aibu to ask what you really think of nurseries and their staff

[questioningmouse]

honestly

this is all so clichéd and inevitable.really
nursery detractors will opine about institutions and gruel for dinner
nursery users will cite appropriate sensitive ambience and great staff

I sometimes wish they did serve gruel. Then DS wouldn't say "I don't like your food mummy, I only like nursery food"...

I think the conflict about whether or not nursery staff are uneduacted or not intelligent comes down to a change in expectations and opportunity over the past few years.

I left school ten years ago. Twelve years ago I remember saying to the career teacher that I wished I wasn't academic because I wanted to work in a nursery. Neither he nor I questioned the 'fact' that me happening to be academically bright precluded that career path. In my school nursery nursing was a college course taken by (mainly) girls who didn't get the GCSE grades to enter 6th form.

Nowadays it's all very different. One of my friends is deputy head of a very well regarded infant school. She has an undergrad and postgrad degree from a top university. What class does she teach - the nursery! The idea of her being seen as uneducated or 'thick' for teaching nursery is laughable.

However, I do think it's a terrible thing to suggest that people should have A Levels to teach in nursery. Nursery teaching is still one of the few fulfilling job options for those with no qualifications and I think it should remain so - you do not need to be intelligent to care for small children, you need personal qualities.

I don't think it's a case of 'nursery teachers should be highly qualified' or 'nursery teachers are thick', it should be 'nursery teachers are suitable people to care for children and their intelligence is irrelevant'.

dont expect nursery staff read dostoevsky
do expect warm,nurturing,funny

For me personally, nursery care was/is a necessity so in many ways it doesn't matter whether I thought it was the right thing for my children.

Both of mine were in full time private nursery from the age of 2-3 months. No, I don't think that was a good thing to do to them and yes I think they would have been better at home.

But I'm a single parent. Therefore I have no choice but to work full time. What else do nursery haters expect lone parents to do. It's an actual impossiblity for us not to work so nursery (or some other form of childcare) it has to be.

Plus I love my job and would be too selfish to give it up even if it was an option.

ft nursery 6mth.never had a waver.or home best moment
and never will

this thread et al is kind of obvious
nursery detractors well they would say that..
nursery fans they would say that..
anecdotes a go-go

and never twain will meet

television n nursery?need to look at more expensive nurseries

Obviously I can only speak for my own experiences but the nursery my DC go to is absolutely fabulous and if I could name it without outing myself I would.

You know those kids that hang on the gate posts screaming for their mothers not to leave them? Well, mine are screaming for me to go away and come back later.

That said, I used a CM for ages 0-2 because I didn't feel a nursery setting was appropriate, and they still go to my CM (who is also truly amazing) 3x a week now, with 2 days in nursery (single mother with full-time job here).

There are good places and bad places. You do your homework and try to narrow it down to good ones only. The best measure is how happy your DC seem when you pick them up though.

I work at a nursery and my child goes there and it is way better than being at home as there are constant activities, places to go, children to play with, more toys than you can imagine etc. I dont think it is possible to replicate all that at home tbh and thats why I love working there. It certainly doesnt sound like some of the places described on here!

i am really really happy with ds nursery adn the staff there they are fantastic and so inventive they are doing something different everyday. its a really happy positive environment. ds loves going and has been this way from day one and it has really benefited him going, i visited 8 nurseries adn as soon as i went there it felt right and was the only one where teh staff looked like they enjoyed their jobs. most of the staff are furthering their education in childcare through schemes run by the council and company (private nursery). the staff never look bored and are always involved with the children

it also ticked all my boxes for what i was looking for in a nursery (learning form play and interaction with other children, home cooked organic food, do not use traditional discipline or naughty step, do not use time out among others)

we are moving soon and i will have to look for another nursery jsut hope we find one that is as good i feel very sad that he has to leave there :(

is television only OK if it's in my house then?
?

If you find a nursery that suits your child and can provide a caring and nurturing environment then you're lucky. There are awful ones out there, bit like all types of care really.

