To say to DP who is the full-time wage earner this is what u are getting and that's that

[shinyshoes]

I work 3 evenings a week.

DP works full -time and is the main wage earner.

I put into the household pot but obviously DP's wages covers the majority of the bills.

I work when he is at home, I work my shifts around him, there is always one of us at home.

We have 3 children. I cook mostly when I can. I use the slow cooker but sometimes DP has to see to their meals.

There was a recipe on here a couple of weeks back, cheesy champs and beans, it sounded very nice and very filling and I thought my children would love it. Tomorrow I was thinking of having that or chilli prawns with salad leaves.

DP has expressed his disgust on both meals citing 'where's the rest' steak/sausage/meat of some sort.

I don't want to cook every night. I'd like to have just hot pastrami on rye, or prawns in chilli dip.

As he works full-time and comes home like he could eat one of us. AIBU to say 'listen I dont want to cook, like the cheesy champs or cook for yourself!'

The children would love dippy or easy to eat food

What do u do if u just can't be bothered but feel you have to

But expat, why shouldn't it make a difference who's working?

If I was out at work all day and dh was home all day I'd be well pissed off if he hadn't at least prepped the dinner, in fact he always does it if he's home and I'm working (which is v v rare)

Won't make assumptions on her DHs tastes.

But I strongly suspect roast chicken, veg and rice/cous cous (insert quick carb of choice) would be preferred over spuds and beans and cheese (although I would gobble up the latter pretty sharpish too since I can't live without beans)

It shouldn't, that's what I said.

I'd not be at all pissed off. It's my job to feed myself.

We discuss and still do. Not, 'I want a meat, potato and two veg every night or it's not a meal.' Okay, fair enough, then you'll have to cook it yourself x no. of times a week.

What chic said.

This isn't about whose job it is to cook. Sort that out with your DH. Tell him to cook on evenings when you work.

This is abut snacks vs real meals. And meals don't necessarily take hours to prepare.

It doesn't take long to grill some meat or boil a broccoli. Put salmon on a pan with a bit of water and it's cooked in minutes.

It all depends on what you wish for your DC. If all you want is for them to survive ("He's still here" ) then give them a loaf a bread a day and be done with it.

It does make a difference who is working. The answer seems simple to me: when he works outside the home, she cooks. When it is her turn to work outside the home- which is only 3 nights a week- he cooks. What could be simpler than that as a compromise of sorts? If he won't do this, then, tough, as long as it's not a meal he actively dislikes, he has what she cooks and beans on toast it is, seems fair enough.
If they're both working that day, they take it in turns.

It's either that or have massive rows or time-and-motion studies about how much either of them 'works'.

It is true what people say here, though, quick, simple meals need not be UNnutritious.

Oh, spare me, Cote. It's hardly starvation rations if dinner's a jacket potato.

And if this guy's the type who won't eat pasta, I somehow doubt he's going to go for steamed salmon and broccoli.

I don't eat pasta.
Can't stand the stuff.
Love fish and veg though

No, no motion studies needed. FGS just make something you know he'll like. It's not rocket science. I'd be pissed off if I came home and DH had cooked liver and onions because I hate liver and onions. There are plenty of things DH doesn't like, I can't imagine saying tough shit, that's what's on tonight, eat it or sort yourself out.

"A jacket potato with cheese and beans would absolutely not fill my husband up. He is not a manual worker he is a desk worker and is largely stationary.
He is also 6'2 and weighs 16.5 stone."

Well my DH is 6'5 tall, weighs 17.5 stone has an on his feet job for 8 hours a day and he would consider a jacket potato with cheese and beans a filling meal. The amount of fibre in a meal like that I would expect a small elephant to fill full. He might not like it and would prefer a sausage or 3 with it but that's a different argument. Completely with all of expats arguments on this thread.

My "working" day finishes at 7pm when the kids go to bed, why the flying fuck should I then throw a chicken in the over and chop some brocolli or prepare a spag bog if I feel like potato and beans to eat. Why does the males working day get to finish but mine continue?

I have not read all the thread but I just wanted to add my twopenneth. I work full time and DH works one week day and one day at the weekend so he does do the majority of the cooking. I would not dream of complaining about what he had cooked. Sometimes he has made something that I just don't fancy BUT at least he has made me something and i don't have to come in and start cooking. I'm grateful for anything really. Even if it was just beans on toast sometimes. If I really didn't want what he had cooked I'd make myself something else and wouuldn't mind.

Everybody is different. And satiety (or satiation if you're talking within meal), is largely down to protein content, although fibre is also important!

And please, read my posts properly before you come out swearing.

Clearly you missed the bit where I said he's an adult and he can sort himself out if he doesn't like it.

If you can't be arsed to put a chicken in the oven during the day which takes less time than washing a potato and then cutting it putting butter on it, grating cheese etc., well, what can I say?!

