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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am being BLACKMAILED

641 replies

bupcakesandcunting · 05/05/2011 19:28

By some divvy on eBay Angry

I bought a Benefit eyeliner off her for the princely sum of £4.20. Got it today and it's fake. I sent her this email:

"Hi,

I got the pencil this morning and I am really disappointed to see that it's a fake. It explains why it was so cheap but I buy Benefit a lot so I know a fake when I see it!

Can I have a refund please?"

She sent this reply:

"Hi there, I am sorry to hear you are not happy with the item, as far as my wholesaler states these are not fake but imports from USA, customer satisfaction is my priority and I would not knowingly sell fake items. As you are not happy I am willing to send a full refund once good feedback as been given. I wait for your reply.

Kind regards"

I just sent one back going "Hmmm, pretty sure that's blackmail."

Or is it bribery? I don't know. But still! Cheeky sod.

Should I leave shit feedback and sod the £4 or get therefund but lie? I am thinking of letting her keep the four quid and writing "SCRUBBY FUCK" as her feedback.

OP posts:
UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:14

Yes whips I am channeling Bernard Black & Withnail

ReindeerBollocks · 05/05/2011 22:14

Sperm - tis what I was saying - two vessels which aren't supposed to connect but do = fistula (most renal patients have one)

Put it this way - I'm one kinky bitch and DH has a fistula but we've done nothing sexual with it!

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:14

No. I speak estuary, innit Do I type Scottish?

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:14

I find alcohol inhibits my gag reflex

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:15

no, you type quite arousingly Wink

hmm, you arent who I thought you were..

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:16

Curiouser and curiouser.....

ReindeerBollocks · 05/05/2011 22:17

So who are you meant to be chickens?

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:17

for fucks sake people it's FISTING that's the only thing we all should be doing when we feel secure with our partners and are comfortably numbed with a few glasses of wine on a rainy tuesday evening

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:18

I dunno. Someone Scottish. But I'm not. I've never been further north than Windemere.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 05/05/2011 22:19

Omg Whip. Tuesday? You do fisting on Tuesdays? How disgusting. Everyone knows it's only esseptible on Wednesdays.

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:20

3 words,
lube it up

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:20

OMFG, Ferret is that super nanny woman! Her esseptible gave her away! Naughty spot? Naughty spot!?!?!?!?!!?

SpermTastesLikeMonsterMunch · 05/05/2011 22:20

tit enhancing is waay too obviously a load of bollocks and I know where you're coming from

men would say that type thing

BUT it makes sense that the fluid that holds part of the beginning of life would have 'good' stulff isn't it?

right bacl to whoreishness

so anal????

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:21

fucked up those twatty little asterisks
didnt I? necksnakes at my keyboard

UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:21
WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:21

you can lunge at my naughty spot with a brick anytime, you little eyebrowless tramp, you

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:22

Whip, I fear we may actually not know each other. This is hideously embarassing

SpermTastesLikeMonsterMunch · 05/05/2011 22:22
southeastastra · 05/05/2011 22:23

just read the op and bits but i think it's quite interesting how many fakes are out there and it's incredibly hard to spot - i've seen tons of benefit stuff for sale dead cheap (car boot sales) that look genuine. it's really quite a con

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:23

now, what about a titwank.
anyone?

ReindeerBollocks · 05/05/2011 22:24

So what is whatshername going to do about the blummin eyeliner?

GRILL TRIN (throw me on a burger whilst you're there)

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 05/05/2011 22:24

Oh, SEA You know not what den of vice you have entered.

SpermTastesLikeMonsterMunch · 05/05/2011 22:24

what a cross post, that was class whip

SEA shouts, help, whats going on, this is a EBBBAAAAAAAAY thread

UrsulaBuffay · 05/05/2011 22:24

...they met one warm Thursday evening, snaked necks across a spunky keyboard & felt as though they'd known each other all their lives...

WhipMeIndiana · 05/05/2011 22:25

southeastastra - read the threaaaaaadddddd

someone was just about to brick me in the naughty spot...

oh yessss