To let my local Co-Op know that one of their cashiers hurled racist abuse at me on the bus last August

[justicemustprevail]

Well? I saw the bitch working in my local Co-Op the other day. I don't want to go into detail about what happened, but I was not the guilty party and I did not provoke this woman in any way. She was lucky I didn't phone the police.
Should Co-Op be told that they have hired a racist bigot?
Oh and I will do it purely out of revenge and the fact that she is ruining Co-Op's clean image.

Thanks Piprabbit. Have taken that onboard.

Just looking back through this thread, there are some REALLY horrible posts on here! You know who you are - you should be ashamed of yourselves. Trolls don't usually agree with everyone and wind up the thread after two pages, do they?

justice, why don't you hide this thread or ask MN to delete it or something, then pour yourself a glass of wine and forget the whole thing.

x-posts worra.

I too thought she might be a troll at first as well but considering the nature of the thread - i.e. racist abuse - I deliberately trod carefully at first.

Nobody knows whether anything posted on MN is true. We use our best judgement and take it on trust. This thread does not follow the spot-it-a-mile-off pattern of trolls. There are times when it's better to be more cautious even when you suspect trolling. I think your tone was unacceptable.

Since when has MN asked for both sides before giving advice?

I have sometimes looked at threads with an open mind but we don't read one thinking that the OP is lying.

The MN rules are; it's not a bun fight and no troll hunting. Personally im bored and having to stay up because i'm 'on call' so i'll answer anyone's thread, everyone else can go to bed there's no need to protect me (or anyone else, i'm sure, we are all adults) from troll threads, thank you anyway.

We'll agree to disagree then Speedy because that's how trolls work as a rule. They pick topics they think people will feel uncomfortable questioning them on...like racism, mental health, SN etc...

Righto, I'm definitely off to read the dog shit threads

This thread and most of the others on here tonight are bollocks

You can get me banned if I'm wrong because quite frankly if they ain't MN is not the place for me any more

It's okay Speedy - I'm not phased by the rude comments. I've been on here quite a long time and know how it works. I also consider myself a child of the internet generation - I don't get intimidated by people making heinous comments, hiding behind computer screens. I just really wanted constructive criticism and I got it - thanks to you again.

I reported Pookietherabbit for calling me a vindictive bitch - that was uncalled for. I will take all forms of criticism, but swearing at someone and using bad and intimidating language is something I will not put up with.

I think that the comments open your eyes to the insensitivity about, such as 'if it bothered you so much at the time, you would have reported it', yes because victims of crime are often feeling strong and empowered, so go marching off shouting for justice.

Agree that there is a lot of insensitivity in this post. Eg that the allegation is 'unfounded'

Hurling rascist abuse is a crime. It is also an extremely painful thing to be on the receiving end of. Those painful feelings don't just go away and most certainly would be revived by a bunch of unsympathetic people saying it's an unfounded allegation with no evidence. Are you saying she is lying ?

So, her feelings and reactions are understandable. Try thinking how you would deal with this . Would you honestly be able to do so rationally ?

Sadly, it is too late to do anything about this, as many posters were right to point out. Maybe if anybody witneses something like this in future they can offer to help on the spot by giving evidence or calling police. It's so shocking to be on receiving end of this that victims often don't know how to react at the time.

are you from leicester op
the front page of the local paper was a story along the same lines as this.i'll try and link it if i can

I can't imagine the Co-Op will care less.

You'll simply end up being the crazy lady with the personal vendetta.....

Get over it. This level of anger 10 months after the original incident is not healthy.

Re the bit in most peoples contracts this will apply to whilst employed or charges etc that they have nit been told about before employing someone. Do you really expect them to sack her because some random person has made an allagation from ages ago? Would your emoyer have sacked you?

What she did was disgusting. If you want revenge they only way I can see it working is to go there as often as possible in order to try and provoke a reaction. Do you really want to I vest so much time and effort?

Fuck me backwards! Someone abused you over 10 months ago and you did fuck all now you want revenge. Mmmmmmm wonder whether Co op will laugh in your face about this as I would OP. Getting revenge, try getting a life instead. If it bothered you that much you would have done something at the time like most rational people, you didn't so tough.

I said fuck me backwards I guess the OP will report me.

