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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am being BLACKMAILED

641 replies

bupcakesandcunting · 05/05/2011 19:28

By some divvy on eBay Angry

I bought a Benefit eyeliner off her for the princely sum of £4.20. Got it today and it's fake. I sent her this email:

"Hi,

I got the pencil this morning and I am really disappointed to see that it's a fake. It explains why it was so cheap but I buy Benefit a lot so I know a fake when I see it!

Can I have a refund please?"

She sent this reply:

"Hi there, I am sorry to hear you are not happy with the item, as far as my wholesaler states these are not fake but imports from USA, customer satisfaction is my priority and I would not knowingly sell fake items. As you are not happy I am willing to send a full refund once good feedback as been given. I wait for your reply.

Kind regards"

I just sent one back going "Hmmm, pretty sure that's blackmail."

Or is it bribery? I don't know. But still! Cheeky sod.

Should I leave shit feedback and sod the £4 or get therefund but lie? I am thinking of letting her keep the four quid and writing "SCRUBBY FUCK" as her feedback.

OP posts:
ReindeerBollocks · 05/05/2011 22:49

I am so out of sync....

Never mind :(

UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:49

what's behind the curtain?

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:50

quickly cups reindeer bollocks to calm her

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:50

I'm sorry, Reindeer. But I find your bollocks disturbing. They're putting me off my scotch egg.

UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:50

I think I saw Jenny Eclair once. In the world. In shops. With her Mum.

ReindeerBollocks · 05/05/2011 22:51

My bollocks are lovely

You can even fistula them...

UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:51

y'know that noise it makes when you cup some bollocks or just give em a light pat.

Tup, that's what it says! Tup.

That's onomatopeia that is.

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:52

mm I could nibble on a scotch egg

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:52

I'm sorry Reindeer, but your bollocks disturb me. They're putting me off my scotch egg.

ReindeerBollocks · 05/05/2011 22:53

Thank you WhipMe

I'm still not up for fanny mashing though, even though you are lovely

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:53

Tup.

mmm. just tested on dh. he looks puzzled.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:54

Ooh. Two bollock posts. Damn you, weird internet connection.

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:54

chickens - you have a malfunction!

TottWriter · 05/05/2011 22:54

I have snorted quite a few times reading this thread. I meant to only read the first page, but you sucked me in. Most indecent of you all.

UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:55

You probably have to say it to him as you do it the first few times then it'll stick.

Part the ballbag burka first mind!

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:55

two bollock posts . enough to build a fence?

ReindeerBollocks · 05/05/2011 22:55

A two bollock insult post!!

You are the first, chickens (and hopefully the last).

worraliberty · 05/05/2011 22:55

I could eat an eclair...if that makes me a screaming lesbian then so be it!

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:55

hmm, a fence of bollocks might smell bad in the summer

UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:56

no need to get drunk Tott for I have had but ONE small china mug of wine.

Trinity however got smashed, confessed al & went to bed with cheese on her chin.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:56

And it would attract vermin. And possibly Dale Winton.

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:56

gasping and begging lesbians are as good as the screamers, tbh

UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:57

worraliberty offers to eat jenny eclair -lez up now!

TottWriter · 05/05/2011 22:57

I never get drunk Sad I'm too damn boring for that. Plus it gives me seizures.

Still, I'm very good at pretending to get drunk...

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:58

of all the cream cakes, I would argue the eclair was quite hetero