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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Diabetic people injecting at the meal table whilst people are still eating?

196 replies

KatieWatie · 31/05/2011 11:49

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable about this or not. I haven't said anything or done anything, but I'm a bit Hmm about it. I don't want to get accused of being unsympathetic.

It is my BIL, who I can't stand and he likes to make a big show of his various ailments, so maybe I'm being really unfair because of how I generally feel about him anyway. It's not done in a quiet way, he gets his wife to come round the table to do it and insists on showing off the needle, talking about it etc.

What do other diabetic people do?

I'm due to (reluctantly) go on holiday with them in a few weeks and I'm dreading every meal time (dreading the whole thing tbh but that's another story). My mum suggests I just walk away but then I think I would get thought of as precious.

OP posts:
Eglu · 31/05/2011 11:51

YANBU, that seems rather rude. There is no need to be doing it at the dinner table and certianly no need to make a show of it. I wouldn't like it either.

mousymouse · 31/05/2011 11:53

I think yab a little u.
should he inject himself in the toilet?
my diabetic friend injects herself at the table (but doesn't make a big show of it).

LordOfTheFlies · 31/05/2011 11:54

All the diabetic (insulin) people I know just whip out their Novopens and inject themselves. Bleurgh.

Thank you to the person who obviously did this on the bus( or maybe it fell out of their bag/pocket) and my children found the insulin syringe. Luckily they didn't pick it up because I don't let them pick up stray things.

FWIW I don't take my contact lenses out at the table.Not a spectator sport.

280169 · 31/05/2011 11:55

my mum has to inject for chrons, she goes to the bathroom and does it discreetly yanbu

GeekCool · 31/05/2011 11:55

I think YABU. Should he have to hide it? I think your dislike of him is driving your distate of his actions.

Original poster
KatieWatie · 31/05/2011 11:56

Mousy that's why I wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable or not - I recognise there's nowhere else to go when you're out and about (having said that, he also does it at the meal table at home when we are round there, so that argument doesn't really stand).

When the time comes for me to BF, if I was comfortable about doing it in front of him which I'm not, I wouldn't be making a big thing about whipping my bosoms out at the table and showing everyone my nipples. Maybe I should Hmm

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 31/05/2011 11:56

I suppose if someone had a massive phobia of needles, he would be a bit unreasonable making a big show of the needle but otherwise it is a necessary thing to do and not any of your business where he does it. I don't think people with disabilities should hide themselves away because you find it distasteful.

youmeatsix · 31/05/2011 11:56

just be glad he doesnt have to use suppositories??

no, its not something that should be made a show of, he could still do it at the table, but very discreetly

Rapaccioli · 31/05/2011 11:56

YANBU but you ABU to go on holiday with such a thoughtless and rude man if you don't want to. Whatever happened to choice? Are you an adult? Or are you a child who must go on a holiday with her siblings?

I'm perfectly sympathetic to diabetics - my Great Nan was one, as is a very dear friend. I'm also squeamish and pass out at the sight of needles. To see someone injecting at the dinner table would quite possibly make me vomit... ask him if that's alright too, since it's related to health?

His behaviour is inconsiderate and in bad taste and I would tell him so outright. If he refused to adapt his behaviour out of courtesy to fellow diners he would stop being a guest of mine, I would stop attending meals in his company and I'm damn sure I wouldn't be going on holiday with him.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 31/05/2011 11:57

Yanbu. There is no need to make a big fuss, demand everyone's attention and brandish the needle with a flourish. Dare you to bend over the table and ask your DH to apply your anusol between courses.

whitechocolatebuttons · 31/05/2011 11:58

with some types of insulin you have to eat pretty much immediately after having it so dining table or kitchen is a good place but it can be done discreetly (no one was aware when i did it while i had GD) . sounds like he wants a gold medal for bravery IMO

MissTinaTeaspoon · 31/05/2011 11:59

Yabu for expecting him to hide away somewhere to give himself the injection.

Yanbu to expect him to do it discreetly. He doesn't need to make a song and dance about it! We were at the next table in a restaurant to a man with some injectable medicine (I'm assuming insulin) and if he hadn't been directly in my eyeline I wouldn't have even noticed.

