.. to use the disabled loo when out with DD

[Gster]

I'd bet this has been covered many times, but I'm fairly new.

When I'm out with DD ( 2.5 years ) somewhere like a museum and she needs a pee-pee ( or me ) , I use the disabled loo. I obviously wouldn't venture into the ladies being a bloke, and more often than not the gents are pretty grim.

What do other dads do ?

Or general opinion.

Gster - you say your daughter would walk right up to them? Well then, hold her hand and lead her to the cubicle. It's not like it's rocket science on that point, is it?

And yes, many's the time I've seen a toilet see with pee on it in the women's toilet. Women more attuned to hygiene? Hardly. I've seen some pretty dire women's toilets all over the place.

That's good, as I wasn't arguing with ya anyway. I was simply pointing out that you obviously mis-read it.

Triggles.

I think purely the mechanics and biology result in more pee , less hygene in the gents. I'm sure there are dire ladies loos, but gents are witjout doubt ( for me ) worse.

Yes i have taken dd in there, my xp is hyper sensitive to these issues which no doubt drives my reasoning.

And yes, of course i'm not going to let dd wander around the gents.

I'm making mountains out of mole hills.

..... Possibly . I just feel very protective. I want to do the right thing. It's a dilemma.... I wish there were a few more dads on here....

I don't think I would want a 2 yr old girl going onto the gents, just seems wrong (old lady emotion)

Gster - if it helps, DH says he has no issues with taking small toddlers (boy or girl) into the mens toilet - and he has on numerous occasions (our children). According to him, you avoid the mess, clean up what you need to, keep them out of whatever they're shouldn't get into, use the toilet, wash hands, and leave. Not really that big an issue. He actually seems rather amused that it causes such a kerfluffle on MN. He's never had any issues with it - boy or girl.

And he's only ever used the disabled toilets with DS2, who is disabled. Says he's never even considered using them instead of the men's toilets otherwise. (somehow I can't see him using the women's either - he's a big man who looks like the rough biker type)

Well my DD must be somehow terribly damaged because she's been in the gents toilets with regularity since birth and throughout toilet training. Now she's nearly 5 she can go in the ladies whilst DP waits outside so it's a non-issue.

I've never left her outside a cubicle whilst I peed though. Does that outweigh the damage caused by all the needless sightings of strange willies?

....... and so to bed. Thanks to everyone for their input.

Triggles. You are the voice of reason :-)

Gster, I just asked my DH and he said he'd go to the disabled loos first and if not available then he'd take DD to a cubicle in the men's loos.

I use the disabled loo's when Ive got my pram with me. If I leave my pram outside the cubicle with my bag and other bits in, anyone could nick it.

I would reconsider that vickster11. I'd always keep my valuables with me and not in a pram.

And yet people would think it okay to leave the baby

I use a disabled loo when I have my pushchair too....once when I was new at this game, and to avoid using the disables loo in case anyone needed it I went to the ladies and had to go with the door open. Never again!

What is silly is that most baby changing facilities are inside the disabled loo cubicle, I hate it and always rush in case someone is waiting. I especially if I have a nappy to change and a toddler to pot.

I must live a hermits life or something but I've only ever once opened the door to find someone waiting to use the loo....

Men don't car4e because they stand up to wee....they don't have to sit. You d=find the same in countries without western toilets too, pretty disgusting state.

Maybe we're talking about different standards of toilets.

The ladies often have wee on the seats - a quick wipe and they're fine.
The gents I've been in have usually been smeared with crap all over the place and piss all over the floor. A quick wipe aint gonna cut it.

I suppose the answer is to look at the state of the gents and if they are genuinely revolting then I for one wouldn't blame anyone for looking for alternative arrangements.

I notice that neither horriblemother nor NorthernGobshite have actually answered my question -

"What would you do if you came out of the disabled loo and found smileANDwave's ds out there, having wet himself waiting to use the only loo that is accessible for him?"

That, for me, is the issue. It might not happen terribly often, but it does happen. Someone who really needs the disabled loo, for whom it is the only choice, has to wait whilst someone who has other choices, uses it - and sometimes this will cause physical or emotional distress.

Could those of you who use the disabled loo and don't have a disability or condition that entitles you to, face a distressed, disabled person who has maybe wet or soiled themselves, and maybe that person's carer too, with equanimity - secure in your sense of entitlement? I couldn't.

That could happen if there's another disabled person in there.

And not all people with urgency are disabled.

I sense we are going to go round in circles!

God, some of you are pathetic. Falling over yourselves to ingratiate yourselves with the PC brigade.

I guarantee you - GUARANTEE IT - that nobody with an atom of common sense would stand there cross-legged, or expect a child to do the same, if a disabled-access loo was the only one free. It's ludicrous.

I often use disabled toilets as they have the changing facilities which are there to be used, and also because it is much easier with children. Anyone who thinks that is wrong is a twat

[should run away but can't be bothered]

Yes, SardineQueen, it could happen if another disabled person was in there, but that disabled person would have had no choice but to use the disabled loo - that's the difference as far as I am concerned.

Not insulting gster. Dont ever take her to any festivals ever. I think theres no harm in seeing bodies naked. Children dont get scarred for life and are fully capable of knowing what is inappropriate despite seing the odd man have a pee.

It is changing herbie, one day we will be able to bteeze out like non disableds and know there is a loo, changing table and hoist. Right now there is one in tis city. In town. So if we went to the zoo we would have to leave zoo, get on bus, go the 3 miles into town, use the disabled changimg, get back on bus, go back to zoo. Non disabled people have no idea.

"That, for me, is the issue. It might not happen terribly often, but it does happen. Someone who really needs the disabled loo, for whom it is the only choice, has to wait whilst someone who has other choices, uses it - and sometimes this will cause physical or emotional distress."

That about sums it up SDTG

We have one toilet. One choice. Non disableds can go anywhere and have many many choices.

Yes SDTG but we have already established that not all people with urgency are disabled!

To each on their own conscience is the answer I guess.