.. to use the disabled loo when out with DD

[Gster]

I'd bet this has been covered many times, but I'm fairly new.

When I'm out with DD ( 2.5 years ) somewhere like a museum and she needs a pee-pee ( or me ) , I use the disabled loo. I obviously wouldn't venture into the ladies being a bloke, and more often than not the gents are pretty grim.

What do other dads do ?

Or general opinion.

Pozzled, a lot of men might just feel uncomfortable about a small girl being in the mens toilets though. Also, the cubicle in mens loos are almost always manky.

Gster I think that what you are doing is perfectly okay. I wouldn't want my DD going into a men's toilet and seeing other men with their willies out and I don't think that the men would be entirely comfortable peeing in front of someone else's toddler. I think you are doing the best you can and until there are 'family' toilets, where men can take their daughters, this will continue to be an issue.

I've taken my children in 'disabled' toilets, usually when there has been a massive queue for the ladies and I've had a toddler in danger of not being able to hold on. Also when I've had a pram and not been able to easily get into the ladies. While some of you might be happy to leave your babies outside the cubicle, I am not. I take the view that they are there for whoever needs them, and that is not solely people with wheelchairs/incontinence issues etc.

I had the dilemma at a train station on Monday. I hovered outside the ladies loo, eventually went into the gents, and it was disgusting.

Ok , so is now a dilemma that doesn't include the disabled option, but I'd bet the ladies was in amuch better state.

It's not about whether you feel comfortable with your DD catching a glimpse of someone's nob. The owner of the nob might not be all that enamoured with having a little girl see his dinkle.

I completely agree with give and take, trouble is there are a few selfish people out there that spoil that and it ends up give and give! Hence I feel the need for P&C facilities and disabled facilities. I think I got p@@@ed off because the mother's attitude that she had rights because she had three children under 10 and that they were more important, because they were children, than my aunt, because she was old!

This is what I don't get though. Not everyone with irritable bowel/bladder problems is registered disabled. Obviously the need is very urgent and many people get desperate to the point where they are going to have an accident - elderly people especially can have very weak bladders. There seem to be no "rules" as to who can use it and who can't. If it's a question of if you don't use it then you're going to have an accident then that could apply to anyone, of any age, disabled or not.

Some people on these threads say tough, if you're not registered disabled then you should have planned your toileting better / stick to places with more lavatories. Others say if it's going to stop an accident then use it, irrespective of whether you are registered or not.

So it's all a bit tricky, frankly.

Gster just bang on the door and ask the women inside if they mind you bringing in your little girl for a wee. Most people would be okay with that. I've taken my children in the mens, when the queue at the ladies has been really long and the mens loos were empty. I preferred doing that to going in the disabled loos/risking my toddler not being able to hold on.

"While some of you might be happy to leave your babies outside the cubicle, I am not."

I am not either. But the last time that I expressed that on one of these threads, I was treated like I'd just announced that I regularly spoonfeed my DS dogshit for dinner.

Oh Lord not this again

"a lot of men might just feel uncomfortable about a small girl being in the mens toilets though"

Why? Because they don't want to be seen naked? Why might it be worse to be seen by a small girl for a few seconds rather than a small boy or all the other male strangers? Or is it because of all the paedophile hysteria we're faced with at the moment?

Not trying to be argumentative, I just genuinely don't understand.

True bunting.

Someone I know works at a bus station, the toilet doors are straight onto the station - people milling around and queueing and going about their business. A woman asked my friend for the key thing to the disabled one as she had a pushchair and she didn't want to leave it outside on the busy concourse unattended. He said fine. I mentioned it on one of these threads and a lot of people said that he should have told her no. I think that is extreme TBH. But then a lot of people on these threads do get extreme.

It wouldn't bother me if DP took our 3 year old DD into the gents with him while out and about. However the one time he has done this she threw a massive strop because she wanted to pee in the urinals I have no idea why either. strange little lunatic. After dragging her out while she flailed about hysterically screeching that she wanted to "wee wee in the basin like them other people daddeeeee!" much to the amusement/bemusement of the guys in the gents, he said never again. Dunno what he does with her now.

As I already said though, it is a toilet that is suitable for wheelchair access, it doesnt mean that only people in wheelchairs can use them. They are there to give wheelchair users the same freedom that able bodied people have.

bupcakes, I'll take the flaming, because I will always do what I think is right for my children. Wrt this, I don't care if other people think I'm over protective or selfish.

Not what I've been told squeakytoy.

The law says that certain premises have to have a disabled toilet, it does not specify who can and cant use it.

a very good point squeakytoy!

Tbh I think some people go over the top trying to include disabled people. All most of them want is to be treated like everyone else. I think it's unfair to assume that because someone is disabled they can't wait for the toilet, or that only disabled people have incontinence issues. Disabled toilets are designed to have more space and equipment not to be free at all times. I wouldn't agree with using a disabled toilet for no reason other than convenience or rushing in infront of a disabled person, but if there is a genuine reason eg not feeling comfortable taking a dd in the men's toilets I don't think it's the worst thing you can do!

Squeakytoy
No, they are not purely for people in wheelchairs. They are for those with a physical or mental disability that means using a normal loo is either extremely difficult or plain impossible.

Disabled is not = wheelchair

Accessible toilets have to be certain specifications to allow for a wheelchair and carer to fit into them. They have to have specific accessories such as grab rails.

You are doing nothing wrong by being a man taking his daughter for a pee pee in a disabled/accesible toilet.

They are there to make facilities accesible to those that have difficulty with the standard toilets.

There is no hard and fast rule for this, because some establishments call them accesible, some call them disabled.

Squeaky is right on the law. An accessible toilet has to be provided by certain places, but it does not have to be for the exclusive use of disabled people, hence many places with limited space double it up as a change room etc.

The disabled sign therefore means suitable for disabled people, not for their exclusive use.

It's a totally different kettle of fish to (eg) disabled parking where you have to be registered disabled to use that space.

Yes exactly mmelindor so an old lady with a weak bladder or a young person with the squits or a child which is going to wet itself has no business going in there.

You have to be registered disabled to use them.

Right? Or not right?

I would never leave my son outside a toilet cubicle either.

Gster, just curious, if you had a 2.5 year old son would you take him in the gents?