... to think that because I can't see a new IPOAT thread I should start one myself?

[PrincessFiorimonde]

Especially as I want to wish CheerfulYank a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY for today. Hope you are having a lovely day.

And here is the patron saint of IPOAT playing Happy Birthday To CY!

There is frightful groaning from within the barn. Is it satiety or suffering? So hard to tell.

Have we left Miss Honeydragon in there with the Cuntry Lady? Do you think they are getting on well?

Wasn't she last seen going to wash off her charcoal? I imagine she is tatting herself a new gown from the charred remnants of her old one. Such an inventive gel.

And what of Mistress Fiderer? She will never graduate if she does not attend her lessons.

They have no staying power the gels nowadays And we were going to do a lovely regimental tiffin, too.

Do you think Cuntry Lady would like instruction?

Do you like my newly tatted bloomers and corset? I had started on a suitably demure gown but then heard the good Rev committing Arse Flagellation? I thought that was Fridays?

Go steady Honey. We are now on Art of Enticement module 3. - Modest use of the Fan. Flutter, gaze coquetishly, bat lashes downwards and .. ..hold. We will soon be doing competences if we aren't careful. Today is tatting taffeta, Just because I like the sound of it. Poor Miss Riven, I feel I must withdraw to the cave and wail for a bit.

Hully, Pag, Umami, Cheerful, Ms Mary and all - you are all fantastic as ever.
Riven - how lovely to see you back here in these here parts.
Honeydragon - gosh, how well you have done in that there barn.
And Mini, I love your latest post.

I can't keep up , but love to all

Hellooooooooooooo
ellloooooo

                  lolololllllllloo

Madames, I have missed it on here, but in my time it is still Master Johnny's birthday! And we've done nothing to celebrat. What must he think of us? I am all astonishment that none of us have remembered ere now.

...and I cannot spell apparently. Ah well, tis not a womanly art like dancing or French verbs or china painting.

Ladies I fear that my participation in our current adventure has been lacking. In my defence I have been involved in many tedious things and am on a sharp learning curve. I have been taking advantage of some free business start up training which although unseemly and unladylike is sadly necessary as I am foolish with money at the best of times.

Nonetheless I have tatted to the best of my abilities and have spent considerable time in this barn.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I like to drink water cold, like it's just come out of a cold fridge. Most of the time I like it be warmer, but not room temperature.

Is it lavender water?

I'm a little worried about the Cuntry Lady, she is ever so quiet in yon barn.

Jins, ladies, when in extremis, must needs discover and master the bolder arts of man, and are to be congratulated thereon. Just don't forget to simper whilst accounting.

Water is best drunk plain and of no discernible temperature. I have it on good authority from Dr Dokterr.

Tush! Know you not that water may only be drunk when it is the same temperature as Baby Jesus' tears? Was no-one listening?

Oh well said, Umami. Quite right.

Did you catch the "day orphanages" thread? What lawks we had..

Yes, I suppose water either too warm or chilled might be too harsh on one's delicate female organs .

No, I missed day orphanages. I was out keeping the NHS on its feet whilst UmBoy was, presumably, in a day orphanage. I shall hunt it out forthwith!

You have to read the whole thing and then the follow up that rages now...

Curses, I have to go out.

Do I need to read 'male nursery workers' first?

no you can skip that

Few pages in. You have been thoroughly and repeatedly serious-sandwiched

"You saaaaahf londoners are soft. Us essexonians wear orange war paint, plastic toe nails and screech our warning 'baaaaaaaaaaabes! Awight?'. We live on the fucking estuary. We are your first line of defence against Europe. And do we get respect? Do we fuck. We get jokes about stilletoes and a ridiculous programme about muppets."