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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anybody actually know anyone who had an ELCS just because they thought they were "too posh to push"?

698 replies

InAStateOfReflux · 24/05/2011 10:22

Just watching the Wright stuff. One of the hot topics is that apparently ELCS rates being performed by the NHS are rising because people are deciding they are "too posh to push" and it's costing the NHS lots of money. Hmm

They are suggesting that these women should be offered psychiatric counselling to bring them round to the idea of having a vaginal birth.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I was given an ELCS because my dd was breech and was in fact strongly advised to (not given much choice in fact) and anyone else I know who's had one has been offered it because of significant trauma or complications in a previous birth.

I have never however met a woman who insisted on one on the NHS just cause she didn't fancy pushing it out of her fanny, and I doubt the NHS would go with this anyway tbh...

And if they're talking about women who have real fears and emotional distress regarding child-birth, then yes of course lets force the hysterical wench to push it out, does she not know how much money she's costing the NHS? Hmm

Oh how I love the way the media portray these issues...[sigh] Yes perhaps ELCS rates are rising and perhaps this should be addressed in some way, but to suggest it is for such fickle reasons is so juvenile. Angry Perhaps it is the HCPs fault and not the whole female population who are apparently too cowardly to push their babies out?

OP posts:
JoniRules · 28/05/2011 20:43

How awful that people are judging others beacuse they had a CS. And what's with the one-up-manship? Why make people feel they have failed because they didn't have vaginal birth...yuk so judgemental and superior.

I had 2 CS, one EMCS and one Elective. Basically I don't go into labour for some mysterious reason so babies had to come out.

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:43

i dont think so but ok :)

lockets · 28/05/2011 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sungirltan · 28/05/2011 20:45

xstitch - so sorry for your expereinces - sounds terribly familar though. my mum had an emcs with me (heartrate dropping baby distressed), my horrible abusive father told her afterwards it was her fault for 'not pushing properly' and told everyone including me that she didnt want to see me when i was born - she was unconcious for 12 hours post op and v sleepy for longer. your xh sounds like a massive twat.

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:45

I was slagging anyone of for having one after all thats what they are for i just said women should not get preggers and think they have a right not to go through birth if its needed then thank god science can help but otherwise its all up to the mummy :)

thisisourtime · 28/05/2011 20:45

My first baby was 9 pounds 11 ounces.

That was not a medical indicator for an ELCS second time round.

Neither were the forceps delivery, infected episiotomy, erbs palsy to my baby considered medical reasons for an ELCS second time round.

Birth trauma was.

JoniRules · 28/05/2011 20:45

teaforone

If you really dont want to go through labour then quite clearly you really dont want a baby ..

what an utterly stupid thing to state. It is your subjective view not an objective reality. You are full of BS

xstitch · 28/05/2011 20:46

He loves to make my life difficult as he is a control freak. In court the order (although not removing custody from me) stated that I should 'change my ways and attempt to comply with the wishes of the 's family so that the relationship can be amicable as it was in the past. It only appeared outwardly amicable in the past as did everything they demanded no matter how ridiculous IYSWIM. This included ducking if I missed a teaspoon during the washing up, grovelling if I missed a scuff mark on the skirting boards justifying when and how long then ironing board ws up when lights went on and off.

The order also requires me to get his specific permission if I am to cross the county border with dd. The also said 'there has been some critisims of Miss stitch's parenting ability but I am sure she is not that bad' XMIL works with SS so I have to walk a very shaky tightrope to avoid trouble with them.

sungirltan · 28/05/2011 20:47

jonirules - precisely! there are many things to judge other parents on - imo brith methods arn't on the list. i had a emcs, a lovely friend had a water birth at home - does that make her a superior parent to me? does it bullshit, it just makes her lucky.

lockets · 28/05/2011 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:48

Its true though
To have a baby you have to make baby give birth to a baby
Or am i missing somthing!

sungirltan · 28/05/2011 20:48

and this argument about costing the nhs doesnt hold any water either. if you are so high and mighty about saving their pennies dont have a baby at all.

xstitch · 28/05/2011 20:48

teaforone are you my XH's lawyer?

