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AIBU?

Diabetic people injecting at the meal table whilst people are still eating?

196 replies

KatieWatie · 31/05/2011 11:49

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable about this or not. I haven't said anything or done anything, but I'm a bit about it. I don't want to get accused of being unsympathetic.

It is my BIL, who I can't stand and he likes to make a big show of his various ailments, so maybe I'm being really unfair because of how I generally feel about him anyway. It's not done in a quiet way, he gets his wife to come round the table to do it and insists on showing off the needle, talking about it etc.

What do other diabetic people do?

I'm due to (reluctantly) go on holiday with them in a few weeks and I'm dreading every meal time (dreading the whole thing tbh but that's another story). My mum suggests I just walk away but then I think I would get thought of as precious.

OP posts:

Report

KatieWatie · 31/05/2011 17:38

The amount of people who haven't read my post properly and are twisting my words to tell me I'm saying it should be hidden away, done in the loo etc etc has staggered me!

I don't have any tune to change, I know exactly how I feel about this issue. Injecting discreetly at the table, fine and totally understandable. Showing me the needle and generally attention seeking about the whole thing whilst I'm still eating so it becomes a huge issue, not really fine but (AS STATED NUMEROUS TIMES) if this is normal and necessary then fair enough. This is why I made the post, to find out if it was normal and necessary! I think the mix of opinions on here says it all.

Good grief how awful it must be to see someone as evil and horrible just for asking for opinions and anecdotes on an area unfamiliar to them! I give up.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 31/05/2011 17:39

FIL just used to stab himself through his trousers in restaurants. No fuss and you'd never notice.

Your BIL is not unreasonable to do it at the table, he is unreasonable to act like a pompous arse about it.

To those who would object to diabetics injecting at the table just look away FGS. Out of interest, would you also object to breastfeeding at the table? That is a necessary act too.

ShinyMoonInAPurpleSky · 31/05/2011 17:42

Where does he inject the needle on his body? My mum takes her insulin in either her thigh or her stomach depending on how bruised she is in a particular place and this makes a difference to whether she does it at the table or not.

If it's her stomach she does it at the table, unless we are in a restaurant. But if it's her thigh she always leaves the table because she'd have to take her trousers down on nobody wants that at the table lol!

belgo · 31/05/2011 17:42

Soupdragon unfortunately this thread has attracted posters who think that injections should not be carried out at the table, and who also think that bfing should not be carried out at the table. So yes, unfortunately there are people who think like that.

Scholes34 · 31/05/2011 17:48

I'm sure the OP realises she's being a little bit unreasonable to let herself be bothered by the injecting at the table. Perhaps if you're away for a period of time, there's only so much of a song and dance BIL can make of this at mealtimes. With a bit of luck he might be fitted with a pump before too long, then it won't be an issue any more, but you'll get very good at carb counting for him!

TidyDancer · 31/05/2011 17:51

The assumption being that you think I haven't tried in the past belgo?

It's not fun having a needle phobia, even less fun when people think you can just cure it. You can't. I appreciate you may not have meant your post to come off like that, but phobias can be debilitating and not easily cured.

It wouldn't be enough for me to look away, I would have to leave the room. Which I would do btw, happily.

TidyDancer · 31/05/2011 17:52

No problem with BFing, just to be clear!

OxyMoron · 31/05/2011 17:52

Diabetes etiquette card

Hth

MrsKitty · 31/05/2011 18:27

Wow, as a person fairly recently diagnosed with Type One Diabetes this thread has made me completely and utterly self conscious.

Since diagnosis I've always injected 'at the table', whether at home, or out to eat, for a few reasons. As others have said, it's necessary to 'count carbs' to know how much to inject, which is impossible without seeing the food first. Also, having 2 young children would make it one hell of a palaver to go to the loo or elsewhere to inject before my meal as It'd mean uprooting them too (because even if I were with another adult, you can bet your life they'd want to come with me), and to be honest, after breastfeeding out and about (because, yes, I fretted over that on more than one occasion), popping a tiny needle into my thigh or tummy is really not something I even thought to bat an eyelid over as far as 'being discrete' goes.

So there I was thinking it wasn't a big deal, and that nobody would notice, or care if they did, until I saw this thread. Now I'll be worrying that I'm offending or disgusting someone next time I'm enjoying a meal out, or a picnic in the park, or whatever...because having diabetes isn't enough of a pain in the arse or stressful enough already.

TidyDancer · 31/05/2011 18:29

MrsKitty, despite my needle phobia, I would have no issue with you injecting at the table, I would just appreciate that you accept my need to get up from the table. Does that make sense? I hope my leaving would not affect you, but I would need to leave.

xstitch · 31/05/2011 18:32

Oh don't think that misskitty as long as you don't boast about it nobody reasonable will object.

KnitterInTheNW · 31/05/2011 18:41

Honestly mrskitty, don't worry about it... You're right, being diabetic is a complete pain in the arse, and we don't need extra things like that to worry about. As an adult I've never had anyone comment because I'm discreet and fairly quick. Sometimes I get an 'ooo is that your injection? You said it looked like a pen but I'd never have guessed it was anything else' as I'm putting it back in my bag all put together after injecting.

