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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL calling the house at 11pm for bloody nothing, after being told multiple times

40 replies

yukoncher · 28/05/2011 23:11

I am fuming.
MIL once again calling at 11pm, at her leisure, I ignore it as I don't want to snap at her, she just came round to the house banging on the window, wants to know if I found a key I'd lost earlier. I can't actually believe it.
I just acted offish and she's gone home to get her spare key to our house to help us lock up. We live on a bloody farm, noone comes by here anyway.

She's rang after 12 midnight before aswell, then from 7am onwards!
I'm a light sleeper.
DH coyly asks her not to call so late or early, she ignores it. Then he goes 'oh it didn't work' and doesn't bother telling her again.
Arg
I'm so annoyed.

OP posts:
manicbmc · 28/05/2011 23:16

There was a similar thread the other day. I believe the general opinion on it was to unplug the phone and get calls diverted to a mobile.

bruxeur · 28/05/2011 23:16

Shoot her IN THE FACE.

You live on a farm, you have a shotgun. Is easy.

Then just bury her in slurry.

duckdodgers · 28/05/2011 23:18

Has she got dementia and has no concept of time maybe?

Thingumy · 28/05/2011 23:19

I'd go with bruxeurs suggestion.

That or call her at 5am to tell her not to call on you late or to ring you early,a little reminder like.

Is she pissed when she calls?

Original poster
yukoncher · 28/05/2011 23:28

LOL bruxeur, I always say, wouldn't matter what we tried, that bitch will not die.
She's physically disabled but far healthier than anyone in their mid 60s I've ever seen. I don't believe her mind is going, she just needs to be the boss.
Doesn't touch alcohol. Althought pissed phone calls might be more entertaining at least.

I have really considered calling at 4am to ask how she is.

I unplugged the phones last night and switched our mobiles off, much to DH'S protest. 'what if she needs us'.
She lives NEXT DOOR she'll be wacking her walking stick into the windows if it's that bad, if not there's 999.
I've gotta sleep.
Arg

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 28/05/2011 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Firawla · 28/05/2011 23:43

If dh won't tell her properly then tell her yourself?

gkys · 29/05/2011 06:25

love the 4am suggestion, you live next door you brave thing, I refused to look at a house on the same rd as my IL's . refuse to let her in speak to her at that time of the day,

PfftTheMagicDragon · 29/05/2011 06:49

Grin bruxeur what a marvellous suggestion. Nice to have a smile after being up so early.

Given her stubborn unwillingness to listen to your pathetic DH, I would suggest the following.

BiscuitBe blunt with her. Tell her that she is waking you up when she calls so late.

BiscuitIf that doesn't work, call her at 3am for a chat. Until she gets the point.

BiscuitOf course what you should do is get your H to gather his bollocks from around his knees and do the job properly. Is it a joke to him that you aren't getting a proper nights' sleep?

Animation · 29/05/2011 07:33

Pfft - I like biscuits for bullet points - Grin

YES - H needs to man up!

Icelollycraving · 29/05/2011 07:49

I feel yr pain. My mum has just called at 715. I've had the first ok nights sleep for weeks,only about half a dozen loo trips,was planning a lay in. Now I'm wide awake grrrrr

ledkr · 29/05/2011 07:51

Arent these blokes wimpish with their mums I think tell him to stop it happening or you will that should make him do it for fear of upsetting Mummy.
mY PIL used to ring really late-i was pg and have a young child. I snatched it up one night at 11 and said "hello" in my best worried voice,he asked if everything was ok,i told him that i had presumed not as the call was so late. They have stopped now or it could be because i "accidentally" trip over the phone cable around 9 most nights Grin

CoteDAzur · 29/05/2011 07:55

Is she lonely? Can you get her a dog or a cat?

Original poster
yukoncher · 29/05/2011 11:21

She's got a dog, two cats, has far more of a happening social life than me.
She's got plenty of friends.
But she will put a cry on about being lonely if she needs to.

