to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

ill just take the deer, dear.

What is going on?! Are TLD and Gster flirting?!

Keep up hairfull! They've already had a whole lotta man-on-man action in the woods!

I went out with a bloke when I was 15 who was really into art, bless him. It was like never the twain though, there was me on one side going on about beam engines of the industrial revolution and him on the other banging on about Mark Rothko and Vasarely. We both thought the other person was a boring bastard. He was blonde as well (ooh! ginster are you called Peter Kavanagh and did you go to Ilfracombe College?)

Having read AFs comments, should I change my name to ExocetCock?

I stand corrected.

A cougar and a deer. Some say it could never work, but a sly digit in yer pants knows no bounds.

Better? Although this is a family show y'know.

Oh I love Rothko. Ilfracombe, you say?

I love this thread.

We are all going 'worra load of old CRAP' re the OP, the deer, the crinkle-eyed orgasm fetishist and the vinegar strokes, but have found two blokes who are really nice.

Ooh though perhaps it is a double triple bluff and all these people are one and the same and it is all designed to get us to go and look and randymunters.net.

Must say I laughed at the convo yesterday (paraphrase)

ginster: come on then techdad, let's meet up for a shindig in the forest
techdad: all right then gorgeous you're on
ginster: how will I know which one is you then?
techdad: I will be the one holding a hamster

A cougar digit in your pants? Ouch, that smarts!!

Look! for the last time He is not called Ginster. Enough already with the pasties.

Ha ha!
But what are "vinegar strokes?"
I have so many questions...

But Fellatio, he's so tasty

northernrock, you'll regret asking that. Vinegar strokes are those last few strokes before a bloke "blows his beans", to put it impolitely.

Hope that helps.

At the risk of sounding too naïve to stay on the thread, what does vinegar finger mean?

Can you buy him from a petrol station?

Oh, x posts.

And I got it wrong

Tasty, tasty, very very tasty.

He's verrrryyyy tasty

'blows his beans'

Thanks TLD.
Still don't completely get the vinegar bit, but I am a little clearer...

You can northern and he only takes 1 min 20 secs to heat up.

Why on earth is it calledvinegar strokes?

This is turning into something else...

TLD - what exactly are your intentions on this here thread?!

And is called vinegar strokes after tha action one performs shaking vinegar out of a chip shop vinegar bottle (with slightly blocked aperture so you have to do it really fast)

Oh for fuck sake why type those words

Eww!

The vinegar bit is a reference to the way you shake a vinegar bottle to get the vinegar over your chips. Or in this case, over her clean dress.