to suggest that my sister could cover boobs with a scarf....

[chocolatehobnobs]

Sister has 2 DC 2 and 5 months. I am pg. She reckons she is the world expert on child rearing, never afraid to comment on other's parenting. We went for lunch at the weekend at Wagamama's. Staff were lovely and helpful offered highchair etc sis was vocally demanding a certain table and being a bit precious IMO. We were sitting next to 6 young guys (same table) Sis whips boob out and BF baby. I (and our neigbours who were eating) could see boob, dripping nipple. When she announced loudly that baby had bitten nipple I offered to pass her a scarf to save the boys blushes. She refused and said she was often complimented on being a good role model for BF. AIBU to want to do things differently or is she right?

[Teenytiny]

yeah sadly some people made a huge deal about breastfeeding, you would think you were pouring poisen down your babies throat. imo i aint looking for anyones opinion, to me its best and its what i want to do (nothing wrong with ff btw)

people dont have to pass judgement on how you choose to feed your baby.
i'd be the first to say well done to people who breastfed i know how hard it can be.

[chocolatehobnobs]

Well thanks for all your views. For the record, I don't have a major problem with breast feeding at home or in public and am intending to BF myself. Clearly this was not an ideal restaurant to choose as it was busy and we had to share a table. I take on board your views that it may be difficult to be discreet (this view actually puts me off wanting to BF in public) My issue was that sister did not seem to be considerate to other people (fellow diners or the busy staff) which made eating out together stressful and embarassing for me.
This is just my sister in general which is another story but part of my annoyance. For example she does not take a bag with beaker, spoon or a book/toy for her toddler when going out and expects waiters to run backwards and forwards for her fetching things while her toddler is bored and more noisy than necessary. (I do understand that toddlers will be noisy before you jump on this!)
Another time she arrived in the bar area of a smart hotel where our family stayed for the weekend, she immediately tipped open her suitcase all over the floor to pull out a football for my nephews which was a present, dangled one child upside down by the ankles so that he screamed loudly and then encouraged the little boys to play football around other diners. In many ways she is a great mum - very attentive, full of energy, really bright funny toddler who I love. She has breastfed for around 18 months now and is very comfortable or I wouldn't have said anything. You are right that I felt a little uncomfortable but my feelings are valid and I did feel for the young guys who could hardly avoid noticing due to the close proximity, loudness and long time her boobs were exposed. I think that she might have turned her back on the young guys sitting at the same table or made some attempt to cover herself. Well we all have our opinions!

[Teenytiny]

I agree with you op...... i myself wouldnt/couldnt/didnt lol.... breastfeed with boobs out for all to see. personally i wouldnt feel comfortable and would feel rather undignified. i dont think there is any need to, and personally wouldnt feel comfortable if someone did that right in front of me. but if you at least try and make an effort to be discreet then thats half the battle

[BooyHoo]

no, she shouldn't have to turn her back or hide herself. those men have control of their eye muscles. BF will only become less awkward by people becoming more used to seeing it in public, and that means seeing nipples, hearing gurgling sounds, seeing milk drip and the baby fussing. BF is not a programme you tell the baby to do and it does. BF is as different for each mother as their babies are. if people continue to hide themselves or others continue to make mothers feel embarassed then BF will not ever be the norm.

[kitbit]

Am I spectacularly missing the point here? To me the OP was more annoyed at her sister because she was deliberately making a drama out of breastfeeding. As someone else said, there's feeding in public and there's feeding in public. If faced with a whole restaurant who would accept a table next to 6 young lads unless you wanted to make a point? It's almost daring someone to make a fuss or be embarrassed so that you can get on your high horse about breastfeeding in public.

She sounds attention seeking and I'm sorry everyone else but OP YANBU. (Where is the OP??!)

[BooyHoo]

OP said teh place was busy. maybe they had no choice in where they sat. maybe teh 6 boys arrived after OP and her sister.

