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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suggest that my sister could cover boobs with a scarf....

493 replies

chocolatehobnobs · 31/05/2011 22:13

Sister has 2 DC 2 and 5 months. I am pg. She reckons she is the world expert on child rearing, never afraid to comment on other's parenting. We went for lunch at the weekend at Wagamama's. Staff were lovely and helpful offered highchair etc sis was vocally demanding a certain table and being a bit precious IMO. We were sitting next to 6 young guys (same table) Sis whips boob out and BF baby. I (and our neigbours who were eating) could see boob, dripping nipple. When she announced loudly that baby had bitten nipple I offered to pass her a scarf to save the boys blushes. She refused and said she was often complimented on being a good role model for BF. AIBU to want to do things differently or is she right?

OP posts:
pushmepullyou · 01/06/2011 22:53

I have always found it to be a choice between:

a) 5 seconds of boobage
b) 20 minutes of wobbly tummy
c) fecking ages of fiddling and faffing, latching and unlatching and still ending up with either boob or belly out as my top arrangement comes adrift. And a frustrated, hungry baby, which is surely much more irritating to the dining public than option a)?

I don't see any particular need to be either 'discreet' or to advertise that I am bfing. I expect that probably most of the other people in the room have more interesting things to do with their time than to stare at me on the off chance they may catch a glimpse of nipple.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:54

well no for me i was more comfortable with c....and i didnt find it difficult to do it discreet

TimeWasting · 01/06/2011 22:54

We do do what we want! You are perfectly within your right to be discreet if that makes you feel comfortable, but you shouldn't expect anyone else to.

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 22:56

i still dont see what the problem is with seeing a boob? no-one has an issue with seeing a bottle or a spoon. why so a boob?

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:56

i dont care what you do show everyone your boobs if you want :/ :/

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 22:57

we dont show everyone our boobs!! we feed our babies and if someone catches a glimpse then so what??

RitaMorgan · 01/06/2011 22:58

If you just got on with it without judging anyone else Teenytiny, then no one would be arguing with you.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:59

anyways im not gonna argue all night about it.....it is possible for people to not want to see (and if they are sat right next to you its hard no to see) and it is possible for people to say its not nessisery. you would think id said breastfeeding was disgusting they way your all acting.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 23:00

no if you dont agree people argue with you...all i said was its not nessisery to get your whole boob out to feed. your all blowing it out of proportion

pushmepullyou · 01/06/2011 23:02

The thing is all options are OK, it's whatever works for you. Option a) works best for me as c) always seems like a massive performance. I have to do a lot of unusually public bfing at the moment as I have pretty much foregone my maternity leave but have an ebf 11 week old, which means I have to bf at work, sometimes even in meetings.

Because I am bfing in a professional environment I am always a bit more deferential than when I am out and about, generally let people know that I'm going to feed him, that way they can step out of my office if they feel uncomfortable. It is very rare that anyone does.

In the wider world though I find it most hassle free for all concerned to get on with feeding as quickly as possible with minimal performance. A quick boob over the top of the vest top and the baby latched on as quickly as possible works for me and many others. It is only a boob, and that is what they are for.

TimeWasting · 01/06/2011 23:02

It's also possible that people not wanting to see it is irrelevant.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 23:03

Just to clarify do you all get your whole boob out in public so that everyone would see and its not discreet at all??or do you try to be discreet and sometimes show a little boob ie a little skin???

Graciescotland · 01/06/2011 23:03

I remember the days when I could cover DS with a scarf, now he will drag anything covering him off, refuse to latch on and paw at me unless an, damn near, entire boob is out and bob off and on at every little noise/ to smile at passers by/ grab stuff off table

Complete PITA tbh hopefully your baby is better behaved and your not regretting being so judgey next year :)

TimeWasting · 01/06/2011 23:04

Teeny, have you actually seen a woman 'whip out' her entire breast when feeding in a public place?

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 23:05

what do you mean hopefully my baby is better behaved and your not regretting being so judgy next year?? personally if my baby was like that i still wouldnt feel comfy getting my whole boob out in public but thats me...

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 23:05

teeny no-one gets tehir boob out for everyone to see!! nobody does it. people get their boobs out to FEED their child. tehy don't do it for eberyone to see.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 23:06

yes i have timewasting....

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 23:07

and what does 'whipping' look like? how does one 'whip' a breast?

TimeWasting · 01/06/2011 23:07

Did the sky fall down?

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 23:08

erm no i just felt a bit uncomfortable when she was trying to talk to me...

Inertia · 01/06/2011 23:09

Not BF anymore, but when I was the amount of visible breast was dependent to a significant degree on the baby- whether she was grabbing, pulling clothes, distracted/latching on and off. It also depended a bit on what clothes I wore- on the couple of occasions I wore a normal bra by mistake it was all a bit of a tangle. I never usually needed to have much breast exposed- but some people do, and that's what works best for them in terms of feeding their baby.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 23:11

maybe i just feel uncomfortable cos i never did it and i wouldnt feel comfortable doing it...thats most likely... (when i say doing it i mean breastfeeding with boob out)

TimeWasting · 01/06/2011 23:11

Why did it make you feel uncomfortable?

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 23:11

did teh breast make a 'whipping' sound to draw attention to itself?

pushmepullyou · 01/06/2011 23:13

I usually wear a fairly low cut stretchy top and jacket/blazer. I lift the baby up to my chest and push my top down, which does unfetter my whole boob, but the baby's head is in front of it so it is not 'on display' unless you are standing directly above me. My other boob is chastly covered throughout the whole event Grin

When he starts to un latch I flick my top back up and take him down. I expect that people watching can probably tell that my whole boob is out, but they can't really see much of it due to chunky baby head (baby's head on 91st centile, boobs still disappointingly small!).

If I don't push my top down below the boob horizon then it tends to ride back up and intereferes with feeding. Then he often unlatches suddenly without warning and whoever is sitting opposite me gets a surprise eyeful of milk, which is definitely not discrete Grin

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