The biggest issue I have with nurseries is that they cannot possibly expand a child's horizons in the way that being out and about in the world with a parent (or nanny) can do, and I place huge value on the broadening of horizons.

I read an article recently where some child development expert was bemoaning the fact that many children arrived at school not having ventured further from home and nursery than the nearest shopping centre...

That might be true of some nurseries bonsoir, but not all. I recently took a group of 2 and 3 year olds to the theatre. They loved it and were very well behaved.
I would love to do more trips but it is just so expensive to get anywhere when you add on the cost of extra staff and transport costs.
We do things like going to the post office to buy stamps and post letters or to the local shop to buy biscuits or to the local park and soft-play centre. Anywhere within walking distance really.

Bonsoir I normally agree with your posts but to say that a child's horizons aren't expanded by being in a nursery would seem to imply that the parents never take the child anywhere. What about weekends and holidays? I think that, again, it's easy to blame nurseries but is really down to wider parenting.

Also, purepurple is right, many nurseries (including the one we use) do take the children on trips, etc.

I don't know any parent who presumes that nursery replaces parental care and family activities. I guess most people are intelligent enough to realise that it supplements it .

And for the genuinely ignorant minority of parents who don't get that,a nursery is probably providing a more stimulating environment than the home

Again we use a brilliant nursery and the outside extra-activities are plentiful. At nursery they have their own class garden they tend to.

Also there have been visits to see the forest, horses, farm, gardens - hosting different cultural festivals. Weekend trips with parents who work during the week. Different themed morning teas.

TSC - the even idea that nurseries would allow children to watch TV is dreadful. I suppose it is why so many people don't allow TV watching in their childminder/ nanny contracts.

I'm not implying that parents who use nurseries do nothing with their children when their children aren't in nursery. But clearly nurseries (for reasons of cost, and safety, and organisation) do not and cannot take children out and about in the way parents can (if they so wish). The issue is not nursery vs. home and which is the more stimulating, because parents who are "at home" with their children are often not "at home" very much, but out in the wider world.

"The biggest issue I have with nurseries is that they cannot possibly expand a child's horizons in the way that being out and about in the world with a parent (or nanny) can do, and I place huge value on the broadening of horizons"

That's a good point Bonsoir - however, I have observed that a lot of the parents I know who use nurseries do so because they work, and working allows them to go on holidays and activities that they would not otherwise be able to afford.

I am a SAHM and financially comfortable but hypothetically if I could only be one by cutting back on absolutely everything to the extent that we couldn't do much at all, wouldn't it be more "broadening" to be in nursery during the week and be able to travel and do trips on weekends and holidays?

That's the thing though, Bonsoir, when I was at home on mat leave we only did exciting things sporadically. So even if a child is at home they are not necessarily going to be having horizons broadened. Too easy to generalize on both sides here to make this a meaningful arguement.

secondcoming I would have walked straight out of that nursery.

I hit lucky with the nursery closest to me. It is private but run by women who seem to have a real sense of vocation. The manager is just lovely - she is occasionally distracted with the parents but never with the kids. Kids are picked up and cuddled all the time - I saw that on the first visit, which is why I picked it despite the fact that it was a trifle shabby.

I had a CM first - which was awful. The nursery I go to is warm and loving, and they have helped me so much over the years (letting me do extra days on ad-hoc basis, allowing me to drop down to one half-day a week during credit crunch). My DD1 loves going in there still. I am going to be in floods of tears when DD2 leaves!

I would have found another solution if I hadn't found a nursery that was so good and kind.

Wow i am glad i came in at the end of this thread.

Nurseries are never going to be for everyone but everyone should have access to them if that is what they choose and it is a choice each parent has to make by themselves and should do so without anyone telling them they have made the wrong choice and have harmed their children by doing so.

Nurseries in my experience by working in them a great place where children try new activities, different experiences and go to different places but i know i am never going to convince everyone that and i do not intend to try as long as i am not harassed by saying what a great experience nursery is.