , then we probably wouldn't have got on that well anyway. I also don't allow people to smoke in my house,(you can smoke outside, like I do), so if this means that I am a common Hyacinth Bucket , so be it. This is me, I respect other peoples wishes and would expect others to do the same for me. If you told me to keep my shoes on, I would, I might think it a tad strange, but I certainly wouldn't be offended.

Shoes on at dinner party - how on earth do play Twister in heels?? :o

Euuuuuurrrrgh. I'm very definitely of the believe that germs are good but to wear shoes in a house full of carpets that cant just be wiped clean? Minging. I seriously can't see how anyone could possibly be offended by taking their shoes off? Surely the first thing that most people do when they get home is take their shoes off because it's more comfortable that way? How does that differ at other peoples houses?

I've always thought it must be lovely to live in a country where people automatically remove thier shoes indoors. It's the thought of all those disgusting germs rather than damage to the carpets. Still most of my friends are shoe removers The rest I just grit my teeth and bear it. Mustn't make people feel unwelcome

I am just surprised at how easily some of you are offended... you would REALLY be offended if someone preferred shoes off?! Why? You have walked about outside, the shoes are dirty. It's not personal. Very weird.

No its much better to seeth inwardly at their filthy shoes on your carpet :o

I woudl not be offended at all. we dont ask guest to do this, probably because we have wooden floors downstairs. but i knwo that lots of other people do

in fact when i visit soemones house, if i see shoes lined up at the door i always ask if they woudl like us to take ours off. as other have said, its done in many countries. i dont see it as unwelcoming at all. its their home. its no big deal

Euuuuuurrrrgh. I'm very definitely of the believe that germs are good but to wear shoes in a house full of carpets that cant just be wiped clean?

Do you never visit hotels?

I would love it if people just took their shoes off on arrival at ours (although I wouldn't ask them to). I do have a shoe stand and I hope people get the hint!! - most do!!

We are a no shoes house and I understand how you feel. The fact is that if someone comes in with heels - it damages my wooden floor. Having said that I usually just hope people will just see the shoes in the hall...... I am never brave enough to ask

Most people automatically ask whether to take shoes off when they come to mine because if the big pile of shoes by the door. If not I grit my teeth....

I keep all our shoes on a rack just inside the lobby, but not inside the actual house and most people pick up on it and remove their shoes before I've even opened the door!
I wouldn't ever ask anyone though, I'd prefer it if they took them off, but it's not a huge deal, I've got a hoover and a mop.
(wooden floors so haven't got to worry about nasties being trodden into carpet)

As someone with a not-so-pretty foot I agree with this

What is acceptable changes with time. It used to be 'odd' or Mrs Bucket style to ask someone go go outside to smoke. It would be considered rude to insist on that in someone's home now.

In the 1960s, a weekly bath was the norm for many and an avocado was unheard of unless it was the bathroom.

said 'here' includes many cultures, not just that of the typical white English country village where we all believe muck is good for you

I predict in 10 years time it will be less unacceptable to traipse shit and vomit from an urban street into someone's home. Just like it is already for half of my neighbours.

ewww, glad I live somewhere that I don't have to worry about shit and vomit to that extent.