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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to think that because I can't see a new IPOAT thread I should start one myself?

1011 replies

PrincessFiorimonde · 17/05/2011 20:36

Especially as I want to wish CheerfulYank a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY for today. Hope you are having a lovely day.

And here is the patron saint of IPOAT playing Happy Birthday To CY!

OP posts:
Umami · 02/06/2011 19:44

Cook says she can do grilled kidneys and raw grass, and the water is the same temperature as John the Baptist's own; will that be acceptable?

fiderer · 02/06/2011 19:46

I cast up skirts
I flee
I cast prawns behind me
And think longingly of the militia in persuit

Am I to be shamed or pitied or encouraged?

CheerfulYank · 02/06/2011 19:46

I will pack my bags immediately, and hie to the monastery. Perhaps they will allow me to correspond with you all? I shall return a pure and chastened woman, suitable for marriage to a gentleman.

Hullygully · 02/06/2011 19:47

It must pass muster.

Are there no yaks to be had, Lady Riven? We are in sore need of yaks, tho indeed I fear a fork is not a suitable betrothal offering. Surely he is not Lord High Lieutenant Duskee Hugh? Famed for his camels and sibilant whisperings? I heard he was still in Alexandria.

Hullygully · 02/06/2011 19:48
Umami · 02/06/2011 19:49

'Neither cast ye your prawns before swains, lest they trample them under their feet, then turn again and bend you'.

Riveninside · 02/06/2011 19:53

He told me there was a yak shortage and all the ladies favoured a fine camel. I must say my mind was on his fine weapon and i did not think to question the appropriateness of a fork despite the surfeit of prawns.

Umami · 02/06/2011 19:55

The Sheikh always favoured a fine camel...

Riveninside · 02/06/2011 19:55

Wait Lady Yank, i shall join you in that distant monastery and reflect on my tatting. You pack the prawns and i will bri g the fork amd camels.

fiderer · 02/06/2011 19:55

All this swooning and yearning for yaks is most becoming.

Am I still destined to remain chaste for e're more? CheerfulYank and I bound forever in monasterial celibacy?

Hath ye no suitable manly Lords for us? Yaks ye can keep. I have a most yakable stable.

Riveninside · 02/06/2011 19:55

Ah sherbet. So hard to get your finger all the way to the bottom of the tube...

fiderer · 02/06/2011 20:05

Ah Riven, am sitting on sherbet and none shall ask why.
As for getting your finger to the bottom of the tube, why, I must away and ponder Hully's insistence that I remain chaste on this thread.

Honeydragon · 02/06/2011 21:06

Mistresses and Lady's! I have cast aside the pamphlets, for I have met the furrowed and hirstute Gifford Arden-Cassidy. He has beguiled me to eschew my prawns and instead become most illuminated to the charms and rewards of Scampi!

Lady Yank, I beseech thee, cat aside your prawn and clasp this mighty crevette of the hirsute Giffords.

Honeydragon · 02/06/2011 21:07

if you cannot find a feline you may cast aside your prawn instead!

minimammoth · 02/06/2011 23:03

I confess I am a bit befuddled by too many possets, dear ones. What is this talk of monastery. Surely our dear girls will be tarnished in such a place, who will protect their pearls. A nunnery may be more suitable, but if you are bent on the surgery then go forth.< dabs eyes with a passing yak> Yeild not the prawns under any circumstances, children, hold them dear.

Hullygully · 02/06/2011 23:06

I have engaged the services ofthe Right Reverend Reginald Rimmer. He arrives first thing on the morrow to steer the maidens on the path of righteousness and keep their minds on higher things and their bodies tightly and thoroughly clad. Not a moment too soon.

Honeydragon · 02/06/2011 23:34

A Reverend?

But, but Gifford....

fiderer · 03/06/2011 05:58

This maiden says "Pah!" to the RRRRimmer. I seek not the path of righteousness. I wish my mind to find such levels of depravity that would cause these pamphlets I've been dozing over reading to combust.
As for my body being tightly and thoroughly clad, this maiden shall now.....
... undo
...a Button!

Hullygully · 03/06/2011 08:17

Fie fie fie

There is no option but to hasten young headstrong Fiderer to the cellar until she learns to submit to the maidenly and modesty required of her sex.

Perkins!

Gifford, dear Mistress Honey, has a strange peculiarity unfit for your young and tender ears. Let us say only that he would be unable to fulfil those duties required ina husband. Go and read your missal quietly and await the Right Reverend. I must tuck up Mr Rochester who is quite flagging and undone.

fiderer · 03/06/2011 08:32

Dear Mistress Hully,
You seem wearied by your selfless toils. Shall I not see to the flagging and undone Mr Rochester while you repose and sip posset?
Yours maidenly,
Innocent Fiderer

Hullygully · 03/06/2011 08:58
minimammoth · 03/06/2011 09:03

Well I am away to collect wild flowers and wonder if I might borrow Mr. Rochester, to help with the pressing there of.< tugs Rochester away from fiderer>. He has the perfect buttocks for a flower press.

minimammoth · 03/06/2011 09:04
fiderer · 03/06/2011 12:13
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