aibu to ask what you really think of nurseries and their staff

[questioningmouse]

honestly

There's also a big difference imo between a child going to nursery 50 hours a week (which isn't very common) and a child going 20-30 hours a week.

Spending the majority of your waking hours in a place with constant activity and stimulation is too stressful for a young child I believe. Even as an adult working 40 hours a week in a nursery is exhausting, and some babies put in longer hours than the staff.

Bonsoir most children in nursery get part of the time at nursery with friends, lots of activities, trips out etc. We go to the beach,woods, library,shops, patk, theatre with our children at nursery.

On top of that they go to lots of places outside of nursery hours as it is rare to have children in for very long hours ime.

Rita - but the babies are allowed to sleep as much as they want during these hours, at least at my daughter's nursery

Yes, but it's still a very busy, stimulating environment.

Not if you are in a large place with lots of quiet sleeping rooms Rita. Also we have sensory rooms with lights, lullabys and lava lamps for quiet reading/relaxing. We never have tv, loads of trips out, 3 home cooked meals, all nappies provided for 30 pound.

Most people get it through tax credits and I think its fantastic I personally feel lucky to work there as I know I couldnt provide such a vast range of things if I was at home. I am very lucky I get to see it all, and get it all for free.

Sorry ilovedora, but however great your nursery is it is still busy and stimulating, and I believe that is stressful for a young child to experience for long hours. Some things can be done to mitigate that (small groups of under 8 children, high adult:child ratios, large amounts of floor space per child, quiet areas and unrestricted access to sleeping spaces) but it is still a lot for a child to cope with for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week.

I find it unbelievable that anyone can 'tell' someone else what the nursery they use/ work in, is like. How on earth can anyone make specific judgements about a set up they have no experience of? The arrogance is mind blowing!

I have worked in loads of nurseries for years and have never ever met a child who does 50 hours in nursery. The vast majority do about 25-30 hours at max. I do think it makes children more confident, social and happy to be in that kind of environment.

It definitely has for my daughter but I do realise it is like that for her as I am with her all the time. However we always have shy, quiet children come in and they come out of their shells and the parents always comment.

Well, if you believe that it's better for a baby to be not stimulated, that's your opinion. My daughter spent the first couple of months of her nursery career in a MeiTai carried by one of the nurses. Can't see how that would have been more difficult to cope with than being carried by me or her dad in a MeiTai.

(she did 50 hours before my mat leave, and will do it again when I freturn to work, so will her sister)

My eldest went to a very good one and I think the reasons it was good were...highly qualified mature staff (youngest was about 35) with their own children, only took children from 18 months, had keyworkers, had a maximum of about 30 children. I am not saying a nursery has to have all these things but I think having these things makes it more likely that care will be good.

I know 2 people who don't really like kids who went into childcare and one even faked their portfolio (ie. said they did a 6 month study which they didn't). I would not want these looking after my kids!!! I also hear them talking about they feel sorry for the 'little babies' in their care for 40 hours a week, this attitude seems fairly common from what i hear.

I think alot of nurseries are more about profit than care, like most things in our society. It's underpaid and undervalued. Probably, in part, as children and dependants don't make money so are not 'important' as with old people and stay home mums for example.

I didn't use nurseries with my last 4 DC and am glad i didn't have to. I think some kids can like them and some hate them. I think there is a danger to very young babies being there in excess of 40 hours a week. it just seems a shame to me, that is through doing it myself with DD1.

What danger do you think this may be jellybean if we are talking about a good nursery with low staff turnover etc etc? I think you need to elaborate.

Yes of course, it is my opinion, from working in nurseries and studying a little about this area.

Not sure if that is aimed at me lynehamrose, but I was commenting on nursery care in general - all nurseries share some basic features, although obviously the details vary greatly.

ilovedora - every nursery I have worked in has had at least a couple of fulltimers, although I agree they are in the minority.

There's research to back up every POV whether it be nursery or home care. A child stuck at home with a boring TV watching parent is as poorly off as the child in care 50 hours a week. It's about balance. My children have diverse activities at home and are certainly not shy.

It does all depend on your nursery I think. I know the care at our nursery is brilliant, and often significantly better than the care the child has recieved at home. If you have had good experiences of nurseries you will like them, and if you havent you wont. Its hard to say overall as the standard is so different.

I agree with jellybeans that staff often feel sorry for the little babies doing long hours, but the flipside of that is that they feel most attached and protective towards the fulltimers, so there is a positive in that too.

Rita - you comment on the nursery ilovedora works in- not about nurseries generally. And I think we've all agreed , generalisations are worthless because its as pointless as saying 'some parents are rubbish'

I have never felt sorry for a child in my care. Its not like they are never going to see their parents again and the ones that work full time still dont have them in 8 til 6, 5 days in my experience.

As long as they are cared for by people who love to be with them, and love being around children then I dont see the problem.

I was talking about full time babies that are there 8-6, 5 days a week dora.

Unfortunately my baby who is 10 m is in 8-5, 3 days a week. Same as my DD was. The nursery is fantastic IMO but obviously I would rather the kids weren't in there quite as much. However I have no choice. I have noone to help me look after the children as all our family live miles away.

Not working is not an option as financially we cannot manage it. The solution we have is a compromise and I have to live with it.

Until they make childcare more affordable or working conditions more flexible than we will have to continue with nurseries and other childcare solutions.

Personally though, have to make the point, that I am happier DS is well cared for in a good environment 4 days pw rather than shunted around different carers every day like some kids I know - different grandparent, aunt or whatever. That in itself can be problematic and getting dragged round Asda doesn't exactly stimulate them either.

One of the nurseries we used even had a pretty little dining room with red gingham table cloths and napkins, and a cook who came in to make their dinners from fresh and so on.

The garden was lovely too, and they spent a couple of hours out there each day unless it was tipping down. The little babies used to sit in pushchairs and be rocked a bit by the carers while they watched the older children play, which they seemed to like very much.

It's closed now but we all loved it so much we are thinking of having a reunion ten years on.

Oh, and the other thing was that parents were in and out and it wasn't unusual for us to hang out in there with the carers a bit, particularly in the baby room, so we knew the carers very well and some of them are still in touch with the families, even after all this time.

nursery staff baby sit for me
have ft place.no complaints

Oh goodness, entirely depends on the nursery!
I have seen in some capacity at least a hundred nurseries over the last eight years. We've moved around, I look round whatever's local every time, I have friends who use nurseries wherever we live and so I see things.
99% of them I'd have not have used personally, and about 5% of those I would hesitate to leave my cats in (literally the cattery I use when go on holiday is nicer!). My DD goes to the 1%!! And I feel incredibly lucky and privileged that she does.
She goes PT, and didn't start until she was 14 months old. It was a massive change in opinion for me as I was looking for a nanny when I came across this particular nursery.
It's run by a woman who frankly doesn't need the money, who does it for love. It's all organic, and they grow vegetables in the garden which the children help with. They keep hens and various other animals. They employ a chef who does wonderfully old fashioned nursery meals like fried liver (!). They pay their staff more than the average, and more than any local nursery hence they never have anyone leave and can take their pick from 50 applicants per position. They even employ men as carers which is fabulous as I want my child to see positive role models from both sexes.
I turn up unannounced and find owner, manager, and carers alike engaged with the children. Reading, playing, painting, being outdoors as much as possible.
My child adores it. Absolutely adores it. She gets so many more opportunities there than she would do if I had gone down the route of a nanny, and I am so thankful I discovered it and got her name down before the waiting lists became ridiculously long!