I am being BLACKMAILED

[bupcakesandcunting]

By some divvy on eBay

I bought a Benefit eyeliner off her for the princely sum of £4.20. Got it today and it's fake. I sent her this email:

"Hi,

I got the pencil this morning and I am really disappointed to see that it's a fake. It explains why it was so cheap but I buy Benefit a lot so I know a fake when I see it!

Can I have a refund please?"

She sent this reply:

"Hi there, I am sorry to hear you are not happy with the item, as far as my wholesaler states these are not fake but imports from USA, customer satisfaction is my priority and I would not knowingly sell fake items. As you are not happy I am willing to send a full refund once good feedback as been given. I wait for your reply.

Kind regards"

I just sent one back going "Hmmm, pretty sure that's blackmail."

Or is it bribery? I don't know. But still! Cheeky sod.

Should I leave shit feedback and sod the £4 or get therefund but lie? I am thinking of letting her keep the four quid and writing "SCRUBBY FUCK" as her feedback.

Ursula, that might be my favourite MN quote ever

Fuppy purrlease make it a photo of the week winner

I'm stealing it chicken

Tastes like gone off lemons doesn't it bupcakes? Nasty yuck

I only swallow on special occasions

fucking hell do we need a word for the fistpunchy thing?

fistular? fisting, I'm getting right into this now.

I suggested this thread for a MN classic and it now is some kind of hard core classic. Ladies. you have disappointed me.

The thing is, I know what flavour Monster Munch. Roast Beef.

I thought spunk was good for the hair and nails.

It's Or maybe .

Fistular is actually a fat arm thingy please don't ever use that

God, I gag sometimes just brushing my teeth - deep throat is NOT for me.

I taught you well Shirley
Just don't forget the hands.
Never forget the hands.

Exactly! Roast Beef, right on the money

It stings if you get it in yer mince pie.

Am I talking about the eyeliner or Harry Monk?

spunk actually tastes like what the owner of the spunk ate a few hours before.
it's science

Spunk is actually good for weight loss. I managed on a diet of spunk and coffee for 6 months so I could fit into my size 8 wedding dress...

Really?

No.

Spunk tastes and smells of May Trees. You know. Those trees what smell of spunk?

no?

Anyway...I am liking the idea tha MNHQ look at the first half of this thread and chortle a bit, put it in Classics and there we are...spunky lesbian cock munchers.

It's two weight watcher points per....ermm...pop?

Yes the hedges that smell of jizz!

have conducted experiments on spunk flavours.
dh ate all the easter eggs and got very lucky

dickie

Up with the hands, down with the gob, yeah?

bupcakes, I'd call benefit. They'll crack down on it, send her some scary lawyers letters and you may get some (proper) eyeliner for your troubles.

Failing that, I'd assemble a posse of MNetters, hotwire a motor, shoot round her place, tie her to a bannister and ram it up her nose so hard that she'll have a built in eyeliner dispenser for life. Sorted.

Is that true, WhipMe?

That'll explain DHs Lemon tasting spunk and his fondness for lemon tea...