to be gagging for a no-strings-attached one night stand?

[Celibacyisnotforme]

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

optical illusion!!!!!

I once went on a date with someone who kept on (aggressively) trying to convince me that he was 6 foot 1. I am 6 foot and towered above him. It ended up with him saying 'come on then' and we both took our shoes off and stood up against the wall and got someone to measure us using my handbag as a ruler. That was a successful date

Apropos the rest of the thread, call me Mary Whitehouse but I cannot imagine anything WORSE than posting pics of myself on the internet and meeting in shadowy hotel rooms for a bit of action with a short ugly social-skill-free stranger.

ahem of course I meant tall nordic LOVE GOD

Not tight, Getorf - stockings.

Much muckier

I wonder why on earth any man would be drawn to an 'I need a good rogering' thread?

"Apropos the rest of the thread, call me Mary Whitehouse but I cannot imagine anything WORSE than posting pics of myself on the internet and meeting in shadowy hotel rooms for a bit of action with a short ugly social-skill-free stranger"

Same here.

Doesn't mean I don't want to hear all of the steamy details, though.

well to be fair if i saw a thread saying gagging for no strings shag i may be tempted to try my hand if i was of that persuasion. i met my lovely if slight short (5,11 apparently) man on the net but he doesnt mind at all when me at 5.7 tower over him in my heels

Had to go and find the Tena

Gster, you could always fill your profile in you great hunk of Nordic LoveGodiness

Men always add at least 2" to their height if they think they can get away with it.

Yes, I read the whole thread through with baited breath for the denoument, only to be CHEATED by the OP chickening out the original date because of fisting fiasco and a bit of stranger piss, and os now deciding to go on a bastarding picnic on a Monday afternoon.

I mean come on. These plainly invented fantasy friday night type threads are not as good as they used to be.

oh tower over him in heels that sounds wrong

The best friday night type thread was the one where Brian and his balls was born. My face ached from laughing at that thread...

GetOrfMoicase.

I came to mumsnet after I split with the mother of my daughter 2. She was being very difficult about access and I needed some advice about that and hear peoples experiences with introducing a new home to a toddler.

This thread I found interesting because you rarely hear women talk about wanting no strings sex.

thats what i was implying sara but he seems reluctant.

It is written (the Op I mean) a bit like the letters page in Razzle.

Supposedly. Allegedly. I mean that is what I imagine the letters page in a porno looks like, not that I have personal experience and knowledge of the same, oh dear me no Mary....

I don't think I could do it either. I'd be terrified!

Like bupcakes said though, nought wrong with being nosey

I have missed all the really fun threads

Sarah, I will make it my duty to find you Brianandhisballs...

All right then gster, fair enough. I will stop taking the piss now. We are very nice on here, despite being mardy arses.

Can you even BUY tan coloured stockings? Are you sure you are not confusing them with pop socks? Because you don't really want your hot date wearing those on a picnic with a tea dress. That would be a rather obscure fetish.

really gster? when i split from my h thats all i was up for and there are plenty of women that feel he same, doesnt necessarily that we want clandestine meetings in hotels with strangers i usually got to know the blokes quite well but it was just for fun no strings attached at all. but i often found that men dont really like it when its that way round they get a bit insecure if you dont fall madly in love with them.

Specially not held up with garters.

Arf at American Tan pop socks. Or should that be 'sox' for added naffness?

you can just do it like in the war and stain you legs with tea bags and then draw a seam up your leg or is that a bit make do and mend. perhaps i should retire to gransnet.

I bought some polka-dot pop sox from Topshop after I thought Fearne Cotton looked good in hers.

I, on the other hand, looked like I was on day release from a secure unit :(

I can't find Brian and his balls :( :(

"Men always add at least 2" to their height if they think they can get away with it."
Not just height...
Lovin' this thread. Although am not getting enough work done...

Am I the only one who can't see the pun in the thread title? The 'excuse the pun' opening line is worrying me.

nope cant see it either.