Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

.. to use the disabled loo when out with DD

260 replies

Gster · 01/06/2011 11:08

I'd bet this has been covered many times, but I'm fairly new.

When I'm out with DD ( 2.5 years ) somewhere like a museum and she needs a pee-pee ( or me ) , I use the disabled loo. I obviously wouldn't venture into the ladies being a bloke, and more often than not the gents are pretty grim.

What do other dads do ?

Or general opinion.

OP posts:
maxomummy · 01/06/2011 12:39

I've got 13 month old twin girls and we always use the disabled loo when out as I can't get the pushchair in the ladies! What else can i do?? Leave them outside while I have a wee?! This just shows how un-child friendly we are in this country and dads have it worse.

MmeLindor. · 01/06/2011 12:41

SardineQueen

I posted:

No, they are not purely for people in wheelchairs. They are for those with a physical or mental disability that means using a normal loo is either extremely difficult or plain impossible.

Where in that, or in any other of my postings did you see a reference to being registered disabled?

A physical or mental disability - could be a temporary one, could be IBS, could be someone who is simply unable to wait such as a child with autism. Who may or may not be registered disabled.

There are no hard and fast rules, imo. Except that using a disabled toilet because you are too lazy, or too impatient to wait for a normal one, when you have no permanent or temporary physical or mental disability is plain selfish.

BulletWithAName · 01/06/2011 12:43

I use it when I go out if I have the pushchair with me and the ladies isn't easily accessible. I also have a radar key. . Perks of DP's job.

squeakytoy · 01/06/2011 12:44

Sardine and MmeLindor, they are for anyone to use. They are designed though, so that anyone including the disabled can use them.

As with ramps for wheelchairs, would anyone expect a mother with a pram to struggle on steps when a perfectly good ramp is there to be used? I doubt it. But that ramp by law has to be there to give access to wheelchair users.

Parking spaces are an entirely different thing.

bupcakesandcunting · 01/06/2011 12:46

"bupcakes, I'll take the flaming, because I will always do what I think is right for my children. Wrt this, I don't care if other people think I'm over protective or selfish."

Same here. I think that my fear stems from when a man tried to lure me from my mum in Woolworths when I was six. I remember it clear as anything. My mum was ordering something at the counter and was engrossed in what she was doing. I was loitering by her legs, wishing she'd hurry up. Then I remember seeing a dirty, horrible-looking man calling me over to him, putting his finger to his lips telling me to "ssssshhhhh" The Woolworths lady clocked him and shouted at him to get out and he scarpered.

If ANYONE takes the piss out of me for that, I WILL flip...

MmeLindor. · 01/06/2011 12:48

SqueakyToy
ok, we are going to have to disagree on this one because nothing you say will convince me otherwise.

I stand by my opinion.

The whole point of having accessible toilets is that those who cannot use normal toilets have (almost) instant access to them. In some instances this is necessary.

If we all use the disabled toilets then they are not available. Are they?

As to your abuse of the radar key scheme, Bullet, you should be ashamed of yourself.

MmeLindor. · 01/06/2011 12:50

bupcakes
I will not take the piss out of you for your story, and I am sorry that you were so frightened of that man. Of course it is understandable that you worry about your children.

Parenting is all about risk assessment and we all have different thresholds.

squeakytoy · 01/06/2011 12:50

using a disabled toilet because you are too lazy, or too impatient to wait for a normal one, when you have no permanent or temporary physical or mental disability is plain selfish

I would totally disagree. If you were on a bus and the only available seat was the one designated for disabled passengers, but there were none on the bus, you would sit on it wouldnt you? It would only be selfish is you didnt vactate the seat if someone who needed it got on the bus after you.

If all the small cubicles were in use, or out of use, and the only available toilet was the one which is the wheelchair accessible one, would you stand there crossing your legs waiting, or use the toilet that IS available.

SardineQueen · 01/06/2011 12:51

mmelindor that would still exclude someone with the squits, a pregnant women who is going to piss herself, and NT toddler who can't wait etc etc

Or not?

I simply ask as I get so many different opinions on these threads. The last time I posted about the situation at my local hospital I got a definitive NO if there is a disabled sign on it you cannot use it.

The whole situation is extremely confusing and can cause a lot of difficulty.

