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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't want 3 yr old DS to go on a day trip to the zoo with school. AIBU, DH says yes.

136 replies

pombal · 17/05/2011 19:28

DS1 3.5 yrs has the opportunity to go on a day trip to the zoo with school.
It will be his class (nursery) and the class above (reception), so about 22 children aged 3 - 5 years.
There will be 2 teachers and 2 assisstants going with them. The Zoo is an hours drive from school and they will leave at 9am and be back by 4pm.
We live abroad and it'll be hot.

I think he's just a bit too young for an all day outing in a big group like this, and we can take him to the Zoo another time.

DH is literally sulking that I won't let him go and has asked me to put it to the mumsnet jury.

AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
CoffeeDodger · 17/05/2011 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 17/05/2011 19:46

Sounds a long day for that age though, and no where near enough staff.

I´d also we concerned about drinking enough, enough trips to the toilet & how far they might be walking in the heat.

mrsravelstein · 17/05/2011 19:48

nope, i didn't let ds1 go on nursery trips, just thought he was too young for it, if he'd wandered off by accident and got lost he'd have been very frightened and not known what to do. he went on 1st school trip in reception year and that was fine, they grow up a lot between 3 and 5.

Original poster
pombal · 17/05/2011 19:49

diddl, TIY - have been so busy worrying about suncream and the fact I live in the country with the highest number of road deaths in Europe, I hadn't even thought about the poor animals.

I think this trip is not happening

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 17/05/2011 19:50

yanbu because of the drive and heat.

CurrySpice · 17/05/2011 19:51

So it's not his age, it's thatyou don't really trust the teachers?

That's fair enough btw

Rebecca41 · 17/05/2011 19:58

I agree with you. I didn't send DS on his first school trip aged 4. It was a long way, and long day, and I know him well enough to know that he wouldn't have enjoyed it. Stick to your guns.

ceebeegeebies · 17/05/2011 20:01

Haven't read the rest of the thread but imo, YANBU. DS1 is nearly 5 and I don't like the thought of him going on a school trip (mainly cos he has a habit of disappearing and I am not sure I can let go enough to trust someone else to be constantly looking for him).

He did go to the park with nursery when he was 4 but that was a very short journey in staff cars and was slightly different to a zoo where there is more opportunity for him to do a runner.

Yukana · 17/05/2011 20:01

Personally, from my experience with 'school trips' (especially the zoo) they weren't fun in the slightest, the school group moves too quickly for them to properly explore and have fun, and come the end of it you just want to go home.

I'd take your DS to the zoo yourselves. :) He'd learn and enjoy himself a lot more.

mumnotmachine · 17/05/2011 20:05

When mine were in nursery/reception the kids couldnt go unless accompanied by an adult- we could "look after" another kid if the parents couldnt make it for any reason, but I never took responsibility for another child.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 17/05/2011 20:09

Zoos are vile.

BlueFergie · 17/05/2011 20:18

Mmm my DD went on a zoo trip last year, she would have been almost exactly 3.5 years at the time. Her pre school take them on a few trips a year - art gallery, farm and zoo. The ratios are about the same 4 adults for 18-20 kids and it is coach as well so no boosters.
Having said all that we are not abroad so heat not really an issue. The zoo is about a 10 minute drive and it is only for the morning from 9.30 to 12.30. Also the I trust the teacher implicitly. I think she is more careful of the kids than most parents (including me) and her level of control over them is amazing. They follow instructions from her without question.
It never occured to me to have a problem with any of the trips because of the faith I have in the school and teachers, but i think I would have reservations about a full day trip in huge heat.

doley · 17/05/2011 20:22

I don't think there enough adults .

I wouldn't let mine go at that age .

RJRabbit · 17/05/2011 20:23

I have a 3 year old. Hell no!

doley · 17/05/2011 20:23

are enough *

LillianGish · 17/05/2011 20:25

Where do you live? Does he want to go? If so I think I would let him and offer to go as a helper so you can lend a hand. When we lived in Berlin I remember DS going on a trip to a puppet theatre in the depths of winter (minus 12 degrees and snow on the ground). He would have been a similar age to your ds - maybe even youinger. I remember they walked to the bus stop, took a bus to the u-bahn and then took a train the the theatre. Couldn't imagine for the life of me it would have been feasible with kids that young, but they were absolutely fine and they had a great time. I'm very much of the philosophy "When in Rome...." Yes, you could take him another time, but would that be as much fun as going with his classmates?

RedHotPokers · 17/05/2011 20:31

I would find out if your DS is that bothered about going or not.
If he is desperate to go, and all of his friends are going, could either your DH go with him, or you go and your DH look after your other DC?

I think I would try and find a way round it if my DC really wanted to go.

Btw I would have let my DD go at 3yo, but we live in the Uk and I trust the teacher/TAs.

bringinghomethebacon · 17/05/2011 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerHissyness · 17/05/2011 20:39

I have a 5.5yo.

I'm not agreeing to him going on the Reception Trip to the zoo as I don't think it's necessary.

My school has not even had the good grace to ask, or even tell us anything any of about the arrangements, timings, logistics, costs or anything, and for this reason, he'll not be going. I wouldn't let a parent/friend take my DS on a trip with a lack of information like this, let alone 90 odd kids in 2 coaches.

I would not let a 3yo travel in a coach without me, boosters/seatbelts or no boosters/seatbelts. There is PLENTY of time for trips.

domesticslattern · 17/05/2011 20:39

22 small children and four adults? Are you completely sure that's the ratios, because that sounds a bit Shock to me? My DD's nursery is going to a museum next month, so that's three and four year olds and a smattering of two year olds, and we're told that the ratio has to be 1:1. (Which seems astonishing to me as well, but there you go).

Would they be grateful for parent volunteers?

Rebeccaruby · 17/05/2011 20:46

I would be inclined to let him go. All his classmates will be talking about what they did at the zoo. Which country is it though? Is the real issue that the other kids will be Southern Mediterranean types who have been brought up in the heat, and will not be used to using sunscreen, and the staff might not be sensitive to his needs? Would be more worried about the animals in captivity aspect.

Original poster
pombal · 17/05/2011 20:59

RHP - DS will really want to go, and I'm sure they'll do some sort of class work afterwards and they'll all be talking about it, so I'll be the bad guy if I say no.

bringinghomethebacon - I may talk to the teacher about the logistics of taking DS2 tomorrow, I just imagine there will be some sort of programme to follow and having to stop to feed and change DS2 prob won't fit it.

domesticslattern - honestly that is the ratio, you should see swimming lessons here 1:8 for the 3-4 yr olds and the lifeguard sits reading a book and I'm not allowed to be poolside only in upstairs gallery. DS doesn't go anymore!

I don't want to be the killjoy all the time though and I do vere towards the helicopter end of the parenting spectrum, so it's good to know what everyone thinks.

OP posts:
MollyMurphy · 17/05/2011 21:06

That doesn't sound like enough adults to me with so many little ones in a large park. I don't think YABU - I would question letting my own child go.

ElenorRigby · 17/05/2011 21:07

YANBU
Our DD is 3 1/2 too, she's at a fee paying nursery.

Both me and DH are very happy with her care at nursery with the relatively high staff to child ratio and excellent care.

However both of us agree DD will not go on outside trips without either I or DP to keep an eye on her ie accompany her on any outside trip.

The staff at DD's nursery are completely OK with either/both of us going with her.

LillianGish · 17/05/2011 21:09

Where do you live?