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:50

You really do add things to peoples words
NOT once did i state your a worse mummy because you didnt give birth natually!!
I gave my thoughts on the post which was about women having c sections
If they are not needed why should they have them???
I never said anything about them being a bad mother though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:51

and locket i didnt say i know better either
I was giving my thoughts

JoniRules · 28/05/2011 20:51

sungirltan - it is true there are so many things that are out of our hands when it comes to birthing and all the birth plans, listening to hypnobirthing CDs etc can change that. I wouldv'e loved a vaginal water birth. Just wasn't to be, labour never started and 10lb 2oz baby, 2nd time round Elective suggested to prevent rupture of the scar. Ditto no inductions were allowed.

I waited for a week or so to see if baby wanted to come, but no. Another biggun' at 9lb 13oz. Elective was a very jolly affair and very relaxed, nice atmosphere. I'm glad I made a wise choice.

K999 · 28/05/2011 20:52

Xstich. He sounds like a right knob. Hope you and your DD are ok. Smile

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:53

xstich ---- really i dont know what your going on about but why would a be a lawyer?? You clearly state your having problems might i adviced you seek help!! this was a thread about thoughts on c sections its not my fault you decided to go on about courts and what nots

HavePatience · 28/05/2011 20:55

This thread has made me really Angry with my local hospital. I was referred to a consultant and had a letter both from my GP and from a counsellor, giving their opinion that I should be permitted an ELCS should I request it and the counsellor's letter also actually stated that this may be better for me overall as a result of sexual abuse... and that if I did choose to give birth vaginally that the midwives needed to be very aware of the effect that internal exams would have on me, so to make sure that the procedure was explained clearly and that I felt in control.

Well - I got to the consultant, who had the letters as they were mailed to the hospital as well as to me. I was shrugged off and told that I would not be getting an ELCS. I asked my MW at every appointment. I asked when I went into labour. The answer was always "no". They said I could go private for it, but I could not afford the ££££.

Then. When I went into labour - although the letters were attached to my notes and I brought them to the attention of the MW's who were treating me, I still had a MW ask another to hold my arms down and one who demanded that my DH help Angry while she did an internal exam completely against my will whilst I screamed and pleaded with her to stop Angry.

And no, I'm not happy that I went through it vaginally. I'm over the moon with my DS and was elated to meet him when he was born (that moment was complete euphoria!) but if I could do it over again, I would have an ELCS. I know some people on here will think that this makes me a monster mother. I don't really care. I love my DS more than I could ever explain.

If someone has indeed gotten an ELCS because they felt "too posh to push" then that really surprises me.

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:55

And anyway by the looks of it no one on here has a c section without it being serious case so ......... the op cannot get her answer from there side :)

NellieForbush · 28/05/2011 20:55

teaforone why shouldn't someone have a cs if they want one?

What is your issue? Money? Or something else?

Baby2b · 28/05/2011 20:56

Not read all the posts, but one of my closest friends had a cs with her first child as she did not want to 'face' child birth. She said she was too squeamish to her doctor? And cried until she was given a promise that she would receive a cs. She also demanded a medical note in case she went into labour early and it stated that she was to be given a cs. I think it is her choice, but she didn't have any medical reason for not wanting a vb. Maybe some counselling would have helped? Anyway, unfortunately I think this is more common than we would think.

Programmes like portland babies also show people booking cs as they don't want to worry about work or childcare if the child comes unannounced.

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:56

why do you think it makes you a monster mum??

teaforone · 28/05/2011 20:57

because they shouldnt why should they??

xstitch · 28/05/2011 20:57

I am not putting any words in your mouth it was the incredibly rude and patronising :

'If you really dont want to go through labour then quite clearly you really dont want a baby .. '

that got me thinking

along with
'its tramic for everyone its life' Yes that is patronising.

This wasn't to me but is very rude and patronising:

'haha yes my was very tramatic to i think everyones ones love.
The different comes when they think baby is too big and belive you answered your own question on that one but congrats anyway'