I am being BLACKMAILED

[bupcakesandcunting]

By some divvy on eBay

I bought a Benefit eyeliner off her for the princely sum of £4.20. Got it today and it's fake. I sent her this email:

"Hi,

I got the pencil this morning and I am really disappointed to see that it's a fake. It explains why it was so cheap but I buy Benefit a lot so I know a fake when I see it!

Can I have a refund please?"

She sent this reply:

"Hi there, I am sorry to hear you are not happy with the item, as far as my wholesaler states these are not fake but imports from USA, customer satisfaction is my priority and I would not knowingly sell fake items. As you are not happy I am willing to send a full refund once good feedback as been given. I wait for your reply.

Kind regards"

I just sent one back going "Hmmm, pretty sure that's blackmail."

Or is it bribery? I don't know. But still! Cheeky sod.

Should I leave shit feedback and sod the £4 or get therefund but lie? I am thinking of letting her keep the four quid and writing "SCRUBBY FUCK" as her feedback.

I think there are about 27 people here eyebrow

ursula - nobody wanted 'wobbletude' let it go.

now lez off with someone! Now!

I really must apologise for running my mouth off ad lloking like a cheap whore AND my total innability to spell, type, be coherent

Whaaaaa? Lezzing off? Who will be my lezbie friend? :(

just let it dribble down your chin, Trin

Wha?

'thunderthighs' and 'paintedwhore' I'm seeing lezza innuendo everywhere

I found in my extensive research that if you swallow the taste doesnt linger. If you spit it tends to leave a spermy taste in your gob.

Trin, I favour gobbing in the recipients belly button. They love that

bupcakes - I see you with Ursula.

dame dirty shirley is mine...

but then I turn up at the school run with dried spunk on my chin

I once had a long conversation with the headteacher knowing that I had missed some and had dried spunk on my left boob chesty bit

seriously I was wishing the place would burn down..

Ursula, embrace the !

Sperm, contrary to popular belief, does not taste salty. Salty would be preferable to the actual taste, which is bitter, chemically and a bit like hairspray.

ok. Necksnake-deep throating, I get it now

Trin you have to aim the cock right at the back of the throat......sees DickieDavis...ask HER!

Buppy, I am your comedy double. You know this, I know this. Let's scissor.

chickens
then the sheets get even stickier fo'shizzle

sperm tastes like monster munch, trufax.

It's not the taste, it's the consistancy. Phlegmy.

you could have a spit bucket by the side of the bed Trin? Handy for chewing tobacco too!

Hang on, I fucking x posted with the dried spunk on the chin Trin story. There aint an emoticon for this so let's go for...!!!!

Damn it's nearly ten and everyone's got leasable partners (I know the 10pm rule would work out badly for me)

I do like the term wobbletude though - can we keep it please?

I then proceeded to have a filthy dream about said HT that night

TrinityRhino!

You can keep Shirl', Whipme. Her fanny is like an encyclopedia of cobwebs.