OP: How long do I need to cook a soft boiled egg for?
Answer: Soft boiled eggs are very high in cholesterol you know. Why not have some steamed fish?
Answer: Why are you cooking at this time of day?
Answer: Are you pregnant OP? Because you shouldn't eat them soft boiled if you are.
Answer: Have you thought about going on a cookery course OP? Sure Start are running them these days.
Answer: Leave the bastard!!
This often happens on my threads and it would be useful to be able to say without snark "thanks everyone, but can you all stop [insert phrase here] because I really just need to know how long to boil an egg!"