aibu to ask what you really think of nurseries and their staff

[questioningmouse]

honestly

Nasty Questioningmouse.

Fair enough. Slightly delusional, but your right entirely to believe things that aren't true.
As scottishmummy and I are old hands at this debate it amuses me that no-one ever goes back to read all the other "nurseries are evil" threads to find the hundreds of mumsnetters who are have happy children who went to nursery as babies, and will still say "I won't change my prejudice based on just your opinion." does make you wonder what other prejudices they are clinging on to. I suppose some of us are just a bit more open minded or flexible

lol,aye ive heard every precious moment mama quip

Smokey, I think they have said that nursery is better for THEIR babies, not all babies whereas you and the guineapig have made your assertions about ALL babies.

"Slightly delusional, but your right entirely to believe things that aren't true."

Right back at ya! .

Frankly I am a bit disappointed that I haven't had a Biddulph "fact" thrown at me yet SM

hehe,some literature requests though.but no biddulph tambourine

Guineapig ... Oh never mind, you obviously haven't read what I have written so far (about only being able to comment on my own situation) so there is little point in engaging with you.

Clemette, you said that no one who uses nurseries says that it's better than being at home.

You are patently being proved wrong by the posts on this thread.

I suppose it is "comforting" that, despite have been away from MN for a good few months, the same nonsense is still here when I get back.

Oh I have read everything you have written. Let me summarise.

For me and my dc, we found a nursery environment stressful.
For you and yours, you did not.

You won't change your mind to accommodate my opinions
I won't change mine to accommodate yours.

Have I got it?

Well, I could do this all night, but I have to go now.

OP - thanks for telling me I must be smoking crack/a few cards short of a deck/I'm a sad, strange woman etc etc.

I have to say, you've REALLY won me round to leaving my baby with you, well done

I completely acknowledge that for many families being compelled to go back to work when they don't want to is very stressful. Some babies don't settle or thrive at nursery. Some parents really struggle with leaving them. It must be horrible.
It wasn't my experience, so I know it is not the experience of EVERYONE but I understand that different people have different experiences...

i pay too much to hear negatives
i expect and get positive and upbeat

Some people are being ridiculous on this thread - and you're being just nasty, questioningmouse. Surely it comes down to three things: what we think will suit our children, what we make of the research evidence on the effects of different kinds of childcare, and the quality of the different options available. Oh, and the extent to which we have a choice at all, of course.

Personally, I'm not keen on babies in nursery care as a general concept. However, I have considered it and visited four nurseries. Three left me feeling downright depressed (and three of those are no longer open, all closed by Ofsted, which is encouraging that the regulatory system can actually work). One seemed fantastic, and I may still use it.

depends like everything else
ya get what ya pays for and a good manager makes all the difference

i was very lucky

The whole question of whether nursery is 'better' than home is irrelevant because no one chooses nursery as a substitute for home. Some parents keep their children at home all the time. Some parents use a nursery/ childminder as well as caring for them at home.

nursery vs home?nursery is the holding pen
home is place you return to after work
its quite simple

There are great nurseries and there are crap nurseries, not all will be the same.

Some will be staffed by under-qualified 18 year olds, 9 babies lined up in highchairs etc etc.

Some aren't like that at all - at my ds's nursery he is in a room of 5 or 6 babies and toddlers under 2. They eat together in low chairs round a table. He sleeps when he wants. There are 3 members of staff, all are mothers or grandmothers and one is degree educated. They have a bright, lovely room, and little garden and on Friday they went to the library.

Oh yes, and I didn't want a home environment for ds - he gets a home environment at home. They can provide lots of things at nursery that I couldn't or wouldn't provide myself.

some sahm are rubbish
some nursery rubbish
and selective memory and need to prove point will determine what folk recall

Interesting how some mothers who stay at home with their children and don't use nurseries feel they know SO much about the nurseries which other working mothers happily use. Interesting how they feel qualified to comment. Interesting that they CARE so much actually.
You don't tend to get working mothers fretting so much over the quality of provision those other SAHMS provide
Just an observation....

I really think the only way all nurseries will be like that is through government funding. Private nurseries won't make a profit on having small groups, high staff ratios and paying good wages to attract/keep well qualified staff.

my eldest attended nursery in the UK for a year full time. My youngest attends the Aus equivalent of a nursery for long day care one day a week and a kindy three days a week.

Each centre I have had anything to do with have been brilliant with very dedicated and professional staff who adored my dds and all the children in their care.

I did look at two others when I was looking around and can honestly say the minute I walked into the centres I knew it was not the place for my child.