Original poster
KatieWatie · 31/05/2011 11:59

"I think your dislike of him is driving your distate of his actions." Yeah I thought this too, although mixed reactions here I notice.

I'm not asking him to hide it or do it in the toilet (I'm not actually asking him to do anything), I'm just not sure it's necessary to do it so obviously "LOOK AT ME I'M INJECTING INSULIN OVER HERE!!!", and perhaps wait til people have stopped eating before he starts flashing the needle around.

OP posts:
Riveninside · 31/05/2011 12:00

Yabu. I onse had some numpty saying dd souldnt have her tube feed while others were eating at the tabl. Its your/their problem. Dont look

CMOTdibbler · 31/05/2011 12:00

I have no objection to people doing it at the table - you don't need to see the needle or any flesh, but theres no need for a big fuss. Everyone I know who has to inject does it swiftly and so discreetly you'd never know they were doing it

CravingExcitement · 31/05/2011 12:00

I think it's a bit horrible to be so disgusted by something like this, which has to be done. It would never have occurred to me that someone would object. I'm not diabetic by the way, but have seen plenty of people taking their insulin, and it doesn't seem to me to be an offensive thing, or something that should be hidden.

Babieseverywhere · 31/05/2011 12:01

He needs his medicine, only you will know if he is making a big fuss around it or not. Maybe he is trying to be helpful and explain what he is doing to make you feel better ?

TBH I have a BIL and a good friends husband who both inject insulin. I can't remember seeing either of them actually do it ! They both have dial injection pens and do it themselves. Maybe you could suggest your BIL gets one, apparently they are much easier than a traditional needle and would allow him to inject himself with no input from his wife.

Alternatively maybe mention to your BIL that his needles make you feel off colour and would he please ignore you when/if you have to leave the table whilst he gets his insulin.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 31/05/2011 12:01

I think he's NBU to do it at the table, but I don't think it's that bit that bothers you is it? It's that ' he gets his wife to come round the table to do it and insists on showing off the needle, talking about it etc.' So YANBU. To do the whole explaining thing, showing the needle, once should be enough. If he does it every time you eat with him it's not medical it's attention seeking.

ratspeaker · 31/05/2011 12:01

Why are you going on holiday together if you don't like him?
For me a holiday is to be enjoyed

Personally I have no problem with someone injecting themselves, but it does seem rather odd to show off the needles then get someone else to do the injection its very look at ME, look at ME
My diabetic friend has been known to say I'll need to inject do you mind? She'll then discretely do it
But then she's got CLASS

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 31/05/2011 12:01

(Obviously the insulin is necessary.)

noddyholder · 31/05/2011 12:02

If you liked him you wouldn't mind.

SardineQueen · 31/05/2011 12:02

It depends where he's injecting himself I think.

If it's a bit that's normally exposed and the person doesn't make a hoo-hah about it then fine, no-ones probably going to even notice.

It sounds like he is making a production number of it though so on those grounds YANBU.

BooyHoo · 31/05/2011 12:02

well, i see no reason for him NOT to inject at the table. it is a needle and skin, nothing gross about it and he has a nedical need.

BUT

i also see no reason why he even mentions what he is doing. there doesn't need to be a running commentary. take needle out, inject, put away. done. i have friends who just carry on teh conversation tehy are having while doing it. no-one bats an eyelid. if they started talking about the size of teh needle etc i think people would find that strange. no-one needs to know or even cares. (unless tehy ask of course)

KnitterInTheNW · 31/05/2011 12:02

It's not on for him to make such a big fuss of it, however I always do mine at the dinner table as soon as I've finished eating or in the middle. Always discreetly and under the table . I've been insulin dependent since I was 3, and I'm 36 now. TBH it's so much just something I do automatically 4 times a day, it doesn't occur to me that it isn't a normal thing for everyone!

Original poster
KatieWatie · 31/05/2011 12:03

Rapaccioli Yeah long story that one. Not my siblings but my DH's. I've fought the battle long and hard, and lost.

OP posts: