to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

allegedley

I don't out vinegar on mah chips

fellatio he is called ginster now in my head. Either that or gangster

My intentions? Originally to have a look and a giggle. Now, though I've met the man of my dreams. I reckon Gster's real name is Thor.

...... returns from lunch

Question number 2

We've already had several steamy encounters. You're in the woods ( again ! ) and you stumble across myself and TLD. You're not entirely sure what's going on but it doesn't look legal.

Do you :

call the police

call the RSPCA

call a friend

?

Well I feel educated.

Aargh! I have to do some work!
I will be back for the chance to win a romantic date with GSTER to Watford Gap services where we will dine on pasties and Fanta.

So happy to finally know what vinegar strokes means. Too to ask!

How to make a bloke laugh at the wrong time. When you're having sex and he's getting close, say "are you at the vinegar stroke love?" Cue him collapsing with giggles and being unable to finish.

blimey these woods are seeing some action...it is a dogging spot? i bet it is you know....

Oh hang on-x-posted and missed the question...

Ok, Ginster (sorry it has stuck).

On coming accross you and TLD in the woods I merely slink back into the shadows so I can video the whole unsavoury scene on my mobile. For later.

There are dogs as well? It's crowded enough as it is.

Tecg - are you really a bloke or a MN regular having a larf?

I may ask you some technical questions to test you.

Q1. please explain what is the purpose of a wiggler in synchotron applications?

Watford Gap?

They can just PM me if I'm the winner. At least I've learnt something today. I thought the vinegar bit was from the face pulled when bean sprouting. And TLD has an Exocet

That's 2 things, I consider myself educated.

Right you lucky men, whoever wins can PM me.

I'm a bloke and a MN regular. I work in IT so don't know what a synchotron application is.

I have a wiggler, though...

There is a genuwine dogging spot near my house.

I mean you wouldn't expect it in the Cotswolds but there you are.

It is at the top of a place called Slad Hill (Laurie Lee would turn in his grave)

I only know this because some wag put a sign up saying 'dogging area' above a picture of rutting dogs. It was there for ages before the council took it away

Arf at Sarah.

My God. I just googled 'dogging'.

I wonder if the quality of the dogging party depends on the buffet, too?

Sarah, I'm married so you won't be winning me in a raffle. There's a load off your mind.

you had to google dogging?

Do you not know anything woman?

Am I allowed to be gagging but not looking for anything? I am married, after all.

I resent that! I have heard of dogging, I just never properly knew what it was. I thought it was something to do with mobile phones and sending text messages asking to have relations with people.

I know lots of other things, though.

Yes TLD. That'scalled taking matters into your own hands, I think

I smell truckloads of bovine defaecation

Gah at Watford Gap.

South Mimms or Heston please.

I believe you pssam

Oh tech,you poor thing.....

one night, at a local (ish) dogging spot a trusted colleague tells me that while patrolling the area (yeah! right!!) a man appeared from behind a bush, and ran straight across the road in front of their car.

he was butt naked except for a werewolf mask.

true story that.
maybe he was looking for bambi. or OP. the wolf mask is anyones guess really...all the better to eat you with my dear....