After reading the whole thread I can see why some people were annoyed last night, you want to complain to a huge company about a person whose name you dont know and you want them to sack her???
I worked in Tesco for years and you are just your job title to head office and they will take no action at all as 1 it happened before she started with them and 2 you did not report it so have no proof.
Take your custom elsewhere in future and forget about her. If you are ever in a situation like that again take the advice you were given on the bus and report it.
You have every right to be angry at her and what happened was not nice but most people will have had something said or done to them that they did not like. Mine was getting called a fat bitch when I was heading for my 6 week check after ds1, if he had been with me I would have went by un-noticed, now when I walk past the house I hold my head up high as I know I am a far better person than they will ever be.

Good grief are we playing mumsnet bingo?

I don't think you can complain that most people aren't taking you seriously OP, because you haven't said what actually happened, and rightly or wrongly that doesn't often fly on MN.

And hey people - don't insult the Blyton - even a Famous Five book wouldn't be this ridiculous :)

OP I don't think anyone here thinks it is okay for you/anyone to suffer racial/ any other sort of abuse from a stranger.

But it's also not okay to send anonymous emails to someones place of work ten months later when you have no proof and no witnesses and it didn't take place at the workplace or while she was in uniform.

And can you be sure, after all this time has passed, that she is the same woman? After all, you say you felt shocked and victimised and alone and I imagine that it was very stressful for you. Stress sometimes affects the way you remember things, especially when time has passed and it may be that this woman just looks similar to the one on the bus.

And I say this because I suffered a mild panic attack in the supermarket on Thursday because I thought I had seen my FIL further along the aisle. It wasn't him, poor man didn't even look that much like him when I had a proper look, but he was about the same height and build and had the same colour hair. And after that, even though I knew it wasn't FIL, when I caught a glimpse of the man again I still felt panicked and ill and (very unreasonably) like this man was somehow linked to FIL and so someone to be afraid of.

For that reason (possible mistaken identity) it is not worth the risk of reporting her. But on a more serious note for you, it may well be that they do take your email seriously but against you rather than her, report it to the police to be traced in some way and get you warned or prosecuted for harrassment.

I dont blame you for wanting revenge.

You do want revenge. Its not justice. But I still dont blame you.

I dont understand why people cannot see why you are so angry. I wouldnt like it if they person who called me a n**r fucking whore with mongral kids worked in my Coop. I go in there everyday. It would be horrible to face that everyday.

But there isnt much you can do as the assualt isnt connected to the job. If she were in public service with power it would be different.

Leave it behind, dont let the anger take over your life. The racism is HER problem not yours. Just feel sorry for the twisted bitch.

Honestly - let it go.

No we're not playing mumsnet bingo - we're actually discussing (or at least some people are trying to discuss) a serious matter that happened to me in an adult fashion. Unfortunately there have been alot of insensitive comments made - it just goes to show how some people view racism. Thanks for showing your true colours; there is no way you'd have the courage to make comments like that in RL.

I'm glad some of you think what happened to me was "ridiculous" - so being a victim of racism is "ridiculous"? Oh and apparantly I am lying. Well, why would I waste half a night on here if I'd made up a story? Just for kicks? Sorry, but I'm not a 15 year old teenager.

Like I've said before - I appreciate all constructive criticism, I don't appreciate put-downs and allegations that I'm lying.

Katvond, that is just the kind of comment I would expect from an ignorant twit like you. Make a worthy comment, and I might actually listen to what you're saying.

Thanks for the comments Birdsgottafly and FinallySpring.

I say again - you haven't actually said what happened...

FWIW I was not saying that the incident (whatever the fuck it was!) is ridiculous - just the idea of writing an anonymous letter about someone whose name you don't even know and expecting the company to act on it!

Thanks takethisonehereforastart and thefirstMrsDeVere. I won't be doing anything. But I know why I am so angry, it's because my DD was with me when it happened, and I don't want her hearing things like that. I don't want her to think her home isn't her home because of her race.

I have no idea why some OPs bother...

Do what you were going to do anyway. Don't ask for advice if you don't really want it. Its a waste of everyone's time.

You obviously haven't read a word I've written TheFlyingOnion. If you think your time is being wasted, then please do move along. Be my guest.

Well I'm off out for the day (not to Co-Op). Good bye.