to have had an abortion and feel ZERO shame or regret

[GetOrfMoiCase]

In AIBU because it is a popular topic. I know I am not being unreasonable.

Thread is in response to a report I heard on the news yesterday which was shamefully presented, regarding abortion access.

There is a thread on MN currently about it www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1222273-Chipping-away-at-abortion-rights-govt-appoints-Life-as-sexual-health-adviser

Apparently there is a twitter thingummy going around 'I had an abortion' for people to discuss guilt free abortions.

Just thought it would be appropriate to have a thread on here for people put a positive side of abortion.

My story: got pregnant 5 years ago. My dd was 10. I was in a relationship of 6 months duration and had recently started a new job. Condom failure. My partner and I agreed that we didn't want a baby, I booked an abortion and had it without a backward glance. No emotional fall out afterwards. No guilt.

"Is the other excuse one of the thousands methods of contraception failing?"

No, m'dear. All too often we hear of teenage pregnancies that probably wouldn't have occured if the people involved had had a better sex education or not been so naive to believe that you can't get pregnant when you have sex stood up/on period/on third wednesday in July. People like me who don't realise they're allergic to the MAP until they're violently puking up an hour after taking it. People who have got pregnant then found out they've got breast cancer (like my friend) and will have to go through very aggressive radiotherapy... I could go on.

And perhaps if people listened to the catholic church instead of getting on their high horses and taught teenagers about self respect, not sleeping around and how to keep themselves safe we'd have less teenage pregnancy or pregnancies due to drunken one-night stands.

As a society we've only ourselves to blame. We practically encourage promiscuity (sp) without telling them of the dangers that entails, like pregnancy, cervical cancer, STDs etc. Does the sex education DVDs cover these topics? Nope. Should they? Well the catholic church think so but let's not listen to them because they're a bunch of morons.

Abortion rates are sky high not because of a lack of contraception but because of alcohol.

Abortion should not be applauded because for most women who choose, it's a necessary evil. They'd rather not be going through the process I'm sure, who would? It's a last resort (hopefully) and certainly nothing to celebrate. Rather it should be met with sighs of relief that women no longer have to go to back street clinics.

"And perhaps if people listened to the catholic church instead of getting on their high horses and taught teenagers about self respect, not sleeping around and how to keep themselves safe we'd have less teenage pregnancy or pregnancies due to drunken one-night stands."

Ooh. Is this the same Catholic church that tells people in Africa that condoms make AIDS worse? The same catholic church that covers up for clergymen accused of child abuse?

I'd rather take lessons on morality from Peter Sutcliffe. Cheers.

I don't want to listen to the Catholic Church, thank you very much. I was Christened Catholic and have exercised my right not to live my life according to the narrow-minded and outdated values espoused by the leaders of Catholicism.

Or possibly what Bupcakes said.....

I actually totally agree with those who say that my OP was flippant

I wrote it in ire after reading the linked thread and thinking about this all night and having discussions about it. I am very worried as a mother of a teenager that there seems to be a creep of opinion in government which is distinctly anti-abortion.

However the sentiment behind the OP remains the same. No having an abortion is a serious decision, and not one to be done without thinking about it for a long time and really thrashing the decision out. No it is not the same as having a mole removed, it is removing the potential for life. However, I stand my the comment that I have not had any emotional afll out, and there is no need to feel guilty about it. If you do feel bad about an abortion, that is awful and an equally valid viewpoint

What is said again and again is that posting this in AIBU is out of order - I still do not understand that viewpoint tbh. Where else should it have gone?

FWIW I will not ask for the OP thread title or post to be removed or changed, I don';t think that is necessary.

Yes, you lost me at the Catholci bit too. Ridiculous.

Swallowedafly - I am now resisting the urge to stand next to my agenda post, smugly pointing out that I said it first!

Agree with Buppy. How the argument can be that the Catholic Church will save us if we just listen to the tenants of the faith is actually mind boggling.

Oh, and I was baptised and raised as a RC, by an Italian parent and I still will not be taking advice from the Catholic church.

sorry Swallowed
[repeats 'AND deeply mysogynistic' ten times to ensure she gets it right next time]

I was a non-practicing Catholic child in a convent school.
That was super-duper-fun!

I have two words to say about the Catholic Church:

Magdalen Sisters.

That's where young girls who - oh yes, how strange - became pregnant, through whatever combination of ignorance, abuse or simple lack of access to contraception - went to give birth. And stayed. And suffered.

I'd opt for access to early, safe abortion any day.

I think the thread is going off on a tangent here, perhaps the debate of the Catholic Church is for another thread.

Yes the catholic have got it wrong on many many occasions. However they also get some things right. If you want to put your fingers in your eyes and sing "la la la" that's up to you, but on this occasion, which is rare granted, they have a point.

Ordinary sex education (I've seen the DVDs) teach from primary school about masturbation, about having sex, it includes the word "wanking" (primary school) but only casually mentions once that you need to be 16. It doesn't tell you how to keep yourself safe from abuse, it doesn't teach about self-respect and none of the kids who are currently getting cervical cancer vaccinations even know how cervical cancer is spread.

So yes, the catholic church has been vile and you are right to condemn them, but you have to accede them a point when they say something right.

Or perhaps we should just let them all get pissed on cheap cider, shag around and then applaud the fact that they can just toddle off and get an abortion without having to suffer any guilt whatsoever. Does that sound better?

Indeed, DrGruntFotter

Oh and thanks to the person who doubted my condom failure reason, and said 'was it a failure to use a condom in the first place'

As tempted as I am to tell you to go fuck yourself, the reason was the damn thing fell off inside, and I cannot take the morning after pill because it is not recommended if you have had thrombosis.

So chewed my fingers down to the bone for a couple of weeks praying to a god I don't believe in that I wasn't pregnant.

sorry- can't read the thread (though by the length of it can guess the content) and have to post and run...

also am v obviously me on here, so won't talk of my experience, but will tell you about my friend

she got pregnant-accidentally, obv- on holiday about 15 years ago. An abortion was the only solution because of her circumstances at the time. Luckily, she had a fabulous non judgemental friend at the time who told her about her (guilt free) abortion. This sort of enabled my friend to have the same herself.

A few years later, in a pretty established relationship, my friend got pregnant accidentally again, and faced the same choice. This time, although very, very apprehensive, she decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. Although the relationship failed subsequently, she had a lovely, adorable, handsome, funny and clever ds, who is occasionally very irritating and complains about x box access/homework/being forced to go to Woodcraft Folk.

My friend has no regrets about either of her unplanned pregnancies and the way they turned out. Both outcomes were based entirely on her circumstances at the time. She was, as I say, very much helped by her friend's attitude to abortion. At the time, any opinion she had heard from women who had had abortions (in the media, that is) was that it was a regrettable and awful procedure, of necessity leading to guilt and shame forever after.

It's not. I don't think it would be stretching a point to say that the primary emotion after a termination is often (not always, or usually, but often) one of sheer relief.

...that's what my friend said, anyway