... to think that because I can't see a new IPOAT thread I should start one myself?

[PrincessFiorimonde]

Especially as I want to wish CheerfulYank a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY for today. Hope you are having a lovely day.

And here is the patron saint of IPOAT playing Happy Birthday To CY!

I am v funny, it's true. But what on earth was I talking about?

Good ol Pagboy.

Who knows.
It stands alone. Kill the children.

Well I stand by it. Killing is generally the answer. Not nearly enough of it.

Ok. It is in a section about coping when other children are mean to your dc.

I was about to ask for some help but I feel I know what Hully's solution will be now.

I have had to do it often. When a child threatens my dc's academic supremacy, I narrow my eyes and growl, "let's take em down" and make voodoo dolls.

Dear Aunty Hully,

DS can count to 29, but one of the other boys at nursery can count to 40, and makes DS look fick.

What should I do?

You know what you've got to do. Put your poncho on, chew a cheroot, mosey into town, and deal with it. Womano a womano.

What the fuck does ipoat stand for. It's getting on my tits.

There is no need for rudeness. We here are of a gentle persuasion and always happy to welcome the polite and questing.

However, as you have used bad language AND been quite rude, I'm afraid we shall have to lock you in the slightly burnt barn to pray with the Reverend.

Urgh not the Reverend.

Whores and bastards, Hully, whores and bastards.

Be quiet and pray you foulmouthed interloper. On your knees.

I'm so sorry, Madame Widow, whores and bastards you say?

Open fire.

The reverend will flagellate your asssssss....

Your children are lucky, MadamePaggy, tis an arse of virtue and distinction. Pert, yet all-enveloping. Stay away from the barn, by the way, there is a woman of the night locked in there.

Make mine a sasparilla.

Yes, whores' chairs. Quite right. I fear that evil interloping harpy has quite drained the dear Reverend, see how he stumbles and gibbers.

A restorative draught of marie rose sauce will see the Reverend right.