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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want there to be a recognised term for when people answer questions you did not ask in your OP

118 replies

ellifino · 05/05/2011 14:49

Grin

OP: How long do I need to cook a soft boiled egg for?

Answer: Soft boiled eggs are very high in cholesterol you know. Why not have some steamed fish?

Answer: Why are you cooking at this time of day?

Answer: Are you pregnant OP? Because you shouldn't eat them soft boiled if you are.

Answer: Have you thought about going on a cookery course OP? Sure Start are running them these days.

Answer: Leave the bastard!!

Grin

This often happens on my threads and it would be useful to be able to say without snark "thanks everyone, but can you all stop [insert phrase here] because I really just need to know how long to boil an egg!"

OP posts:
JeremyKylesPetProject · 05/05/2011 16:16

Tantrum typing.

FourFingeredKitkat · 05/05/2011 16:17

Tyelperion's Offtopicry gets my vote!

VinegarTits · 05/05/2011 16:20

when the water starts boling, put toast in toaster, when toast pops, egg is done

Blatherskite · 05/05/2011 16:20

But the answers were on topic, just not on the tangent the Op wanted.

Ooh, I've got it - Tangentism :)

Original poster
ellifino · 05/05/2011 16:22

Discussing this phenomenon earlier today someone described it as being "helpy" which is very different to being helpful.

OP posts:
Blatherskite · 05/05/2011 16:23

When the children try to help here (thereby causing more work) we call it Van-helping.

I think we'd probably been watching some sort of Vampire movie when we came up with that one!

wotnochocs · 05/05/2011 16:25

i think the word is 'politician'

thetideishigh · 05/05/2011 17:01

I think it's called giving a politician's answer

IvantaOuiOui · 05/05/2011 17:04

On another forum I go on, it is known as being "helpy" or "helpiness" eg

Q. How can I lose 4 stone safely?
A. Why don't you accept and love yourself as you are?

KristinaM · 05/05/2011 17:07

conversation

working9while5 · 05/05/2011 17:09

My instinctive reaction is, "yeah, conversation"

I teach kids about this in social skills lessons.

It's a topic shift. We call it "bridging" (following therapy based on www.socialthinking.com)and I suspect there is a related linguistic term for it (bridging reference? inference?) but my linguistic terminology is rusty. It's where the responder wants to talk about their topic but makes a reference to your topic to introduce their own preferred topic e.g.

You: Where did you go on hols?
Me: Tuscany
You: Oh yeah, tuscany's fab. Not as fab as Morocco though. John and I went there last year. The food is fantastic. I am cooking a Moroccan spiced lamb tonight actually. Didn't I lend you my pestle and mortar?

working9while5 · 05/05/2011 17:10

Cross posted with Kristina Grin

Animation · 05/05/2011 17:14

Thetideishigh - I like your - "Politician's Answer."

Original poster
ellifino · 05/05/2011 17:15

Conversation is not the same as 30 single minded harpies deciding that what you really meant to ask is where to find childcare so that you can go on a Surestart cookery course with a view to eventually opening your own egg boutique offering free range 'good' carbs to working mothers who don't have the time to open their ubiquitous copy of How To Cook.

OP posts:
QueenofDreams · 05/05/2011 17:21

Surely it should be called threadjacking?

Although gibberwanking is pretty good too Grin

Animation · 05/05/2011 17:23

I'm not getting gibberwanking?

Pagwatch · 05/05/2011 17:25

Nah, it's not conversation.

A conversation meanders to the mutual enjoyment of all involved.
This is the op asking a question and responders banging on about tenuously related shit.

oooh. What about tenuousity ?

swiperstopswiping · 05/05/2011 17:27

Oh yes, this hacks me right off too.

I posted a while ago asking people to recommend a good double buggy with two handles rather than a single bar.

It turned into an interrogation about why I wanted two handles (easier for me to walk my dog with two) and why couldn't I walk my dog such and such a way and how I should be able to do x, y and z with the dog lead.

I posted asking for advice on double buggies, not a fecking master class on how to walk my dog!!!

Will try to find the thread actually, I lost it a bit Blush

swiperstopswiping · 05/05/2011 17:32

here

Pagwatch · 05/05/2011 17:38

But to be honest you were never really clear about why you wanted a single bar.

It's not as if you have a dog.

swiperstopswiping · 05/05/2011 17:40

Grin pagwatch.

Pagwatch · 05/05/2011 17:42

Hahaha.

I am such a twit

I had a great image of a dog in a pushchair but end up linking the lovely Margot.
That is pretty bloody tenuous

swiperstopswiping · 05/05/2011 17:44

Thanks for clarifying pagwatch! I was just searching the thread for margot leadbetter references!

Knofje · 05/05/2011 17:47

Surely, 'Shut the fuck up with all the tangential comments' would do? No?