How on earth do I stop mil ringing at this time of the morning?

[janejon]

My mil keeps rings us at 6 am whenever she wants to talk to my dh (sometimes earlier!). She does this because she thinks my husband gets up early- he used to, but does not have to get up this early anymore (fortunately). I mean bs to my still being asleep and everything but that's another story...

Anyway, I'm absolutely sick of this- dh won't confront her (again another story, she won't 'remember' apparently ) but I have really, really got to stop this cap. I mean who in their right mind rings at this time anyway? (unless really, really important and not just for a 'chat'?) Please, folks, how can I stop this. Sneaky tricks accepted as long as not illegal!!

People are either running around like anything getting ready for work or, if not, asleep. So why do this anyway?! At end of tether regarding this particular issue. Help.

[Gandalfthedyed]

Janejon.

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

Quite a good rule for life , I find.

[Gandalfthedyed]

May I ask again, do you actually engage in conversation with her at that hour?

[Pictish]

Ok...so go ahead and keep answering the calls, and don't tell her to ring later.
Fine.

What a pointless thread.

[sleepingsowell]

yes, how odd. It's so easily dealt with - even if speaking to her doesn't work, you just unplug the phone and leave mobile for emergency use.

Tis not rocket science....OP does seem to be very obtuse re actually doing anything at all to change the situation

[Cezzy]

Change your number and don't tell her! or just turn vol right down and let it ring. We use an ansaphone and we can divert call to go straight to it then can choose whether or not to intercept the call, in this case, don't. May be worth getting one?

[chestnutmare]

I agree with what seems to be the most common answer so far, either tell her to not call you at such a stupid time or don't answer at all. If you don't want to do either, then you're going to have to put up with it. Tell your DH to grow a pair.

[GnomeDePlume]

Janejon it takes roughly 3 weeks to make or break a habit so whatever you do to change your MiL's habit then be prepared to press on for at least 3 weeks.

My suggestion is pretty similar to others.

1. DH must tell his DM that she is not to phone before whatever is considered a reasonable time to your household. It doesnt matter if she ignores this, she has been told.
   
2. When she next phones at stupid o'clock (before the time stated above even if only 5 minutes before) you answer and say 'it is too early, DH will phone back after Xam'. Dont engage, dont listen for her answer, just put the phone down.
   
3. Each and every time she does this keep repeating the above. Dont get angry, dont engage just repeat.
   
4. At the appropriate time your DH must phone her back.
   

Repeat the above as required but dont be surprised if it takes a few weeks. She has got into a bad habit (think of it like nail biting!) she needs to be helped to break the habit.

[porpoisefull]

What a bizarre thread. "I don't want my MIL to call us at 6 in the morning. I am not prepared to ask her not to call at that time. What should I do?"

[suburbophobe]

Why answer the phone at 6 am if you know it is her? Just ignore, I don't see the point in picking it up and telling her it is too early when she obviously doesn't care....

Is she a control freak? Don't feed the addiction!

[iscream]

If you come back, I think Jaspants has the solution. Easy and immediate. Just switch your phone off until you are up.

Jaspants Mon 23-May-11 12:42:02

Tell your parents / close friends that someone is ringing you unacceptably early and so you are switching your phone off but if there is an emergency then to ring your mobile?

[clam]

I'm frankly amazed that you have let it get this far. No-one would phone my number at 6 in the morning more than once.
If you won't take any of the advice on here, then pick up next time and say, "sorry, DH is asleep. I'll get him to call you."
Repeat each morning until she gets the hint.

[valiumredhead]

what Pictish said - YOU are allowing this to happen OP!

[Jaspants]

Can you tell I've got an awkward old bag of a MIL

[kingprawntikka]

OP- Is it you that gets up to answer the phone... because if it is I would just push your husband out of bed to answer it everytime ,and leave him to deal with the woken up children until the real getting up time.

[Gandalfthedyed]

Or answer, lie phone near you and make loud shagging noises and lots of, "" Oooh, harder baby, HARDER, you're such a big boy ".


Repeat as necessary until she stops phoning.

[thinNigella]

Pretend your H is trying to have sex with you at the same time.

'Mmmm, ...get off, I'm on the phone...giggle... sorry mil what was that, no he's, errr otherwise engaged at the moment I'll get him to call you later...'

Then hang up, she'll never do it again

[thinNigella]

gandal, great minds think alike

[Gandalfthedyed]

My auld cow darling mummy in law once told me there was nothing I could do for her son that she couldn't.

I looked her in the eye, raised one eyebrow and said, " Blow job?"

We haven't spoken in years!

[JamieAgain]

How old is he?

Do you think it's possible that she's suffering from memory problems? If she's got dementia she may not remember what you have asked her to do before, she may not be aware what time it is, she may know, but not be able to stop herself, or she may be very anxious in the mornings.

[JamieAgain]

I ask this, because you mentioned in your OP "she won't remember, apparently " Maybe she really can't remember

[StayingDavidTennantsGirl]

Gandalf - I bet you wish you'd had a camera with you - her expression must have been priceless!!

[SkyNewsAddict]

I was constantly getting calls at stupid o'clock at night from someone who wouldn't be told otherwise so I got caller ID. If it is the guilty number and its late I ignore, if its another number I answer in case its a real emergency and I need to answer. Its worked, I had to ignore it a fair few times and when questioned I just said 'oh, did you call? what time was it? oh, thats quite late I was probably asleep' and left it at that.

[JamieAgain]

Also, senility isn't a term that's used any more to describe a medical condition

[aStarInStrangeways]

Haven't read whole thread so apologies if this has been suggested already, but pick it up every time and bellow "FUCK OFF YOU RABID OLD BITCH!" before slamming it down. Every time. When you speak to her at any other time, if she brings it up, just give a tinkly laugh and say 'oh yes, I'm not really a morning person'.

The abuse can be varied to suit, obviously.