Diabetic people injecting at the meal table whilst people are still eating?

[KatieWatie]

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable about this or not. I haven't said anything or done anything, but I'm a bit about it. I don't want to get accused of being unsympathetic.

It is my BIL, who I can't stand and he likes to make a big show of his various ailments, so maybe I'm being really unfair because of how I generally feel about him anyway. It's not done in a quiet way, he gets his wife to come round the table to do it and insists on showing off the needle, talking about it etc.

What do other diabetic people do?

I'm due to (reluctantly) go on holiday with them in a few weeks and I'm dreading every meal time (dreading the whole thing tbh but that's another story). My mum suggests I just walk away but then I think I would get thought of as precious.

[FellatioNelson]

I don't think it's an appropriate thing to so at the meal table at all, irrespective of how well he knows the people he is eating with.

[PeachesandStrawberry]

OP.

As a type 1 Diabetic I inject at the table sometimes. I did not think that it would be a problem.

YABU for not liking it

YANBU for wanting your BIL to not make a song and dance about it.

[KnitterInTheNW]

I thought it was only the song and dance that OP objected too, not the actual injection.

[MrsKitty]

tidydancer, I appreciate what you are saying, and no, you leaving the table would not affect me. Tbh, if you were there and I knew you had a phobia then I'd make an effort to make sure you weren't uncomfortable.

Thanks also to those of you who've said not to worry, I'll take that on board and just hope I don't come across reeling at dinner anytime soon-I'd hate to be considered an "insensible attention seeker" .

And as for the OP, I think you've been a little unfairly slated as I think it was really the song and dance you were objecting to, i'm just shocked by some of the attitudes on this thread.

[oldraver]

No I dont think he should have to hide away but... my Mum is very much like this a medical show off. She has an alarm on her phone that goes off at 8pm, that she doesnt turn off, just announces rather loudly "oh thats my Insulin alarm", it doesnt matter why we are, then starts faffing around with her injection for all to see.

[brambleschooks]

Will also add my voice to the op, yanbu to object at the song and dance, but yabu to object to insulin with meal at the table.

To all of you who object to people with diabetes (my own 11 y/o ds included) injecting discretely at the table then look to your own good fortune and think yourselves very lucky indeed if life never visits this type of illness on yourself or your loved ones. It is hard enough knowing that the only thing keeping my son alive is his insulin( he has an insulin pump and I'm about to go and change his canula), it is harder still to live with some of the attitudes of those around us.

[Kallista]

Tiredgranny - it wasn't necessary to respond to my post in rude shouty capitals. I have 2 friends' dads who take insulin (via pens). One takes the same doses daily as he finds it difficult to carb count - so he injects pre-meal.
The other is ace at carb counting so discreetly injects at the table. Personally if i saw the needle it wouldn't bother me. I asked him about the carb counting - it seems difficult to me but he copes well.
Diabetes is a scary chronic illness. But the way the OP is worded makes it sound like her BIL is attention seeking - whatever his reasons.

[Megatron]

brambleschooks I wholeheartedly agree with you. It breaks my heart that my DD will have to deal with this day in day out for the rest of her life, and whatever potential health problems she may have. That's why I don't want her to be made to feel as if she is doing something wrong by injecting herself with the medication that keeps her alive.

Reeling
'As a matter of routine diabetes management i think an adult should be better prepared than to have to do this at the table.'

Do you have T1 yourself? Genuine question and I ask that in a totally non inflammatory way but if you do you will know that it really does depend on the insulin regime you have as to whether you are able to be 'better prepared' or not. Some people have to adjust their insulin depending on what they choose to eat. I don't think they should have to scurry off and hide their injection once they have chosen their meal. It's not difficult to do discreetly.

I think this is the kind of subject that there will always be two camps and unfortunately there is still a great deal of ignorance about T1 diabetes and what it entails.

[tangarine]

Hear Hear brambles! (waves, we know each other from that other place)

LOTF, thank you. It was early morning where I am, and I wasn't sure if you were having a "it's PC gorn mad" kinda dig when I read your post. For the record:

DS has diabetes
DS is diabetic
DS is not a diabetic

[LisasCat]

If your BIL is anything like my mother, you have my sympathies. Her diabetes is an excuse to garner sympathy off everyone. She'll manage to crowbar it into conversation with total strangers within 3 minutes of meeting them. She is also perfectly capable of injecting herself discreetly without anyone even noticing but, depending on the company, will sometimes makes a big song and dance out of it (all members of family need to be reminded of how hard her life is).

She also leaves the disposable plastic bit from the blood sugar testing kit wherever she's done the test, so when she comes to visit I'll later find a dozen of these things lying around my house, sometimes a couple of feet from the nearest bin, despite the fact this is a tiny, sharp piece of plastic, that's had her blood on it, and I have a small child wandering around. It's bloody selfish, and it's her way of saying "oh poor me, look at the hand life has dealt me".

[hairfullofsnakes]

Yanbu to think it is wrong for people to inject at the table - I don't think they should hide it or go elsewhere and it would not cross my mind to think like that! But, I don't get why your BIL has to make a 'show' of it and this has probably coloured your judgement, which is understandable.

[Julesnobrain]

My dh is diabetic, he always injects at the table just before or in the middle of eating. It is completely discreet and takes about 10 seconds. Your BIL must be newly diagnosed surely to make such a childish fuss??? FYI my dh used to take insulin before his meal away from the table but once he injected in his hotel room, went down to breakfast and the lift got stuck !!! They had to prise open the doors and shove a biscuit through whilst they mended the lift. I was furious with him and now insist he waits until the food is there in front of him.

