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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

.. to use the disabled loo when out with DD

260 replies

Gster · 01/06/2011 11:08

I'd bet this has been covered many times, but I'm fairly new.

When I'm out with DD ( 2.5 years ) somewhere like a museum and she needs a pee-pee ( or me ) , I use the disabled loo. I obviously wouldn't venture into the ladies being a bloke, and more often than not the gents are pretty grim.

What do other dads do ?

Or general opinion.

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/06/2011 16:43

No-one's said you need to be incontinent/have continence issues to use a disabled loo. I mentioned it as one of the reasons why it might be distressing for a disabled person to have to wait for the disabled loo whilst an able-bodied person (who could have used the ladies/gents) used it.

CrapolaDeVille · 01/06/2011 16:47

OP.of course use the disabled toilet. Why would you go into the, usually, stinking men's with your dd? A child desperate to go is as important as anyone else.

Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 16:54

Crapola,

yep. well I do usually, if there was a disabled person at the door first ( or second ) I'd certainly insist they go first, and hope that dd could hang on, or head for the gents.

Truth is I've never seen one occupied.

Very funny Larry David episode around a man with a stutter who uses the disabled parking / toilet.

OP posts:
CrapolaDeVille · 01/06/2011 16:57

As long as there's a constant questioning of whether you should I think that's enough....

HaughtyChuckle · 01/06/2011 17:01

"bloody hell!! us women have to cart boys into the ladies with us as well you know!!"

ah, yes but women don't have their genatalia hanging out for all to see whilst peeing,I would be concerend If I was a dad of walking in where a lot of grown men are using urinals. may cuase some awkward moments.

flob · 01/06/2011 17:55

Yabu, selfish and inconsiderate.
If you were in the position of having a disabled child or a disability yourself then I would imagine your opinion would be completely different.
We frequently have to wait outside disabled toilets waiting for people like yourself.
It is impossible for us to use "normal" toilets. Try changing a ten year olds shitty nappy on the floor and having to wait because some idiot has deemed it appropriate for them to use the facilities.
Nice, try actually thinking of the viewpoint of the people who HAVE to use them.
Hopefully you will not ever be in that position.

Riveninside · 01/06/2011 18:08

Why are mens toilets so vile? Can they not be taughtto keep them clean and not piss on floor/toilet seat?
I used to be a cleaner and had to clean mens loo's. Pretty disgusting.

Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 18:14

Mix of men who've never cleaned up after themselves, the unpredictability of 'flow' , bad aim, being drunk, not caring.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 18:16

I heard the other day that in Holland ( again ) , they put little graphics of flys on the urinals. The phycology being men would aim at them and not stray with their spray.

Worked a treat apparantly

OP posts:
Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 18:16

psychology

OP posts:
Riveninside · 01/06/2011 18:30

Given men are parents too i woild expect them to be able to take their children into mens toilets same as women.

sleepingsowell · 01/06/2011 18:35

Dh often comes out with tales of truly disgusting men's toilets - it isn't the same as a woman taking a child into the womens, it is different because the loos can be soooo much worse and a genuine health hazard

I think it's time we had a mens, a womens, a disabled persons and a parent/child loo. Time to modernise and get with the times.

Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 18:40

Rivenside. You're two last posts seem to contradict each other, or at least shine light on why I'm reluctant to take my daughter into the gents if there is an alternative.

I've opened men's cubicles and found tramps sleeping in them before. There are some men's loos that I'm reluctant to go into alone, let alone with a two year old girl.

OP posts:
Riveninside · 01/06/2011 18:43

They are not contradictory. Mens loos are vile. But they shouldnt be. Why do men, especially parnets put up with this shit? Wheres the campaign? Men should be able to take their small kids into male toilets and expect a safe and clean toilet. What would you do Gster if out with your 2 yo but theres no disabled loo?

bupcakesandcunting · 01/06/2011 18:47

"What would you do Ginster if out with your 2 yo but theres no disabled loo?"

I would let the two year old shit in a crisp packet in the middle of the precinct.

Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 18:54

Rivenside. I'd probably check how revolting the gents is, possibly look for a kindly old lady to check the ladies for me, go on guard duty, last resort head for the gents.

failing that bupcake's crisp packet.

OP posts:
Riveninside · 01/06/2011 18:56

Would have to be. Afamily sized bag i reckon. When you come across vile loos do you write and complain?

bupcakesandcunting · 01/06/2011 18:58

When I come across vile loos, I do write and complain.

I smear "Not fucking good enough!" in my own excrement across the mirrors. I believe that in prison circles it is called a filthy protest.

Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 18:59

No, I guess I take it as the norm, and try and get out as quickly as possible.

OP posts:
smileANDwave2000 · 01/06/2011 19:06

lol@bup sorry that made me giggle i must admit as ive a disabled DH and DS, DH can wait often DS can not so i do get peed off if able boddied people are using the disabled loo, i would not if a public loo say at a park for eg there all disgusting so cant blame you usually but in the shopping mall or the ones in the supermarket i do get angry a bit at as the queues are not that bad ,if they are you know what with my DS ive just walked into the mens room with him because hes a boy and the women do have bigger queues

horriblemotheragain · 01/06/2011 19:11

i have been known to use the disabled loo when i have all three of my children with me - if I'm on my own with two children and one in a buggy, and the older two both need to go, as do I, I don't see what choice I have. All three have to come with me (oldest is 6), and there is rarely enough room in a public loo for a buggy to go in and not be a total pain to everyone else. Much much quicker to nip into the disabled loo, we all have a wee, takes about two minutes max. I have NEVER come out to see a disabled person waiting, and if i did i would apologise, but needs must.

No, YANBU unless there is a queue of disabled people waiting. Then take her into the gents and wash hands thoroughly afterwards!

smileANDwave2000 · 01/06/2011 19:19

ive been standing there before though with my DS whos disabled literally wet himself but i undersatand the OP esp being a man he wouldnt want to take his dd in the mens eventhough with dad these days people ( though women can be paedos too) people might look on it oddly .. why dont they have more family loos so either are free to use they do where i live , separate to the men , women n baby changing ..i went into toys are us with my daughter the other day (shes a teen) and taller than me she used the big loo the big sink and the big hand dryer whilst i was made to use the teeny tiny stuff i almost couldnt get up off the bog lol

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/06/2011 19:28

Horriblemother - what would you do if you came out of the disabled loo and found smileANDwave's ds out there, having wet himself waiting to use the only loo that is accessible for him?

NorthernGobshite · 01/06/2011 19:37

I do it, its much easier with children.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/06/2011 20:07

NorthernGobshite - can I ask you the question that I asked horriblemother, above.