[kitbit]

Oh...she came back while I posted...left...and finished

[chocolatehobnobs]

I just posted Kitbit - see above (I have been working today). You are right about the point I'm making.

[RitaMorgan]

No one has ever said anything negative to me about breastfeeding, no one has ever stared. Maybe this means most people can control themselves around a glimpse of breast, and seeing a nipple isn't the worst thing in the world after all.

[LadyOfTheCuntryManor]

"My issue was that sister did not seem to be considerate to other people (fellow diners or the busy staff) which made eating out together stressful and embarassing for me."

Yes, it's YOUR issue. Good for her. She should be able to feed where ever she likes, if YOU'RE embarrassed then look elsewhere.

[chocolatehobnobs]

No need to shout 'lady'. Do you shout at waitresses too? You'd have a lot in common with my sister I was embarrassed that she was inconsiderate not because she breastfed.

[Honeybee79]

Your sister sounds like a massive pain the arse. Not because of the bfeeding issue but because of the other stuff you mentioned and her precious attitude.

I doubt anyone would notice or care about her bfeeding but I bet she wants the entire bloody world to revolve around her.

[diggingintheribs]

I don't know what your sister did but I see where you are coming from.

I have no problem with breastfeeding in public, did it myself. And yes, sometimes you may show more than you planned. When it comes to a contest between hungry baby and flashing a boob, the former always takes priority. Someone would have to really be staring to get a good eye full.

However, I have a friend who would happily expose both breasts while feeding, so the one not being 'used' was there for all to see. And this did make people uncomfortable because it was unnecessary nudity!

It always made me think of Austin Powers and the mole with the mole!

[LadyOfTheCuntryManor]

Inconsiderate to who? The poor people who didn't want to see her feed her child?

[Teenytiny]

I have no issue with breastfeeding, i have no issue with doing in public i just dont think its nessisery to get the whole boob out for all to have a good look...... I breastfed DD2 in public many times and many different places and always managed to breastfeed discreetly. i would feel comfortable having my boobs out, im not sure why anyone else would, you dont need to do it and i myself would feel rather undignified!..

[Teenytiny]

diggingintheribs i agree with you getting both boobs out whats that all about?? lol....NOONE has an issue with feeding their baby in public its that they are getting their boobs out in public for all to see.........you can be discreet so why not do it?

[petisa]

i used to live in a hot country where most women would be wearing spaghetti straps in the summer months, and so i often saw mummy friends revealing a whole boob to feed their babies with their summer tops on. their shoulders and chest would be bare too so quite a lot of skin on show. didn't look strange or startling to me or anyone else - no-one batted an eyelid. just looked normal and natural and very un-newsworthy.

and as for Haughty's "but dripping nipple eurgh, not in a place where people are eating." Are you serious or joking? If serious, hahahahahaha! And It's only milk you know! Is it really that disgusting to you that it shouldn't be in the same room as people eating??

[EggyAllenPoe]

assassinates enemies with squirt of milk<

smuggles drugs in feeding bra<

extorts money with threat of exposed nipple!<

truly, i am one of breastfeeding mafia.

[petisa]

[Teenytiny]

what is the breastfeeding mafia?

[hairfullofsnakes]

Did she intentionally flap her boob about? I bf but am very discreet and never flap my breasts about!

[EggyAllenPoe]

flap around?

my boobs could be used as a deadly weapon, a la James Bond baddy-chick.

[cherrysodalover]

Power to her. I love it being so open and more women may get permission from people like her not being so uptight and victorian. Wait till you have your baby and see how easy it isn't always to cover your boobs- unless you intend to formula feed...now there's a solution.

[Teenytiny]

cherry....thats not true it is easy to cover your boobs whilst breastfeeding, okay so maybe occasionally you might get very slight boob by accident. but its pretty easy to feed without having to get the whole boob out to see. you master how to do it discreetly!!

[RitaMorgan]

I hate this whole thing about being "discreet". It's ok to breastfeed so long as no one ever sees any breast.