Megatron · 31/05/2011 18:52

The attitudes of some people on this thread worry the life out of me. DD is T1 diabetic and I have given her her injection at the table before when we've been out. I never in a million years thought anyone would have a problem with it. I'm always very discreet and don't make a big thing of it - Sheon the other hand will shout 'I have diabetes, mummy is giiving me my jab' at the top of her voice to anyone who will listen, but she is 4 and to her it's just part of her life.

Regardless of what anyone thinks, I will never teach her to hide away her condition. Having T1 is not her fault, nor does it mean that she should be embarrassed or self conscious is any way. As she gets older I'm sure the normal teenage hormones will make her self conscious enough but I will certainly not add to that for her.

T1 diabetes is a horrible condition and bad enough without worrying about little things like this. And I speak as someone with a (former) needle phobia.

reelingintheyears · 31/05/2011 19:03

It's not about hiding a medical condition or being ashamed of a medical condition but not everyone wants to see medical procedures being performed.
Particularly not at the dinner table.
I wouldn't take medication at the table nor would i administer my own insulin at the table/in public.
Unless it's in an emergency.

As a matter of routine diabetes management i think an adult should be better prepared than to have to do this at the table.

reelingintheyears · 31/05/2011 19:05

Perhaps i should have said 'a sensible adult who is not an attention seeker'.

VivaLeBeaver · 31/05/2011 19:10

I think if he was discreet then yabu, he will need to inject when eating. But he's an arse to make a show of it. I. Have a friend who injects at the table but you'd hardly notice

ScarletOHaHa · 31/05/2011 19:11

If the injection was done discretely, then fine. My OH is needle phobic and would vomit at a song and dance.
YANBU to be annoyed at your BiL acting like an attention seeking baby. I would say something about his weird and annoying behaviour.

diddl · 31/05/2011 19:11

I always thought that you were supposed adjust your carbs to the insulin-just shows how much I know

gasman · 31/05/2011 19:20

reeling in the years
as others have said modern insulin has to be taken just before you eat as it starts to work really quickly. In addition, diabetics with good control, ie those who get fewest side effects and suffer least from their condition, will adjust their insulin dose according to what they are eating. Sometimes as mentioned above people will calculate insulin requirements / course.

Learning how to do that is difficult and despite my own medical training I truly hadn't appreciated how difficult it is until I watched a close friend going through it. She is a fellow doctor and it would probably still say that she is learning how to manage her blood sugar 5 years after diagnosis. The size of a portion of pasta in a restaurant can have a dramatic difference, so I am told, on how much insulin she needs to take.

Because of these restrictions it is very difficult/impractical to not take insulin/ blood sugar readings at the table. Modern injection kits, as others have mentioned are pen devices, very discrete and you don't see the needle.

Diabetes is a huge problem and carries high morbidity and mortality. I think society as a whole should welcome responsible diabetic behaviour as it is better for the individual and cheaper for society as a whole. The more socially acceptable it becomes the easier it will be for people to live with.

gasman · 31/05/2011 19:22

diddl
That used to be the case but just imagine how inflexible that is. Much better to adjust the insulin to the food although it does mean you end up injecting more and if you get it wrong ie. you overdose with insulin you do have to eat to keep up.

My friend mentioned above has the best collection of cereal bars, snacks in their car, handbag, house that I have ever seen!

reelingintheyears · 31/05/2011 19:29

Gasman.
'It's not done in a quiet way, he gets his wife to come round the table to do it and insists on showing off the needle, talking about it etc.'

It may be the case that a pen device can be used discretely.

That is not what the OP was describing.

breathing · 31/05/2011 19:31

diddl it depends on your insulin type...fixed and mixed insulins v basal bolus regimens.

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KnitterInTheNW · 31/05/2011 19:34

Can I just ask to the posters who would object to someone injecting at their table: have you actually seen a novopen which is what I assume most diabetics use now? The needles that I use are 6mm long, and very fine. We're not talking about someone drawing insulin up into a hypodermic syringe and brandishing an inch long needle.

Zingylemontart · 31/05/2011 19:36

My dad has had diabetes for over 40 years. At home, he knows how much he'll be eating, so can inject before the meal is served. However, in restaurants he has to wait and see. He injects in his leg or stomach at home, but out & about he has someone else inject in his arm. The only song and dance that's made is because my 7 year old DD likes to do it for him! As others have said, YWBU to object to your BIL injecting at the table, but not UR to be hacked off at his drama queen antics.
I feel quite sorry for you, OP, you seem to be getting a bit unfairly slated.

pigletmania · 31/05/2011 19:38

Where else are they supposed to inject . As long as its done discretely without any flag waving or fanfare so be it. Some people are saying that diabetics should not be injecting on a bus , if they need insulin, they need insulin or they will die wherever it may be fgs

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