Ugh, horrible emotional guilt trips she puts on us.

I'll stick with unplugging the phones. If DH plugged them back in I'll be taking a pair of scissors to the wires.

OP posts:
Original poster
yukoncher · 29/05/2011 11:35

She's on the phone now, complaining we didn't answer earlier, saying she needs DH to pick up her friend, even though she's got a car of her own, she's not feeling up to it, despite agreeing to take the friend back later.
DH is unwell, I'ts Sunday morning FGS.
I went to him and I said tell her about last night, not to do that again. He goes 'were you banging on the windows 11pm last night?' then goes; 'please don't, because the kids were sleeping' then carried on merrily talking to her.
He's told her in that way more than 5 times now.

MIL is a nightmare, we had a disagreement on discplining my son before (she was forcing him to sit on the stairs for practically nothing).
She slapped me, twice, nothing trying to interfear (and rescue my son) I didn't once go back for her cause I would never do that.
She said 'sorry' once and I'm expected to have forgiven her.
Then she's round here every day asking why I'm being offish with her.

Such a horrible horrible woman.

People say his ex left him because of her.

OP posts:
letsblowthistacostand · 29/05/2011 11:43

My FIL has not quite figured out how to work his mobile phone. We get calls at all hours that are just the sound of the pub and nothing else. Or he calls and leaves a message and then doesn't hang up so half an hour of him pottering around the house. Tis fun.

bellavita · 29/05/2011 11:47

Rule No 1 - never live next door to your MIL....

Yes there was a thread about a MIL phoning at 6.00 am every morning.

BelleEnd · 29/05/2011 11:52

She slapped you? And you and DH still speak to her? Shock

TidyDancer · 29/05/2011 11:53

She sounds horrible. And abusive. I wouldn't be next door to her if she was my MIL and she wouldn't have contact with my DCs. Anybody who unjustly punishes my child and hits me when I object is not worth the air they breathe.

StellaSays · 29/05/2011 11:54

FFS she slapped you Shock

Is there any way you can afford to move, not far, maybe to next town/village just out of range?

She sounds awful, you need to get really firm with her behavior.

pink4ever · 29/05/2011 12:02

Do you mean by "slapped me" that she actually assaulted you?. What did you do and more importantly what was your dhs reaction?. I am not particularly fond of my own mil but if she did that to me I would never speak to her again.

TheOriginalFAB · 29/05/2011 12:08

Just because someone is a relative doesn't give them the right to do stuff to you or yours that you wouldn't tolerate from anyone else.

ENormaSnob · 29/05/2011 12:19

Hells bells.

She physically assaulted you and you and your dh still speak to her?

I think you've married a rather pathetic mummys boy.

Original poster
yukoncher · 29/05/2011 12:22

She was walloping me on the upper armn, I had a strappy top on, she did that, I tried to protect my 4yo from seeing (who was hysterical) I shouted DH as he was in another room and she slapped me again, and DH grabbed her and dragged her away as she was going for me for the third time. DH toldf her he hated her and never wants to see her again. We wanted the kids car seats out of her car so we could get away for a few days, and she refused to let us get the seats.
I had raised hands prints in my arm for the rest of the day, where she'd hit me.
I said this isn't fair I wanted to do a police report, (but they'd believe she was a lovely old woman anyway probably)
DH said 'revenge is a dish best served cold'.
As in he doesn't need to give her any consquences for doing that 'yet'.
I know he said that to avoid doing anything about it.
And it's a few months later now, and ';we're all friends' apparently. I sit in another room if she invites herself round. She's coming round here again, doesn't even knock. Calls all morning day and night.
DH says 'she'll be dead soon anyway' because she's old.
I think she'll certainly live for a good 20 years more, she's really healthy.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 29/05/2011 12:26

FFS your dh needs to man up big time.

I am appalled at this.

How can you sleep with a man that allows this?