BulletWithAName · 01/06/2011 12:51

Well I'm not. Sorry, it's not like I've killed anyone is it. It's a publictoilet. When they expressly have a sign outside all of them barring their use to anyone who isn't disabled, then I'll stop using them.

maypole1 · 01/06/2011 12:53

As a person who has a child in a wheelchair it annoys me a little when we have to wait for someone who is not disabled to be honest if my lo could could walk and was 2 they would just pee in a bush if they couldn't wait for the main cue but lo can't walk and can't wait in the main cue lo has few advantages but one lo has is being able to use the bog with out a cue

I am not cross with the op I just think a little more thought needs to go into why it is their is a special toilet in the first place.

Shoesytwoesy · 01/06/2011 12:54

BulletWithAName Wed 01-Jun-11 12:43:45
I use it when I go out if I have the pushchair with me and the ladies isn't easily accessible. I also have a radar key. . Perks of DP's job.

that is meant I meant by bragging

TakeItOnTheChins · 01/06/2011 12:55

All these disabled people with continence problems.... so what if a disabled person arrives at the accessible toilet and there's already a disabled person in there?? Will there then be a standoff, where they argue about who is MOST disabled??

Just use your common sense. If there is a disabled loo, and no disabled person in sight heading for it, then use it. Be as quick as possible, just in case, but honestly - it's not as if you often see disabled people in the loos anyway. To hear some MN'ers talk, you'd think the disabled loos were hives of activity.

I would certainly take my small daughter in the disabled/accessible loo rather than the men's toilet, if I were a bloke. There's really no reason why not.

MmeLindor. · 01/06/2011 12:55

Squeakytoy
Bus is different because you can see if someone gets on the bus and vacate the seat immediately.

SardineQueen
would that not fall into "temporary disabled". Perhaps I was not clear enough. I mean that anyone who temporarily had medical needs that made getting to an accessible toilet immediately a priority.

BulletWithAName · 01/06/2011 12:55

Who's bragging? It's not like I get excited by it or anything...bloody hell.

BulletWithAName · 01/06/2011 12:56

Just use your common sense. If there is a disabled loo, and no disabled person in sight heading for it, then use it. Be as quick as possible, just in case, but honestly - it's not as if you often see disabled people in the loos anyway. To hear some MN'ers talk, you'd think the disabled loos were hives of activity.

Thank you. All times I've used a disabled toilet, never once have I seen a disabled person waiting for it. Of course, I would apologise profusely if I did. But it hasn't happened yet.

Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 12:57

Quenelle,

good question. If I had a son yes I probably would just go straight to the gents. Although I guess although I'd take him into a cubicle for a pee-pee I wouldn't be putting him on the seat.

As for taking DD into the mens, I suppose one think is that she's very curious , I wouldn't be surprised if she threw a tantrum when not being allowed to see what was going on.

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 01/06/2011 12:57

Well no. Having the squits or being a young child aren't disabilities whatever way you cut it.

MmeLindor. · 01/06/2011 12:57

Bullet
They bloody well do have a sign on them saying they are reserved for the disabled.

That is what the RADAR KEY is for, you selfish bint.

Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 12:58

thing = think

OP posts:
Original poster
Gster · 01/06/2011 12:59

( blimey , I thought men's web forums were combative )

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 01/06/2011 13:00

They bloody well do have a sign on them saying they are reserved for the disabled

Not quite, they have a sign saying they are suitable or accesible for people in wheelchairs.

otchayaniye · 01/06/2011 13:00

My husband is a SAHD and takes our daughter to the zoo/museums etc every day and he's never had a problem using the mens. If one is super grim (and believe me, the ladies ones can be grim too) then he'll use another.

I don't think it's a heinous crime to use the disabled, but we feel bad about it enough not to take up the space. Some people with a disability would like to use it there and then and need to, so even if it's for a minute or two, I'd rather not.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/06/2011 13:01

I think my view on this is that if you can reasonably use the ordinary loos, you should do so. If you really need to use the disabled loos, then you can, but should be aware that there are far fewer disabled loos, and you are probably using the only one available in that location, so should be as quick as you can.

And we should be campaigning for more 'Family' toilet cubicles, so that dads with their dds, parents with pushchairs etc, have another option besides the disabled loos.

As another poster said, we are not a very child-friendly nation - especially where toilets are concerned.

Quenelle · 01/06/2011 13:03

Good point Gster. And FWIW YANBU, I would do the same in your situation.

But look what you've started Grin