I am being BLACKMAILED

[bupcakesandcunting]

By some divvy on eBay

I bought a Benefit eyeliner off her for the princely sum of £4.20. Got it today and it's fake. I sent her this email:

"Hi,

I got the pencil this morning and I am really disappointed to see that it's a fake. It explains why it was so cheap but I buy Benefit a lot so I know a fake when I see it!

Can I have a refund please?"

She sent this reply:

"Hi there, I am sorry to hear you are not happy with the item, as far as my wholesaler states these are not fake but imports from USA, customer satisfaction is my priority and I would not knowingly sell fake items. As you are not happy I am willing to send a full refund once good feedback as been given. I wait for your reply.

Kind regards"

I just sent one back going "Hmmm, pretty sure that's blackmail."

Or is it bribery? I don't know. But still! Cheeky sod.

Should I leave shit feedback and sod the £4 or get therefund but lie? I am thinking of letting her keep the four quid and writing "SCRUBBY FUCK" as her feedback.

Haven't read thread, it is feedback extortion, report to e-bay.

Right you fuckers...

I got half way through this thread and I thought it would be a good idea to try Trin's handy hint about getting past the gag reflex when doing deep throat. DH seemed game (funny that).

Anyhow, I puked on his knob! I kept a tight seal and swallowed it back and carried on, with his manhood tasting of vom and tears in my eyes.

Just as DH was reaching, um, conclusion, I lokked up, and DS was standing in the doorway smiling

The single most traumatic 5 minutes of my life.

Thanks MN.

Ridiculous, brilliant thread. Now it's bloody late and I'm going to be a grumpy old hag tomorrow. ffs.

fark me you're all back

Has anyone said you should report to eBay? Because you definitely should, honestly, this sounds like extortion to me. Honestly.

Funniest thing I have read for ages. I wondered what could be so interesting about blackmail!
Thank you ladies

Holy shit queen, really?

Really, Exhasted!

I am actually traumitised. I don't know wether to laugh of give SS a heads up. What if DS says something at pre-school!

Also, my thoat hurts.

DH blames MN too.
I blame Trin.

OMFG QLQ!!!

How old is ds?what did he do?apart from smile?!
WTF did you say?
I'm really sorry, laughing and cringing at the same time.

I have just spent twrnty minutes of my life that i'll never get back reading this thread.

And i haven't got a fucking clue what the actual gist of it is. It's random as fuck. And the Backyardigans on the tele really aint helping.

morning all

queen, I'm no taking blame, I didn't make you do it AND I did say that its not something I can plan to do

sorry but

actually I do feel guilty, sorry

that could be rude....

I'm sober now, and replacing my Habit

hmm not too cringy...ish...maybe

then collapses with laughter about queen, sorry

I think Habit is pushing it slightly chickens

I miss the randomness of the backyardigans. They are Ace.

However, is Monster Munch a snack that children like and eat?

Whipme gets the Cunting Crown of Vulgarity for her contributions on this thread. Fanny mashing. Arf!

Queen

I do not love my DH enough for that!

Oh god. I think I sent a bunch of inappropriate messages to someone I shouldn't have last night.

I BLAME TRINITY.

Don't worry Quint- children usually prefer the pickled onion

Ach, don't feel guilty, Munchie.
We have vowed to only have "sexual contact" in locked rooms.
And I won't try DT after a glass of wine & some ripe goats cheese. I'd even warned up my kneck with all the wobbletude.

Oh, that fist pound thing is called a in our house after Fox "news" tried to smear the Obamas.

DS is three. He didn't say anything, so hopefully was too sleepy, although he'll probably say something in front of my father or something.

Great thread though! I was loling allll night!

WTF is a kneck?

Update on the skanky eBay bitchtwat hooky good seller...

I opened a dispute last night, detailing how the wicked cow tried to blackmail me, motherfucker stylee. This is what she sent back;

""I have not "blackmailed" you I was trying to resolve this problem easily, we are talking about a £4.20 item how can anyone get blackmailed over that? I did not ask you to lie! I have NOT told you these are counterfeit items and Ebay will be able to see the emails I have sent to you! I explained they are imports from USA NOT FAKE! I suggest in future you buy from Boots. It is not me that should be banned from Ebay but you for not giving sellers a chance to sort things out. I also explained if you did not want to leave feedback to send the item back which is what I would like you to do and then I will refund"

"Yes you did blackmail me, by saying that you would only issue me a refund IF I left you positive feedback. Why the hell would I leave positive feedback for an item that is fake? (We both know that is it fake, let's stop pretending. My dad works in the U.S regularly and I have bought Benefit when I have been visiting so don't try that one) If you'd just offered me the refund without the blackmailing part, I would have just left it and put it down to another scammer on eBay. But trying to get me to leave you positive feedback is plain rubbish. Do you even know what you're selling to people? It could blind them. And the amount is irrelevant. You were trying to resolve this by only offering me a refund if I left false feedback. How you can claim you're a reputable seller after that is laughable."

Daft bint. Negative feedback incoming.