Abusive primary school teacher.

[Dozzaflower]

My 8 year old son came home from school after having a fight, he wasnt the person who started yet fought back, i confronted his teacher who said she would resolve the matter. End of the school day the teacher comes across and says my son didnt tell her everything and should of told a teacher, all this in front of the other childs mother!!! Within 2minutes the teacher starts shouting in my sons face and pointing at him to which my husband then says "who the hell do you think your talking to" its carries on until his teacher says shall we go to the headmaster, we reply yes, yet we never make it that far as the teacher stops and starts sweat talking my son!! So we leave, ring the headmaster, were told hes unavailable as is the deputy head, (convienant) told we will be rang first thing, my son then tells me that the same teacher shouted at him in front of his class & when he didnt reply the teacher thumped the desk,,,,,, other parents have confirmed this via their children in the class, so no phone call, go to reception & were told the headmaster is in a "meeting" and will ring us at lunchtime.... ive had enough, do you think im right to make a formal complaint?????

Yes you are right.

Thankyou.x

Yes you are right. You need to get to the bottom of all this and find out what's been going on.

If you he hasn't rang you by lunchtime I would go there in person and insist on speaking to him face to face today.

Are you sure your child isnt behaving badly in class?

You need to talk to the head as a matter of urgency. Don't presume it's your childs fault.

I would leave a message saying you want a call within the next half hour or you are taking this to Ofsted. Be prepared to accept it if your child is behaving badly, but I don't think the teacher is behaving appropriately either and she's the adult.

I would advise you to go in calmly, and not accusingly. You don't know what has happened in the class, and need to listen to the teacher's side of things too. If you go in all guns blazing, you will antagonise the head teacher and your ds's teacher, and that won't help. Show them that you are prepared to listen to both sides and then to work with them to find a solution you are all happy with, and you are far more likely to get a good outcome.

squeakytoy, my son is a typical child hes no angel, yet i know he had done nothing wrong, the teacher behaved serously out of order not for the first time, a few weeks back my son couldnt attend his school play due to a football exam, his teacher said "what do you expect me to say, well done" !!!

his teacher was telling me on friday that my son has been the class role model behaving wonderfully, i do know that she is friends with the other childs mum,

You are right, no one should talk to your child like that, nor use intimidation tactics.

My brother and his friend were subjected to an abusive supply teacher about 16 years ago. My mother initially got told the headmaster couldn't see her. My mum's arguement originally was something along the lines of "if you had a problem with one of my children, you'd expect to speak to me, not my sister who sometimes has responsibility". That didn't work on that occassion,but when Mum offered to withdraw me and my brother from the school AND go to the local paper, she soon got an appointment.

I'm not sayiing use my mum's latter tactics, but definitely stand your ground. Your son does not deserve to be intimidated by someone who sounds like little more than a bully.

You do need to go in and speak to head but try and keep calm until you've got to the bottom of it. If head hasn't called by lunchtime I would ring up and ask to speak to him every 1/2 hour until you get hold of him.

Not sure about the he says/she says part of the childrens fight,but I am sure about the teacher shouting and pointing in his face
My complaint would have been in already!

I know i dont know what happens in class yet she was screaming & pointing at my son in full view of me, so in my eyes if she behaves like that infront of me how does she behave in class, she was so mad because my son didnt tell her everything that happened, my son said she wouldnt listen and when she was shouting & thumped the table he was scared.Ive spoken to a police friend of mine who says i should make a formal complaint as its fear of immediate violence.

thankyou everybody :) I am hoping to get a phonecall at lunchtime, cant see it happening, like you say if my son had been in trouble theyd expect me to drop everything and go in.I wouldnt mind but its an absolutly brilliant school, shame he has a horrible teacher, roll on summer :)

If you put a complaint in writing it has to be dealt with. Also the next step after the head is writing to the governors, then the LEA.

It's not an acceptable way for a teacher to behave but make sure you have all the facts before you go in 'all guns blazing' as I assume your son has another half term with this teacher.

You do right OP

sorry you're going through this.

Yes he has manicbmc, the situation with the other child in my eyes in now resolved, our problem is 1 the teacher immtimadating my son, 2, thumping a desk, why would you do that? And 3 the way she behaved in front of us, my son has gone school today, yet im feeling guilty & worried about him being there.

YANBU - that teachers behavior is totally unacceptable and very unprofessional!!

Def a formal complaint and a meeting with the head! But yes, agree, get all the facts first.

Thanks Haughtychuckle, i am really hoping my younger son doesnt end up with the same teacher in september :/

Agree with those who say make sure you have all the facts. I personally would e-mail my version of events to the head before lunch - making it clear that this was what I saw and whilst I understood I may not have all of the facts, the behaviour I witnessed was unacceptable.

This does need to be sorted, but be calm and rational. Your op stated that your son had been involved in a fight yet you 'confronted' the teacher. It's quite strong language when at that point you weren't aware that the teacher had done anything wrong.

It is not acceptable for them to avoid talking to you about this though, very cowardly in my opinion.

There are no different facts as such, his teacher just flipped in front of me, i agree what you all mean as his teacher can easily deny thumping the desk, but what i saw her do was bad enough. The receptionist said the head knows whats gone on & will ring us at lunchtime, now either the teacher has told him what she did or he thinks its just about the boys fighting?????

Sorry i was a special constable for two years so sometimes i write stronger than i mean lol :) I approache dhis teacher & expolained their had been an incident in school & she said ok ill sort it out.

I am not sure why thumping the desk to get someones attention would be classed as abuse.

Squeaky, she was talking to my son , he didnt reply , so she thumped the table & then went & got the other child, why should she thump anything> She should be controlled . She was clearly very mad when she had no reason to be.