And where does this random 7pm cut off time come into it. Why does your day finish at 7 but his doesn't?

Just curious like?

Frankly, Librashavingetc, that's just unkind.

My dh gets up at 5 am, commutes to London, returns at 8.30pm. It's the least I can do to cook a decent meal. Yes, sometimes I 'm not hungry but I wouldn't lie on the sofa watching the tv and tell dh to get his own dinner or have half a packet of Digestives and a glass of wine because that's what I was having.

Anyway, enough of the chicken, it was one example of an easy dinner. I am not a poultry farmer

There are many more quick easy meals that have been posted earlier!

Sometimes/All the time (!) it is difficult to find a meal that suits both kids and adults (and the poor mum/cook is just happy to eat something at all). If the meal is nutritious for the kids and includes protein, carbs, vitamins+minerals in sufficient amounts, that'll do.

If your DH is still hungry after the cheesy champs and there's sausages in the fridge/freezer, put two on foil and turn the grill/oven on. Should warn your DH however that for adults having a lot of meat/sausages isn't really very healthy every day as adult energy requirements are not that high unless your DH is a professional track athlete/Olympic swimmer/etc/carpenter/builder/manual worker. Adults who work at desk jobs are still better off having a bigger portion of salad and extra pieces of toast/ extra potato rather than more meat. ( I hope the prawn+salad meal contains some carbs like bread rolls from a packet?)

If it's just a case that he feels a lot of your meals are "not like the traditional hot meals my parents always had", a compromise could be made by sometimes doing one of those on a day when you don't work and he is around to help look after/take the kids out, ie weekend for most people or whichever day that is for you. Personally I don't like the "traditional hot meals" myself as they're too stodgy for me (even when nicely done) but I do them for the family if I feel that's what kids need nutrition-wise.

Well I´m a selfish cow as I mostly cook what I fancy eating tbh.

I get so fed up of people having no idea what they would like to eat when I ask & then saying, "oh,but I didn´t want that" that I please myself most of the time.

They either eat it or sort themselves out.

Men who work full time really do need a proper square meal not some flaky shit just because you fancy it and can't be bothered. Buy him the food he wants and he can cook it. I never cooked for my first husband as he never ate it, so I ended up letting him cook for himself, but I always made sure there was food for him to cook

To the OP - how about that modern invention, the ready meal? You find them in the chiller cabinets - and they even make frozen ones! Two minutes in the microwave oven and voila!

I think people are missing the point about the OP. Basically the OP is saying 'I am cooking X whether you like it or not'. Her DP has said 'not'. OP is grumping about the fact that her DP doesnt like the proposed meal. On an occasional basis this is fine but as a matter of course I think this just sounds really selfish. I just dont get this 'let him sort himself out' business. The P bit in DP means partner, not just some random lodger.

Well, yes, but partner also means, 'Hey, it's my way or stuff you, too' in the sense that 'I want a meat, potato and two veg every night, not what you fancy. You, woman, cook it.'

I can't stomach cheese myself. Other than the odd splash of milk in my coffee, I can't abide any sort of lactose.

But I make cheese-based dishes for the family, as they like cheese.

But if DH told me, 'Hey, it's cheese every night or it's not a 'proper' meal,' then he could damn well sort himself out a few nights a week.

He's also capable of visiting supermarkets and buying food, in fact, he used to work in one and is better at selecting certain things that I am. He used to do this before I came along, as I did, on top of working full-time.

Exactly, BrokenBanana, but it seems there's one rule when it's women who work FT and another when it's the man.

mashed potato with cheese mixed in and beans on top -
sounds like babyfood?

Well, I used to work fulltime (in a job where co-workers were more male than female so yes, it was a "man's job") and sometimes more than 55 hours a week - I still cooked when I got home! (unless I worked the night shift and wasn't there).

Whenever DH cooked a meal, whether it was potatoes and meat, or salad and prawns, I was just grateful it was there and never complained. Never even complained if the dish didn't turn out right/overcooked/not my favourite......when you are tired after a full day's work, gratitude and the clock ticking usually win out. Hmm....I wonder - are people who are energetic enough to complain maybe energetic enough to cook instead?? (shutting the windows amid the sound of cat being set among the pigeons...)

One thing was that we never discussed the meal before it appeared - once it's on the table, you're too hungry to complain. Besides, if ever a meal was too small, it was a great opportunity for.....more pudding/dessert! That's probably why we didn't complain :-p

If I didn't want to cook a 'big' meal I would say so, then say what I am cooking and offer the alternative (cook yourself or have what we're having plus something -maybe a Jacket with the prawns or sausages with the champ) Personally I couldn't be arsed to cook different things for everyone so would try to find a compromise. Haven't read the whole thread BTW but is just my take on the OP.