aibu to ask what you really think of nurseries and their staff

[questioningmouse]

honestly

You stand by your opinion that nursery is "stressful" for every aren't, even though there are plenty of women he who say it wasn't? Why?
What is the point of contributing t a discussion if you have no intention of listening and reformulating your views...?

Ok clement I must have missed it but where is the evidence you have provided with regard to MY children and their suitability for a nursery environment? Will just check back through as I must have missed it!

AHH weloveguineapigs you are the one that has taken your dcs and their suitability and applied it to everyone!! And, I reierate, you did it first.
Jeeeeezzz

reiterate

How can I be smokey, I am just reporting what our nursery is like and have acknowledged that they are not all the same...

"What is the point of contributing t a discussion if you have no intention of listening and reformulating your views...?"

Is that discussion? IE "you listen to ME until I have shown you the right way and then you will agree with ME"! Seriously?

See I've got no issue with anyone on this thread who doesn't like nursery, didn't choose nursery, and says why - that is what the thread was about really.

Of all the comments, I've only really responded to the ones I felt were misrepresenting the nursery setting, by someone who has never used one.

I don't really care what anyone thinks about my childcare choices, or parenting choices - they were made by choice, not out of desperation or circumstance - they could have been cancelled immediately if they did not meet my expectations, etc.

But I do like to respond to misrepresentations - if someone states on a thread that if you have a c-section you can't drive for 6 weeks or that if you breastfeed then you should not eat peanuts then I would challenge that too - not because I care if people didn't drive for 6 weeks after a c-section or think I shouldn't have, but simply because its not true that you can't.

See what I mean?

Gunieapig (I have spelt it incorrectly because it is late and I am irritated by you spelling my name wrong again) I have actually said you NEVER get women who use nursery telling SAHM that their choices are wrong, so I have not put forward any evidence about your choices at all. I have simply said that smokey's assumptions are wrong because many nurseries are not as she portrays, and you are wrong because nursery is not stressful for EVERYONE (your assertion)

"But no-one who uses a nursery says it is better than being at home."

Claptrap.

Isn't it annoying pomme when having a row on here and you realise that you made a spelling mistake ?

Takes away some of the swagger and flourish you feel doesn't it? :)

NOT an assertion. An opinion.

nursery always contentious and polarised
and if someone on mn makes you feel got at,well maybe toughen up
theres enough quasi science and biddulph fans to berate you without getting het up at some words on a screen

i used nursery ft from 6mth.and heard every quip, every nuance,every face

i require to use nursery and thats the end of it
folk can like it or lump it

OK, so your "opinion" is that nurser is stressful for "everyone"; I say it is not stressful for me. It seems contrary or bloody minded for you to keep saying it is stressful for everyone in the face of an actual contradiction.
Ho hum, perhaps you are just the sort of person who has very fixed views...

I'm sure there are many good nurseries with good staff where the children do well and are happy. Unfortunately there are bad ones and I assume that those bad ones were seen to be 'good' by the parents who used them or I'd imagine they would never have trusted their children to them in the first place or are we saying that parents are happy to send their children and babies to bad nurseries. I guess we are all hoping that the 'good' nurseries far outnumber the 'bad' ones and that it would be obvious for us to spot.

I have temped in many nurersies - most staff great but some shit.

Add message | Report | Message poster smokeyandthebanjo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:28:05
"But no-one who uses a nursery says it is better than being at home."

Claptrap.

??

erm, actually i think DD was very bored at home sometimes and nursery is better.

she misses it in holdays.

although she misses me - the simple fact is I am not as much fun as nursery.

and although there is a question of balance - don't forget that once a baby gets used to being at nursery all day - that becomes home. a good quality nursery with low staff turnover really can be a home-from-home.

I considered the options very carefully when I returned to work 3 days a week when my son was 12 months. I had always thought I would prefer a childminder for him, as it would provide a more home from home environment.

However, when I gave it more thought, I did not like the fact that you do not have any control over who else may come into contact with your child when they are with a childminder, and also did not like the fact that they could be in the car with the childminder 2 or 3 time each day on school runs, supermarket shops etc - both due to safety and general stimulation.

I chose a nursery which I am very happy with - my son has never cried when I've left him there, and genuinely seems to love being there, gets loads of stimulation from lovely staff, and has mastered things I thought were beyond his age. I also think it is a very safe environment compared to other forms of care.

Even if I didn't work, I would put him in for a couple of sessions a week as I feel he gains so much more from his experience there than I can offer at home. I am amazed by the amount of work that goes into caring for and developing my son - I am happier with my choice than I ever thought I would be before sending him there.

I visited about 8 different nurseries however and the standard of care varied massively - 4 out of those nurseries I would never used in a million years.

Eggy - you are right. That was our experience with our DSs.

Pot, Kettle and Black clemett.

I haven't kept saying it. I said it once and stood by it. This seems to be irritating you a little but maybe I need to explain to you that I don't actually have to come round to your way of thinking, I really don't. If I were presented with more compelling evidence than YOUR say so then perhaps I might but for now my stance remains unchanged.

I think scottishmummy has summed it up nicely.

Don't be ridiculous questioningmouse - I said it was extended to disadvantaged two year olds and that was classist!

I haven't got time to google it extensively for you, but here is an article about it which states:

"Thousands of two-year-olds in the country's most disadvantaged areas will be given free nursery education as part of an "innovative" project announced by the Chancellor.

Ministers have been convinced the time is right to extend nursery education to children at such a young age by research showing that a class gap in their ability to master basic skills first emerges by the age of 22 months."

And now I am going to report your post for the following statement: "you are a sad strange woman and i feel sorry for your children"

How dare you?

I have 3 and the only one who hasnt attended nursery is the 3rd dd. Going to nursery is definately better than staying at home. She starts in September when she gets her free place.

See clemette - you were spouting claptrap when you said no one says being at home is better than being at nursery - eggyallanpoe and fifi25 have just proved you wrong.