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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have wanted very badly to have hit this woman.

142 replies

Islandlady · 04/05/2011 18:41

It was my aunts funeral today.

The road where she lived with her DH has limited parking and as there is a school, office buildings and a supermarket, parking is chaotic to say the least.

As we had 5 cars we got the council to suspend parking, we were advised by neighbours to have this from 6 this morning up until 12 noon, this was to stop the office workers parking in the street and the early morning shoppers, we didnt need the spaces after 12 as people were going straight to a hotel for the wake.

We did have problems with people ignoring the signs and trying to park but my two nephews, my BIL and my DH were on sentry duty.

Five minutes before the hearse and cars were due to arrive we heard shouting outside, we kept my Mum (Aunts Sister) and my Aunts DH away from the window and I went outside to see what was happening.

Some selfish nasty COW had tried to park in one of the spaces, she was screaming and shouting that she was only going to be 5 minutes, whilst she was blocking the road and shouting the hearse and cars turned up.

The funeral director tried to reason with her, she then got out of her car walked to the side of the hearse, she had an opened can of coke which she THREW at the hearse, it bounced of the glass side spraying coke all over the glass and dripping down the side.

Then she got back into her car drove of down the road stopped, and blasted rap music at full volume.

The FD was totally shocked and reasoned with her again then threatened to call the police, and after a lot of swearing, the F,C and W words were used
drove of still with music blaring.

We have just got back from the police station, my BIL had taped the whole thing on his phone and we have her car number, and the FD will give a statement.

Hit her, I wanted to rip the face off her escpoecially after the funeral when I was told Aunts DH and my MUM were crying their hearyts out as they could hear the music and the swearing.

Sorry for the Long post

OP posts:
HalfTermHero · 04/05/2011 22:19

YANBU. Crazy bitch wants burying herself, imho. Behaving like that she was very lucky not to have been smacked.

Your poor mother. I hope she is bearing up; the disrespect must have made the sad day much more upsetting then it was already, iykwim.

scurryfunge · 04/05/2011 22:19

It may not be criminal damage but there are Public Order offences if you are in England or Wales.

Salmotrutta · 04/05/2011 22:24

If the Police were shocked by the footage I'm sure they will take some action over this.

So awful that this happened to you.

Sad
hairfullofsnakes · 04/05/2011 22:28

Yes! Send to the press! Brilliant idea!

fearnelinen · 04/05/2011 22:30

Send the footage into the Sun - it'll be like the cat bin lady all over again.

YANBU, of course, this is absolutely shocking. But on a more important note (more important than this piece of shit of a woman) I am sorry for your loss. I hope that there was some part of the day where you were able to celebrate her live and recall good memories of her.

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls · 04/05/2011 22:31

Some people are unbelievable, if they don't do anything or can't do anything then definitely youtube it and national papers - would suggest one of the morning news programmes!

fearnelinen · 04/05/2011 22:31

life

HalfPastWine · 04/05/2011 22:36

I've been thinking more about this and I agree with the others, you should get this out there on You Tube etc, that bitch needs exposing, she really does.

It would be upsetting for the family to see again but that cow needs teaching a lesson.

ratspeaker · 04/05/2011 22:40

Sorry for you and your family's loss and the disrespect you were shown

as for offences
Breach of the peace?
Behaviour likely to cause breach of the peace?
Threatening behaviour?

I'd also be tempted to go to the local papers though if she's charged it may be sub judice

charmed185 · 04/05/2011 22:40

firstly I am so sorry for your loss and secondly what a horrible woman, how dare she do this to you and your family. I hope you take this much further and she gets what is coming to her

CarnivalBizarre · 04/05/2011 22:46

The woman in question is clearly the scum of the earth and like another poster said, she is probably well known to the police already - I hope they throw the book at her for her disgusting behaviour

We had a sort of similar situation at my uncles funeral - we left his house, there was the hearse and then 3 limos carrying close family and then many cars carrying other family and friends following behind

The drive to the cemetary requires a short journey on the motorway - just 2 junctions ...when some fucking prick decided to cut up the funeral cortege, beeping his horn and gesturing, his mate in the passenger seat was hanging out of the window effing and blinding for the first limo after the hearse to move over so they could pass - I was ...well we were all livid! My cousin wanted to follow the little shits cos he was so mad

Sorry for your loss and I hope your mum is OK x

GapsAGoodUn · 04/05/2011 22:47

Islandlady I am amazed by your restraint. What an utterly despicable thing to have done.

I would definitely ask for a charge to be brought, but if the police seem unwilling to do anything, then do please contact the media and post on Youtube.

