MIL calling the house at 11pm for bloody nothing, after being told multiple times

[yukoncher]

I am fuming.
MIL once again calling at 11pm, at her leisure, I ignore it as I don't want to snap at her, she just came round to the house banging on the window, wants to know if I found a key I'd lost earlier. I can't actually believe it.
I just acted offish and she's gone home to get her spare key to our house to help us lock up. We live on a bloody farm, noone comes by here anyway.

She's rang after 12 midnight before aswell, then from 7am onwards!
I'm a light sleeper.
DH coyly asks her not to call so late or early, she ignores it. Then he goes 'oh it didn't work' and doesn't bother telling her again.
Arg
I'm so annoyed.

[duckdodgers]

"DH says 'she'll be dead soon anyway'". Something has obviously gone seriously wrong in their relationship if this is his attitude to his own Mother. I would hate to think of any of my children saying that about me when Im old.

[CatPower]

If your husband won't stand up to her (for the sake of the kids if nothing else), I think you might have to.

If she insists on ignoring you and continues to phone at all hours, report her for harassing phonecalls and ask for a new phone number. I know it's a hassle but she might get the hint when she realises. Get a cheap PAYG phone and give her the number for it - say she can call you on that number only, then switch it off once it gets too late in the evening. If she insists on coming round and banging on your windows, phone the police (non-emergency line). Maybe a stern word from them might make her realise that her behaviour is at best childish and at worst malicious.

[skybluepearl]

dont answer the door or phone - say between 9pm and 9am? tell her this is what you are doing

[skybluepearl]

gosh just read more of you posts. can you sell and move away? what a nightmare she is. agree you should have gone to the police to report her hitting you.

[MonstaMunch]

Gaed, i think you could all do with a little bit of growing up tbh

[DoubleNegativePanda]

My feelings were initially hurt, but now I am glad my MIL decided she didn't like me anymore last year, AND that she moved away to New Mexico! I never see her and she never calls!

My mother does occasionally call late at night because she's forgotten the time difference, but she's always very apologetic

[TooJung]

You have loads of options which are legal and do not involve violence. Just get determined about keeping trouble at arm's length. My mil is next door too, but I have to say she has never hit me so I'm a lot luckier.

She may want to be boss, but her territory needn't extend to your house, body, children and your night times! You get to be the boss of your patch :) Good luck.

[supercal]

It's your DH you should be furious with. You are trying to enforce boundaries with your MIL and he's just pissing all over them.

[supercal]

I've had my own problems with my MIL. Various issues but the final straw was when she called me then DH when drunk and ranted about me. He told her in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS not to do that again and that he, me or our kids would not be seeing her again until she apologised. She eventually did (in a card, not face to face, but it was a step forward), and we have an OK relationship now.

What was most important for me is that I didn't have to tell DH to lay down the law to his mother, he did it off his own accord as it was the right thing to do.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

You live on a farm, she lives next door. Are you farmers and therefore cannot move from this house? Did she and her husband previously run the farm? Does she think she's still running things?

As to the slapping incident - you need to sit your husband down for a bigtime talk. His lack of balls has allowed it to be glossed over. 'Served cold' my arse, 'swept under the carpet' more like. It still needs to be addressed. Were photos taken of your arm at the time?

[ledkr]

Id secretly like mil to hit me so i can give her the bloody slap she deserves for being a nasty piece of work Some blokes are so weird when it comes to their Mums,it such a common problem,made worse by the fact they arent the ones on the recieving end of their nastiness.My dh caught mil in the act so couldnt fail to believe what id told him for yrs. She was so gutted.

[2rebecca]

I would never live next door or within a 10 minute walk of any relative. If you do and don't want them hassling you you have to be firm at the outset, agree they phone before coming round and agree appropriate times to phone.
It sounds as though you tell her too much of the minutiae of your life if she's getting in a tizz about a key you can't find.
Tell her less and make it clear you want more privacy.

[hairfullofsnakes]

Sorry but the word that springs to mind is PATHETIC - how Pathetic that you and your dh (especially your dh and i fully agree with the poster who asks how can you sleep with him when he let's his bitch of a mother act like this) let her get away with this

Why does this type of scenario crop up time and time again and why do you people not realise you facilitate this behaviour by doing nothing about it?! Why do you allow this? Why do you allow your lives to be so miserable?! It is soooooooo frustrating to read!

[PenguinArmy]

Fucking hell

Why is she even allowed in your house anymore?

[hairfullofsnakes]

exactly penguin, they are at fault as they allow this stupid bullying to happen! aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!