to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

I hope you have fun and don't get murdered, OP.

ah, thanks Tech, nothing beats a bit of man love in the woods, same time next week ?

Is the OP for real?

Meeting a random bloke from a sex site in a forest?

I ditto the 'hope you don't get murdered' thought.

Jeez.

'All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?'

i have had a pretty shit last 24hours, but that made me laugh so hard...

Cripes, chaps. That WAS quick.

I'm only just back, they were wearing masks, which one were you?

I was the one with the hampster.

... in a gimp mask

Ahhhh I only saw the top of your head.

Is OP dead yet?

In my experience once a member is throbbing its almost all over anyway.

have i missed the man love in the woods again? Dammit. I'm gonna have to hang up my binoculars. Or find a different bush to lurk in.

When i used to live in Brighton near Kemp Town there was quite a lot of man love going on down in the undergrowth by the sea front. My girlfriend at the time made me walk down there with her. Bizzare to say the least. Men all walking alone up and down the path, occasionally stopping to exchange a few words with a stranger before disappearing under a hedge.

I've heard similar stories about Hampstead Heath come night time. Makes the OP's adventure sound like... well , a picnic in the woods.

Yes, Gster, you were "made" to walk down there by your "girlfriend". As i recall, you didn't require much persuading.

Thanks for earlier, it was most refreshing.

Awww. Do I hear distant wedding bells? This could be our very first mumsnet civil ceremony.

I thought I made it clear I'm not into a relationship at the moment

Not into a relationship, TLD. He just wants it fast and hard in the woods.

not heard it called ' the woods ' before.

Gah I missed the photo unveiling. PM me please anyone who saved it And you did say 'Nordic', you did. At 11:14:57 preeeeeeecisely.

I saw it but did not save. Didn't have the bloody chance, tbpfh. He whipped it down faster than Jordan whips down her top.

Damned unfair just cos I fell asleep :(

as i live in brighton at the moment can confirm what gster says. its called dukes mound, and it is were gay men go for a certain something something with complete strangers. never heard of some ones girlfriend -bf- making them go there though.

total fail bf

Feel I need to comment here (after unashamedly reading this post since it started!) - I missed the photo unveiling too!

Should I feel bad that this is the only reason for commenting? If it helps, I also hope OP is ok and survived her 'picnic'! :)

"its called dukes mound"

is it indeed? [wunk]

Oh and I used to live near Brighton, can totally agree with gster and cannydoit! Never took any boyfriends there though....