I am revolted that anyone could have so little humanity.

maighdlin · 04/05/2011 22:50

Sorry for your loss.

that is disgraceful behaviour. when my uncle died we had the funeral at our house and someone tried to park outside the house. we approached her and got the exact opposite reaction you did, the poor woman was nearly crying, she even sent flowers to my mum the next day.

its a pity that "generally being a knob" is not a criminal offence.

Rindercella · 04/05/2011 22:56

IslandLady, I am so sorry that you, your mother and your aunt's family had to witness this shameful behaviour at such a distressing time. It is just appalling that someone can behave in such a manner. I do wonder sometimes how much human empathy someone can have if this is how they behave.

At my husband's funeral last week we were shocked that people deliberately drove faster at roundabouts to cut between the hearse and following limos. There was absolutely zero respect shown by these drivers and obviously, because they had the legal right of way they also presumed to have the moral one too.

If I see a funeral procession I always take my foot off the gas and take a moment to privately pay my respects to the person who has passed and their family. I have always done this; my recent bereavement has made me glad that I have done so and highlighted the reason why it is so bloody important to pay your respects at such a time.

I sincerely hope you get this arse of a woman publically named and shamed.

Look after yourself (and your Mum) x

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 04/05/2011 23:01

I would also suggest that you don't go public until you have checked with the police, so that you don't prejudice any prosecution they might bring.
However, once you get the all clear, why not go to one of the mags like Take A Break or Full House? They love this sort of story and they also pay for stories like this. You could probably get a couple of hundred quid and treat your myour mum/family to something nice.

edam · 04/05/2011 23:04

Good grief.

So sorry to hear about your Aunt. I do hope the police find a suitable offence with which to charge this unbelievably aggressive and cruel women.

And DO bear in mind Youtube and the local and national papers - the footage was on there before the mad lady who put a cat in the bin was charged. It didn't stop the prosecution, it helped it (because in that case they didn't know who she was). Bet the Daily Mail would be interested.

Original poster
Islandlady · 04/05/2011 23:08

Thanks for all you kind thoughts I am on my sisters computer at the mo and have shown her all your replies its good to know there are nice people out there - thank you.

The funeral was lovely - Auntie had a lot of friends and yes we have other nice memories of today to fall back on.

I am staying on the mainland until the weekend now so that I will be around
in case the police need to speak to me.

All of the nieces and nephews want to put it on you tube but us grown ups have decided to let the Police deal with it and will only make a scene if the Police dont do anything.

Mum and Uncle are doing Ok but my Mum did say a word that I didnt even think she knew it even shocked my Dad Shock

Will update when I know what the Police will do BTW I have nothing but praise for the FD - very professional kind and caring

OP posts:
Original poster
Islandlady · 04/05/2011 23:11

Rindercella

Thank you so much for your kind words when you yourself are recenty bereaved thats meant a lot to me

OP posts:
LostInSockLand · 04/05/2011 23:25

I always find it amazing that some people can behave like such twats.

The first funeral I ever attended was that of a work colleague and halfway there some boy racer type bloke decided he couldn't be arsed to wait and pulled out into the funeral procession, he then decided we were too slow and drove along the pavement instead.

Sorry this happened to you and your family, disgusting behaviour.

Inertia · 04/05/2011 23:37

Islandlady, my condolences for your loss, and I hope that your fond memories of your Aunt have helped overcome the horrible events of this morning. It's astounding that people can act in such an utterly despicable way.

I think you're wise to let the Police take action in the first instance- might be as well to ensure that nieces and nephews fully understand why it wouldn't be helpful to publicly post footage at this point, they might do it thinking they're helping.

claretandcheese · 04/05/2011 23:38

How appalling for you and your family. So sorry for your loss and for this disgraceful woman to have upset you all so much on top of it all.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 04/05/2011 23:52

There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said, but my jaw is on the floor at such vile behaviour, and I am so sorry that an already sad and difficult day was made so much worse. As others here have said, I pay my respects if I see a hearse and funeral cars, and wouldn't dream of impeding them or cutting them up or worse, as this piece of pond scum did.

{{{hugs}}} for you and your family - and well done for handling this so well.

takethisonehereforastart · 05/05/2011 00:05

What a terrible thing for somebody to do, I really am shocked.

I hope the police find some way to charge her with something, I'm sure they are as appalled as everyone else and they will try their best to get her charged one way or another.

I am sorry for your loss and I hope your mum feels better when the shock wears off.

pinkstarlight · 05/05/2011 00:31

omg words just fail me,i have no idea how anyone could be so selfish and lacking in respect.im not a violent person but i would feel exactly as you do if someone upset a member of my family like that.

pinkstarlight · 05/05/2011 00:38

oh by the way i would hand a copy of the footage to the media and news channels,name and shame the witch.