[iscream]

He's an attention seeker. Why doesn't he inject himself? Even my friends children inject themselves. Is this a new diagnosis for him and he is not used to it yet?
I would not pay any attention to him, talk to other people about something else and totally ignore his "show".
As you read, people do inject themselves at the table, but it is fast and takes a couple of secs. No need to make a big display.

I think you should ask him why he doesn't do his own injections, like everyone else does? Maybe you and your husband can plan to silently rise and leave the table every time he does this.
I know a few diabetics, 2 are kids, and several adults, and they never talk about it or carry on like that.
Your bil sounds like dweeb.

[diddl]

"you will know that it really does depend on the insulin regime"

But maybe a lot of people like me, thought that the standard was to inject a fixed amount of insulin & then eat an amount appropriate to that.

I always thought that increasing insulin so that you you could eat more carbs was bad as I thought it was best to try & keep weight pretty constant also.

[AlpinePony]

diddl You're right, it is "bad", but it's very common. Of course it all comes out in time and those who "cheat" by mis-using the insulin are more likely to come a cropper with cataracts/gangrene/kidney damage etc. It seems that understanding of diabetes is better now, but I remember as short ago as 88 that a doctor told my aunt to give my grandpa a "low-fat" diet rather than a "sensible carbs" one. :( My mum was diagnosed in 76 and was told to eat lots & lots of cereals & grains - she's paying for that now.

I spoke previously in the thread about mum needing to see the food first - and it's not just portion size and what the food actually is, but she also can't inject right after ordering in case the kitchen takes 90 minutes to produce the food. :(

[NestaFiesta]

YANBU sort of, OP. My husband is diabetic and injects in private. This is because he has to kind of pinch an inch and find a site with no scar tissue.
I often chat to him whilst he is doing it etc BUT when my MIL does it I have to leave the room. I don't know why, it's just something I really don't want to see.

I think in your BIL's case, OP, he is attention seeking and therefore his manners are not very polite.

I think the rule of thumb is that people shouldn't really get their bellies out at the table, diabetic or not. Discreetly injecting is soemthing I have no problem with, but I was of the belief that it shouldn't be done just before food but given a little while to work, but I may have that wrong.

[breathing]

diddl no, diabetes has come a long way since then. For type 1 diabetes, the best possible for control is where you adjust your insulin to what you are eating. DCCT trial for tight control and the NICE guidelines recommened this.

[TootTootLick]

LisasCat You should pick up one of the plastic things you talk about, hand it to her each time and say "put this in the bin please". Each and every time! If she carries on leaving them everywhere say "why would you leave something hanging around that is so sharp and dangerous to your grandchildren" whilst looking at her like she is mental.

[Megatron]

diddl

Not always, things have changed a lot as breathing says. It depends on other things too, such as they actual type of Insulin you are using. Some are fast acting, some medium, some slow release. Others (like my daughter's) is a mix of medium and fast acting.

Actually I don't think the OP is being unreasonable for not wanting her BIL to make a fuss as there's absolutely no need and he sounds like an eejit. I only take issue with anyone believing that people should hide away like they've done something wrong.

[MaybeTomorrow]

YANBU. I had GD and always had to do the injections in my thigh (didn't like the thought of doing it in the stomach - the other suggested place - when it was so close to my baby) so I would have had to whip down my trousers or pull up my skirt to do it - not sure that's entirely appropriate at the table!

I also had to eat immediately afterwards but still had time to go to the toilets (even in public places - shock horror!) to inject and usually made it back in time for the food arriving.

I must say though that I was quietly proud of myself for being able to do it! I'll never forget the tears when I was sat in the room at the hospital with a practice needle with them telling me to inject myself, just another thing you learn to master. Don't think I'll put it on my CV though...

[breathing]

Maybe tomorrow I once had a patient inject and return to find her meal was gone, another had to leave a dining hall due to a fire drill. Things happen.

[DartsRus]

My dad is diabetic; he is on the fixed daily dose regime.

My dd's best friend (aged 11) is also diabetic; she has pens and needs to inject varying amounts depending on the amount of carbs she has (If she's eating at our place I weigh her carbs as I serve up). The pens are handy, when she was younger I would administer the injection in her bum (she's small, it was the only place with enough fat) she now can do this herself as she has gained enough weight to use her leg (with me helping by holding her leg to create a firm enough base to inject).

My dd also helps her friend; she simply sees it as doing what best friends do! both girls are moving up to secondary after the summer, and the school has ensured that the girls are togethter, as dd will know after all these years if her friend needs some help; after all her new teachers have yet to get to know her.

DD's friend is as discreet as she can be at this stage, but she doesn't like a fuss so I keep everything matter of fact; she's a lovely girl.

[LisasCat]

toottoot you're absolutely right, and if I see her do it I bring it up. The problem is if she's at home with DD all day or evening, doing me and DP a favour so we can have time to ourselves, I then come home and find these things scattered all around, and it feels mean to nag her at the same time as thanking her for helping us out. But it does drive me to dristraction.

I think with her and possibly with the OP's BIL, the thing that bothers me the most is when it's made out that diabetes is the worst thing in the world that could have happened. Perhaps if she lived in a developing country, yes, but in the UK & US millions of people receive superb medical attention and their diabetes is controlled. I'm not saying she should consider herself lucky, because it is a crappy thing to have to cope with every day; just that diabetes isn't an illness that can be blamed for every little thing that goes wrong in your life, and used as an emotional weapon against friends and family.

[stealthsquiggle]

I have colleagues who are diabetic and inject at the table immediately before you eat - done in seconds, and not an issue IMHO - but the OP's BIL's pantomime of making his wife do it is unreasonable and attention seeking.