this is an open forum, that means *anything* is up for discussion, and that anyone who doesn't like that doesn't have to read it.

[wannaBe]

sort of sparked by another thread but in truth I've seen so many times how it's "insensitive to post about this here because of people who are going through y."

I once posted a thread about my dh being lovely and was told it was insensitive because of people whose dh's were shits.

I've seen posts about people who have had affairs be told it's insensitive because there are people whose dh's have had affairs...

There's another thread in ibu today where the op has been told she's insensitive for posting because of others who are on the other side of the discussion..

Ultimately, this is an open forum. Some people choose to put their deepest most inner thoughts on here and open up their hearts and talk about the inner most happenings in their lives. Sometimes those people go through a hard time, and other times those people have come out the other side.

Sometimes people have been the cause of upset in someone else's life and that is equally relevant and they should be equally allowed to talk about it.

The internet is not a one-sided place where we reserve our empathy only for those who are either the victims or prepared to become the victims in the name of their hard time, and refuse to discuss the other side.

Everything should be up for discussion, and if people don't like that, no-one is obligated to read it - there is a hide function after all.

I think it is akin to saying that people shouldn't post threads about "My mum is such a bitch - AIBU" incase it upsets people who have lost their mothers. Well obviously no one wants to upset a bereaved person, but should it inhibit threads elsewhere?

I agree about the double standards thing a little bit though.

Monsta -

try to suck up to your mates and back each other up

That is a very odd interpretation of what I said.

AgentZigZag - I made that comment on the thread, as sometimes MN does get people purposely trolling and/or trying to rile normal MN users on deliberately controversial issues.

It doesn't mean I hold less weight to other users but I would be more likely to question their true motives. I am not trying to be horrid or unfair to less familiar users, actually I am normally trying to adjust my answer to make it relevant to the real meaning of the OP. (I hope this makes sense to someone other than just me!) :)

Interesting point made by babyheave and Monsta. Think the abortion topic was stopped from being a decent discussion by the sock puppetry, imho. Particuarly as the OP made fantastic comments after her initial comment explaining herself better than anyone else did anyway.

Think if people just took each OP as valuable as the next, it wouldn' get so arsey. It would be a more even playing field. Or not. Feck I dunno.

x posts with monsta/hully et al.

Agreed as long as people are clear in their titles and use the fecking topics. I don't give a toss about bf/ff for example, but people seem incapable of posting in the right place which means active convos gets cluttered up with shite.

Monsta, my pov on this thread is that it is okay for people to disagree. So I am taking the opposite stance to the op. I am saying that if I were to post that thread title I would expect people to come storming on to the thread to say it was offensive and insensitive. I would not expect them just to hide it or report it because they were offended by it. I would expect a heated debate.

ReindeerBollocks, incidentally, about 18 months ago there was a "guest appearance" by someone in one of the Conception threads who said that the regular posters' ramblings made her feel sick and they were the worst sorts of people. Now fair enough there is some pretty black humour going on there and it may not have been to her taste, but again why should they shut up and not say what they feel in case they might offend someone they don't know?

I am agreeing with you by the way!

people who are going to be offended by certain posts won't or shouldn't read it. there are dozens of threads daily which could and do cause offence for various serious and and not so serious reasons. there just happens to be a fairly controversial one raging at the moment.

but you aren't the MN police. let them fight their own battles and argue till they're blue in the face.

what you say is true, but people also have the right to disagree!
what bibbity said

thinkt eh abortion thread was in its own way a fair point but BADLY WORDED

That thread title did look like a classic troll post, mind. Was surprised when I saw op (because, sorry if this offends anyone, hers is a name I recognise after spending far too many years on here and she has never struck me as a deliberately provocative poster). Sometimes you can't help "knowing" your fellow posters, iyswim.

Oh Ariesgirl, that was me, and I'm sorry, you misunderstood. My fault for not being clear.

I was complaining (obviously very opaquely) that you'd made a rather flawed sweeping generalisation, and on being given a real counterexample came out with the classic, "Oh I didn't mean you".

But... that's what always happens to flawed arguments and sweeping generalisations. You can either go away and rethink your argument/generalisation, or carry on blithely making it and telling yourself that each and every one of your increasing file of counterexamples is a highly unusual exception that needn't be taken account of.

Ironically, given today's hot threads, your argument was on the lines of "people shouldn't give birth if they can't afford water bills."

It was the SN threads that i was refering to when i said that people can be educated, i have seen it on the disability threads, also. There should not be a unallowed topic or even a place to confine them to, as those that 'do not believe' in certain SN's would never read or post in those categories. People post out of genuine naivety sometimes, but the threads turn out to be very informative.

But isn't disagreement and offence the basic premise of arguments?

*aren't

I disagree with tethers

and Bran

I've never been so offended in my life.

Disagree with bran indeed.

I'm sorry tethersend but you're wrong - a good argument is two (or more) people having a heated conversation but coming at it from different directions - it's not about who can be offended the most -

Primal:

No it's not

Hully:

I'm shocked and saddened.

Offence has got jog all to do with debating issues. Or it shouldn't have...

Do you want to take this outside tethers?

Fair point, Pinot. Was just trying to start an argument

An argument doesn't have to be offensive to be an argument, but nor does it cease to be an argument if it is offensive.

And I'll deck anyone who says otherwise.

S'true, tethers. Sorry I didn't get your intention.