Abusive primary school teacher.

[Dozzaflower]

My 8 year old son came home from school after having a fight, he wasnt the person who started yet fought back, i confronted his teacher who said she would resolve the matter. End of the school day the teacher comes across and says my son didnt tell her everything and should of told a teacher, all this in front of the other childs mother!!! Within 2minutes the teacher starts shouting in my sons face and pointing at him to which my husband then says "who the hell do you think your talking to" its carries on until his teacher says shall we go to the headmaster, we reply yes, yet we never make it that far as the teacher stops and starts sweat talking my son!! So we leave, ring the headmaster, were told hes unavailable as is the deputy head, (convienant) told we will be rang first thing, my son then tells me that the same teacher shouted at him in front of his class & when he didnt reply the teacher thumped the desk,,,,,, other parents have confirmed this via their children in the class, so no phone call, go to reception & were told the headmaster is in a "meeting" and will ring us at lunchtime.... ive had enough, do you think im right to make a formal complaint?????

"I am not sure why thumping the desk to get someones attention would be classed as abuse."

Me neither

Download the school's behaviour policy - which will set out how bad behaviour should be dealt with (ie not with finger-pointing and shouting). Write a calm letter to the teacher and head saying what you witnessed and how it made you feel. Ask for a face-to-face meeting to discuss the matter. Go in with the behaviour policy. Stick to your guns but be very calm, very clear and very non-accusing. Remember that the second you say anything inflammatory or exaggerated you will lose control of the meeting - because the head and teacher will naturally focus on that.

Be sure to agree with all comments about the school insisting on good behaviour etc. Basically you need to point out that the reaction was not proportionate to the offence, that it was damaging to your child's feelings about school, and that as far as you can tell it was not in line with the behaviour policy.

If a member of the public was to stand in the street & shout at your face and point in your face you are well within your rights to phone the police, her hitting the desk whilst shouting at my 8 YEAR OLD!! is intimidation. Imagine you were 8 it happened to you.

You may also have to agree that your husband's 'who the hell do you think you are talking to' was unreasonable - which it was.

And whilst I agree that the teacher behaved badly I don't think your ds did himself any favours. He shouldn't have got involved in a fight in the first place and when he was asked a question he should have answered, truthfully and fully.

Apart from shouting or making a loud noise (ie banging the desk) how else is she meant to get the attention of pupils who ignore her?

My son was thumped in the chest so he pushed the boy away, the other boy then started kicking & punching my son. My son was talking up until the teacher started shouting so thats why my son went quiet.

This ISNT a member of the public. This is your sons teacher who is there to teach and to control her pupils. I have no issue with teachers shouting at or telling off unruly pupils. It does children no harm at all to be slightly fearful of their teacher.

how was he ignoring her? He was scared!!! So if my son cannot get someone's attention he is meant to go around thumping things, get a grip!!

She is there to teach not bully.

You raise your voice to get attention - fine.

You shout in someone's face - not fine.

Tapping the desk with the flat of your fingers to bring a daydreaming pupil back to planet earth - fine

Thumping a clenched fist on the desk in front of a pupil - not fine

Thankyou Balloonslayer, you get my point. My son was stood right in front of her.

We used to get board rubbers thrown at us in class if we didnt pay attention.

My mother would have supported a teacher who told me off if I was misbehaving, not gone steaming in to see the head and complain.

We had one who would throw a compass like a dart.

If my son misbehaves then fine he needs telling off, but to what point, you clearly think she behaved ok?

Not at 8 yrs old. I always tell my kids to hit other kids back now after years of them being punched, kicked and coming home with various injuries. Ive been taken into the school and have told the teacher ive told them to hit back if someone hits them.

Your teacher shouldnt scream in your sons face and i would have acted the same as your husband. Stand outside the office if the headmaster is busy and tell them you will wait

Thanks fifi25 :)

DD had a rotten teacher last year who controlled the class with fear. She was falling behind in class, saying she didn't want to go to school, crying etc. I spoke to most of the other parents who had the same opinion of the teacher, she should not be teaching. Thankfully she retired last year and the new teacher has been like a breath of fresh air.

He uses rewards, certificates and praise to keep his class in control. If they behave and work well they get a reward. If they misbehave or don't make an effort they have a privilege removed. They are rarely without rewards at the end of the week.

There is no place in a classroom for intimidation and as a teacher is the primary caregiver in the absence (sp?) of parents it is their responsibility to afford the children in their care a safe, secure learning environment free from any kind of abuse be it verbal or otherwise. They are to teach life skills as well as academics and loosing the plot instead of calmly dealing with a situation is not a positive life skill.

I spoke to most of the other parents who had the same opinion of the teacher, she should not be teaching. Thankfully she retired last year

This woman probably taught very well for many many years, and like many older teachers was saddened by the lack of respect that such a high number of pupils have these days, mainly because they are not told off by their parents and think they are mini adults.

Thats very true cookierookie, im still waiting to be phoned, what an example to set the other children, lose your temper & thump table's.....

Most of the teachers at my primary school behaved like this. I wish parents had kicked up a fuss.

The few talented, caring, successful teachers didn't need to bully.

Sorry - i think you are overreacting. Your DS gets into a fight, and it's not his fault (so you say). He fights back/ defends himself - good for him. The matter seems to be resolved at this point, so why get involved if no further damage was done? And all of this has resulted in a bit of desk-thumping and finger-pointing, and you are calling this abuse!

I think you should have stood back, perhaps informed the school of the incident as it took place on the premises, and then just let things blow over. If there had been a repetition of the behaviour, then you have helped the school in drawing the teacher's attention to a potential problem. Instead, you have gone into the school, guns blazing, with your husband, who was frankly rude and disrespectful (in front of a pulpil) to a teacher trying to do a job, and you are wondering why the school is not co-operating with you?

Sorry if I've missed something, but it annoys me when parents think they have the right to march into schools as and when they like, and I feel you have acted inappropriately and set a bad example to your son.

What happened to in loco parentis??

My children have been brought up to respect others, pity my sons teacher hadnt been given the same lessons, she is a shame to the teaching proffesion,my youngest son's teacher is brilliant, and teaches properly, not acts like a thug.

No actually, she taught my dh too and he confirms she's always been a cunt!

Dozza, has your son had this teacher all year?