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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suggest that my sister could cover boobs with a scarf....

493 replies

chocolatehobnobs · 31/05/2011 22:13

Sister has 2 DC 2 and 5 months. I am pg. She reckons she is the world expert on child rearing, never afraid to comment on other's parenting. We went for lunch at the weekend at Wagamama's. Staff were lovely and helpful offered highchair etc sis was vocally demanding a certain table and being a bit precious IMO. We were sitting next to 6 young guys (same table) Sis whips boob out and BF baby. I (and our neigbours who were eating) could see boob, dripping nipple. When she announced loudly that baby had bitten nipple I offered to pass her a scarf to save the boys blushes. She refused and said she was often complimented on being a good role model for BF. AIBU to want to do things differently or is she right?

OP posts:
Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:35

i just dont see why the way i described isnt comfortable

Inertia · 01/06/2011 22:35

I don't like coffee. The smell makes me feel ill. I'd be a damn fool to go to a cafe and try and impose my irrational feelings about coffee on the other patrons though.

TimeWasting · 01/06/2011 22:36

Being discreet is unnecessary.

Teeny, why do you think that being discreet is desirable?
Why is it better to put effort into hiding your breasts than just bloody well getting on with it?

RitaMorgan · 01/06/2011 22:36

I'm not comfortable lifting my top up. My baby isn't comfortable with a scarf over him. You can breastfeed anyway you like though.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:36

rita you talk about adult bout are on a public forum calling someone a moron for not liking that you choose to get your boobs out in public...grow up!!!

and i didnt say they are gross rude so get your facts right!!

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 22:37

because it isn't for some people. why cant you understand that no two people are teh same? should everyone feel exactly like you?

Inertia · 01/06/2011 22:37

Anyway, Teenytiny, about those exposed hands, don't think you've answered yet- can you make sure you cover them up with a shawl in future please? Discretion is all-important.

pushmepullyou · 01/06/2011 22:38

The thought of pulling my top up to reveal 8 inches of postnatal wobbly stretch marked stomach 'for all to see' is far more horrifying to me than the thought of pulling my top down to reveal a quick flash of boob before the baby latches on. Once his head is in the way there is no more revealed than in a low cut top.

I have tried the two tops, one up one down scenario, but it always results in me spending 5 minutes furtling in my own clothing trying to organise the layers (likely to draw far more attention to me, particularly when accompanied by a screamingly hungry baby). Plus the tops always seem to 'close up' half way through, interfering with his latch and often leading to more squawking or loud slurping noises and a sore nipple.

Now I just hold him in roughly the right area and flop (my boobs are not quite up to whipping Grin ) my boob over the top of my top. He latches on within a couple of seconds and minimises any potential trauma on the viewing public! Who tbh should be minding their own damn business.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:39

its no effort to hide them i just choose not to get my baps out.

hands are supposed to be seen in public

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:41

you cant expect people not to look if you have your baps out....

i never showed any belly either as i said mastered how to do it without showing boobs and belly

NellieForbush · 01/06/2011 22:42

lol pushmepullyou you are describing my clothing experiments!! I also lived in terror of exposing an expanse of wobbly, white, stretch marked tummy in public. I would rather flop a tit out anyday.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:43

i didnt have show tit or belly

mrsjohnsimm · 01/06/2011 22:43

But you wouldn't be looking (because you don't stare at women breastfeeding) so why would you feel a bit sick? And why do breasts make you feel sick anyway? Do you feel the same way about elbows or ankles or other random body parts?

I don't generally notice what people at other tables / even at the same table (e.g. in Wagamama) are doing; is that particularly unusual? Someone probably would have to be doing a tabletop dance with swinging nipple tassels before I noticed her breasts.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:44

well no i dont STARE at peoples boobs im not into women....but if someone sat right in front of me then OBV i would notice!

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:45

I dont see why your all making a huge deal.....just cos i dont agree clearly

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 22:46

teeny nobody was born with clothes on, we are all supposed to be naked, some people choose to cover their bodies. they do this in different ways. some only show their hands and face. some show their boobs. it isn't up to you to decide what is 'supposed' to be on show and what isn't. especially when it coems to something as vital as feeding a baby.

and your language is telling me exactly what you think breasts are for. 'baps'? FFS

TimeWasting · 01/06/2011 22:46

And breasts are supposed to be seen in public when breastfeeding.

Have you got a video of yourself demonstrating this mastery of discreet public BF on youtube? We are all clearly incompetent and need you to teach us.

Alternatively, how about, we don't a fuck if boob is visible when breastfeeding?

TimeWasting · 01/06/2011 22:48

give a fuck a clearly. Which I don't.

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 22:48

teeny the ones making a huge deal are teh people insisting BFing mothers faff about with 64 layers of clothing before attempting to feed tehir baby!!

RitaMorgan · 01/06/2011 22:50

I don't care if other people see my breast when I'm breastfeeding

If other people care, then it's up to them to avert their gaze.

If you don't like it, don't look.

Inertia · 01/06/2011 22:50

Teenytiny, so you've decided which bits of the body are "supposed to be seen in public", have you? Clearly an awful lot of people are quite happy with , or totally indifferent to, breasts being shown in public, regardless of whether you think they are supposed to.

Your way is not the only way.

Spudulika · 01/06/2011 22:50

"you cant expect people not to look if you have your baps out...."

Move to Norway and nobody will bat an eyelid.

But then we're English and we're smutty and breast-fixated so I suppose we are going to behave in a stupid way when we see someone breastfeeding.

Don't think it's right to pander to people's smutty fixations do you?

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:51

i dont know never wore 64 layers of clothing.....

and if i thought boobs were purely for sex i wouldnt have breastfed would i

jesus chris someone dont get their "breasts" out when the feed and they get this shit!!! do what you want fs

BooyHoo · 01/06/2011 22:52

i dont think any of us need your permission do do what we want but er, thanks anyway for the entertainment.

Teenytiny · 01/06/2011 22:52

what are you lot on about??? i dont know i dont buy nuts to stare at tits